Pregnant with boy#4

Hello all! I'm new here! I just found out a few days ago that I'm having boy #4! I was convinced this was a girl! This is most likely going to be my last baby... pregnancy is just too hard for me to go through this again. I was also diagnosed last week with gestational diabetes, which I also had last pg.

Since finding out about my new baby boy I have been in tears! I try to put on a brave face... but I always end up breaking down eventually. Today I decided to come looking for some support! I feel so guilty for being upset by this. I feel like I should just be happy and grateful for the blessing of another healthy baby! Because I was so convinced I was having a girl I feel like I am now having to mourn the loss of a daughter. I hope these feelings pass soon and I can begin to feel excited for my baby boy! I am due in November.

I look forward to getting to know all the other "boy moms" here!

Peggy

I am sorry to hear about your disappointment.  It's a hard thing to accept.  I wish you many hugs throughout the rest of your pregnancy.

Just wanted to say hi, I found out today I am pregnant w/ boy # 3.  This should be it for me cuz I already signed to have tubes tied during this C-Section.  I too thought it was a girl, everything felt so different.  I guess it was wishful thinking.  We have a pink room that would have been perfect for a girl but has been our "storage/office" room since moving here 4 years ago, and I never could bring myself to clean out that room to get it ready for a nursery, so probably deep down I knew but didn't want to believe it!  I know what you mean about the emotional roller coaster.  I also think it's not that we don't love the boys, its just so hard to accept never having a daughter.  As a kid I wanted a baby sister SO BAD, and then as an adult I wanted a daughter, and I will have neither.  I just wanted to buy an easy bake oven because I always wanted one of those when I was a kid!  Silly I know.  And it is hard cuz no one really gets it, of course my husband doesn't get it because he has his little "clones" or whatever!  And he is 6000+ miles away in Iraq, couldn't I have at least gotten one girl to keep me company since he is always gone.  Instead I have all the boys and no daddy around for them! Well I am glad everything looks well for your 4th son.  I think we realize how lucky we are but it doesn't make us want a girl any less!!  I am due Nov. 7 with this boy. 

Thanks for responding to my post! I understand all the feelings you are having! I also just wanted to be able to experience those girlie things with a daughter. It's such a build-up to the u/s and then all of a sudden the dream is ripped out from underneath you. Ugh! I know we will come to terms with it and love our baby boys... but right now it is so hard! I'm sick and tired of crying after doing it for the last 4 days! I'm so emotionally drained! I hope that for both of us our disappointment can resolve itself soon! (((HUGS)))!

Peggy

Oh and BTW... I don't think it's silly about the Easy Bake Oven... I can totally relate!

To Peggy,

I wish you all the best with this pregnancy. I am a Mum of 3 boys. I remember walking out of the u/s place after finding out my last was a boy and dry heaving on the footpath. I was so sick with sadness, it took all of my strength to stop myself from crying for weeks afterwards and to 'put on a happy face'.

Now, ofcourse, he is the light of my life but oh how I (secretly) wish he was a girl!

My prayers and happy thoughts to you,

(Newbie) Fi in Australia 

I felt that way with my last pregnancy. I thought for sure it was a girl - I had a girl name picked out and no boy name.  It is really hard.

I am trying again and praying for pink but just getting it in my head that if it is a boy - it was meant to be.

Sending you big hugs.

Haley in Ottawa Canada

Newbie(Fi) , you relived me !!!!

I had my second daughter couple of months ago, I was so convinced it is a boy and I took some rather stupid test and said is a boy! so what did I do? went around and told everyone I am having my second and last kid , I have a 2 yrs old girl and this one is a boy , etc... only to find out later on the US day it is a girl... I was in denial for sometiems, I did not believe the US, then I got angry I was mad at everyone moslty my husband (poor thing), I started to feel bitter and hated whoever had a boy and a girl...  Up to the moment she was born i had that feeling that the US is wrong and i will have a boy, and when the doc said "girl" everything ended! any how, People told me that I will be fne when the baby is born and that would love her , and I wont ever want to change her for a boy! well honestly there is no single day I look at her and think how would my life be if she was a he and right after this thought I get so scared that God will punish me eventually for being such an idiot but is inevitable , next day the same story! I pray to God I get over it everyday, but it does not work :( at least I dont cry anymore...  I dont want to have more kids, so sometimes I think she ruined my dream, and then I feel so embaressed since she had no say to even be here :(( is a very sad situation .  My husband does not care at all.. the other day while jogging with my Husband,  I saw a little boy riding his bike with his dady .. I told him you would never be able to go on bike rides with ur son... he said I would ride with my girls , and looked very content!!!! I wonder if he really really is okay with having 2 girls only????! he knows I cant stand being pregnant again ... so may be he is faking it??! anyhow ... I just wanted to say love a first site never worked for me,  neither did falling in love with my baby when she was born!  good luck to everyone trying for the desired gender , and please pray for me to get "normal" ... I hate being the jerk i am right now ... :(

YOU ARE NOT A JERK! NONE OF YOU ARE! You are a human being with feelings of disappointment. And you can't help how you feel. You can work through your feelings and maybe they will change, but you can't force it and you really can't control it. I feel for all of us same gender families. It is hard to accept that some experiences may not happen for us because we don't have girls or boys. I can say that it may soften over time. You may decide to become pregnant again, or you may ease into peace and acceptance. But it may take some time. I have three boys, the youngest is 2, and I am just now learning SOME contentment and happiness about what I have. (And we are trying AGAIN)! Please don't be hard on yourselves! That only adds to the problem. Come here for support and encouragement! We are here for you! You will find lots of people who share your feelings and understand you. Hang in there girls.

I read this once:

Everything will be OK in the end.
If it's not OK, it's not the end.

Trite, but comforting.

Marie