venting

Your daughter did not die because you were upset at her being a girl. I promise promise promise this is not the reason. I firmly believe that with all my heart.

Wonderfully said. Newbaby.

stickybeans:

Your daughter did not die because you were upset at her being a girl. I promise promise promise this is not the reason. I firmly believe that with all my heart.

Exactly what she said!! I suppose for some people whilst the baby is inside it is easy to not think about It as a real person... Sometimes I think we were all better off before we could even find out the sex.

Very well put, and puts many things in our lives into perspective!  Sometimes we need to be thankful for what we have, not what we think we should have.

Once again, very well said newbaby, how gutwrenching that must have been - don't think many of us can even begin to fathom.

Your little boy is going to be one lucky guy, all those wonderful big sisters! 

stickybeans:

Your daughter did not die because you were upset at her being a girl. I promise promise promise this is not the reason. I firmly believe that with all my heart.

 

 Well said. You're not at any fault for her demise. I guess it is just a part of life and something no one can control. She is definitely in a special place in all your hearts. However, like others said, it does put things into persepective and reality. Funny this is mentioned because I took a walk through a cemetery today and came across the burial sites of two newborns and I felt a small sadness that they were taken away from their parents. Death is the ultimate and most hardest thing for anyone to go through, and it'll make everyone realize not to take life for granted and appreciate all the good blessings given, whehter we wanted it or not.  

 new baby i understand how you feel as I too lost my son he was 9 it's heartbreaking loosing a child but to be honest I never take offence when people say they feel like their daughter or son has died when they find out they are having the opposite sex. To be honest I've said the same thing and I have experienced the loss of a child. 

It is a feeling of loss a loss of a dream we build up the image in our heads of how our dg will be what they will look like, sound like, their personalities and when we are told that they are not coming it's devastating,

You are in the same boat as i am you have lost a child but even that doesnt get rid of GD we know we should be grateful for what we have because we more than anyone knows what its like to loose the most precious thing in the world, but it doesnt stop us from wanting what we want, 

 Many of the ladies on here have never experienced loss and I pray that they never have to. but you should understand being on here how you felt everytime you were told it was another girl. 

im know you are a stronger woman then me i would never ever say otherwise. seriously i was a mess after my newborn died i couldn't even imagine lossing my 9 year old. i think they would have to lock me up and throw away the key. maybe im just too sensitive, maybe its all the easter stuff, maybe its the fact that im 24 weeks and still i know im not viable yet. i do apoligize if i offended anyone, that was not my intention and i do know what its like to feel that loss and sadness when you don't get your dg.

   i pray this does not happen to anyone else but i know it will. someone will lose their child and it isn't right and it isn't fair. i don't want anyone to feel the guilt i feel. but i would trade a hundred sons to hold her again for 5 mins. and i so stand by the fact that a healthy son is better then lossing your daughter. i know it won't make the sadness go away for some ladies. but i was ventin.g i was feeling sorry for myself and i don't want anyone else to ever feel this way.

ladies if you got a boy when all you wanted was a girl then im so sorry, but please take comfort in the fact that you are blessed if your child doesn't die in your arms. that you might get a lifetime of enjoying him and for whatever reason you are meant to be his mama.

p.s. hubby got home and knew exactly what was wrong so he let me have a good long cry, which was good because i try to keep a smile on my face for the girls. then i watched DWTS cause derek can always make me feel better. thanks everyone

When is a baby considered viable in the US? We consider a baby viable by 24 weeks, when my ds1 was in neonatal there were loads of 24-weekers that all pulled through. ( I know this is completely irrelevant as you will carry this baby to term :) )

Jennifer - I am so very sorry that Fiona couldn't stay with you. I agree with the others who said that there was nothing that you did to cause this. I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak that you suffered losing your two precious daughters. Hugs to you. xxxx

Newbaby thank you for writting this post ,am so sorry for what you went thru it made me cry... you just reminded me what is it like if i lose my baby like you i have 2 beautiful girls that God blessed me with and am pregnant with baby #3 dont know the sex yet but he first few weeks i found out i was crying my eyes out maybe that will be a girl with the time i started to fell alot better and i just cant wait to have her/him. Having a healthy baby is just ablessing maybe we cant fell like same way as you because we didnt go thu what you went thru my heart with you wishing you to have a beautiful baby boy hun.

I'm sorry for your loss if that helps...we all experiance grief over things in different ways...I couldn't imagine losing a child in my arms. I have had many 1-2 tri losses and understand some of your feelings. I realize no matter how much I wanted a daughter that my son's are miracles pure and simple...they are my reason for living and the reason why I am the good mom I am today. To be honest I can relate to my sons more than my daughter...I am a tough no frills chick.

it depends on the hospital. if they have a good nic-u with state of the art equipment then it is 24 weeks. however if you are in a small town like me and the nearest nic-u is over an hour away then they say 25 weeks. im almost there, this is just the scary part because i was so close last time. but i can say this. i got to hold my baby, she wasn't taken from me and jabbed with needles and she didn't have tubes shoved down her throat. she didn't have to live for days in a little bitty glass box with tubes and needles and feeding tubes. i pray she didn't know any pain just her mothers arms around her. so i guess im really lucky in a way.

Ruby_red:

When is a baby considered viable in the US? We consider a baby viable by 24 weeks, when my ds1 was in neonatal there were loads of 24-weekers that all pulled through. ( I know this is completely irrelevant as you will carry this baby to term :) )

 

 

This is what I thought too- 24 weeks your baby has a great viability chance.  

((hugs)) You did bring up an excellent point there.  I am so sorry about what you went through.  A friend of mine was pg after two boys and she wanted a girl.  Well she ended up having a still birth at 17 weeks (gender unknown).  Now she says she will never have a gender preference again.

Hi Newbaby, sorry for your loss.  I can not imagine your pain but I know your children are very lucky to have a mommy who cherishes them so much, especially after going through what you have went through.  When I had my miscarriage (we knew the baby was a boy), I was sad and went on to have this pregnancy soon after.  I was sad right when I found out this baby is a girl, not just because of GD but because of the son that I loss even though I know a new baby will never be able to replace my son, it would have been comforting to think that maybe his angel/soul went to this new baby somehow.  But after I realized that life is short, we should cherish what we are blessed with, I got over my GD.  Now I'm excited about the arrival of my daughter.  There are some fear still, that something might happen to her (cord around her neck, things going wrong at L&D, etc.).  I used to take it for granted that my babies will just all work out and be healthy and beautiful and everything will go smoothly at labor and delivery.  But after my miscarriage, I know that I need to enjoy this pregnancy and my children because I have been very lucky to be blessed with what I have already.  I am crossing fingers that my daughter will arrive safely and healthy.