Thanks to the ladies who have risen above and are still here to encourage others!
About the brotherly bond, I look forward to seeing that develop too, despite their 6 year age gap. Altho they may not be as close in the types of games and activites they do together, I think there probably will be less rivalry than if they'd been 2-3 yrs apart and DS1 will sort of be an model/idol/protector for DS2 (or so I hope)!
As for the quick fix, I've lived long enough to know that that doesn't happen - it takes time. I wish I could brainwash myself out of this funk, but I can't! However, I don't want to sit passively by and wallow bitterly in self-pity for years either. I DON'T want to feel that pang of envy/anger/bitterness whenever I see little girls, esp. since my part-time job does put me in contact with kids often... As a pp noted, I just want to look at the girls, think they're cute and move on. That's why I am letting myself feel the "grief", but trying to look on the bright side too, to change my "drama queen" way of thinking. I know this GD has complex underlying issues that have to do with my latent anxiety/perfectionism/self-esteem problems. I had issues with having an only child and how society was judging me too. That's why I'm in therapy. I also want to take proactive actions, like doing the volunteer work and whatnot. I think that could take the focus off the lack of a DD and put it more on what I've got and what I'm offering my boys and potentially a girl who needs a feminine model in her life (if I become a big sister).
I try to look at it this way: if this had been a girl, it would have been the cherry on the sundae. But since it's not, I don't want to look at my sundae dish as being half empy - it is still a full sundae, without the cherry granted.... but a full sundae nevertheless. I know it's a weird analogy, but I'm a visual person and this kind of image helps me sort out my feelings!
As for a 3rd child, I'm not closing the door completely, but I just think I'll have my hands full with two boys, esp. since I'll be almost 37 when DS2 is born. I'm just not a person who thrives on the chaos of multiple kids. I'm a calm, low-energy person. Also, adoption and HT seem just so pricey and complicated... I actually emailed a fertility clinic not too far as their stats looked good, and they just answered that they don't do PGD for family balancing purposes, and added a few little periods after (hum, as if their position if that it is ethically wrong).
Sorry for the rambling!!