Compared to the health of the baby, all other things become
insignificant. The exact same thing happened last year on the
ivillage forum. After 4 boys, the mother had the long awaited
daughter, but they were shocked at birth when the baby had Down's and a
hole in her heart. Happily, the baby is doing well so far and the
mother says they love her more than they could have ever dreamed
possible.
Being human, it is easy sometimes to think that these things happen as
punishment, for wanting a boy or a girl instead of only caring if it's
healthy. I don't believe that. Only a cruel and vindictive
God would punish a baby over that, not a loving God.
Haley, to answer your question about Down's. Yes, the risk of
Down's increases as you age. Before age 30, it increases each
year, but only in tiny increments. After 33, it starts increasing
dramatically. By the time you hit 45, your odds have climbed to 1
in 30. But just to put that in perspective, that means at age 45
you still have a 96% chance of having a baby
without Down's.
Here's a chart:
And yes, it is essentially a bad roll of the dice. If you read
my article "How Nature Chooses Boy or Girl" (link on home page), it
explains how when the egg and sperm join, the two sets of chromosomes
combine to form 23 matched pairs (46 total). Sometimes, there is
a mistake in this joining, and one chromosome is missing from a pair
(called a monosomy) or there is an extra chromosome, making three
instead of a pair (called a trisomy). Since chromosomes carry our
DNA blueprint, most of the time, a mistake in this blueprint is
lethal. Most embryos with chromosome errors don't survive, and
perish in early pregnancy. Chromosome abnormalities are by far
the most common reason for early miscarriages. These
abnormalities just happen by accident, there is nothing anyone could do
to cause or prevent them.
Down's Syndrome is one of the few chromosomal abnormalities that is
survivable, but with birth defects; it is caused by an extra chromosome
21 (so it is also called trisomy 21).
What causes these tragic errors in the joining of chromosomes?
Simply, the process is so complicated and difficult, it is likely to
have mistakes. Really, it is a miracle whenever it happens
correctly. Even in a young, fertile woman, some embryos will turn
out to be abnormal (20% to 40%) but will never survive to become a
baby. As you age, your eggs are aging too, and what this means is
that the final maturation process of the egg as it prepares to join
with the sperm becomes more error prone... old eggs just can't work
this complicated magic as well as young eggs. This is the main
reason why it simply becomes harder to get pregnant as you get older,
fewer and fewer eggs can become a viable embryo.