Sad because of mean people :(

 We just found out our first baby is most likely a boy. Now, I would be pretty happy about this, except for the fact that the reponses I get are things like, "I'm sorry." "That really sucks!" "I'm so sorry!" 

My first reaction was happy, a bit disappointed, but happy. Now I am so freaking depressed thanks to other people.

My in-laws talk constantly of their granddaughter (BIL's wife is having a girl before me). She gets stuff bought for her. Our son will not. They do not care. They are not excited. Our son will not be loved by them. I was going to go shopping with my mother in law but she suddenly had absolutely no interest.

All of this has made me so depressed. I cry a lot. I want to be happy, I feel horrific that I am not, because I know people struggle to get pregnant and we are lucky and blessed. But this is not the baby I had vivid dreams of--a little girl--and now I'm convinced it will never happen, it was just my delusional brain. I always thought we'd have a girl first. My husband wanted a boy first, then he wants a girl, but I've had a rough time of being sick constantly and now I figure, "why bother? the next will be a boy." 

No friends want to come to our baby shower. So we are not having one. They don't want to buy stuff for a boy or whatever. That's lame. (Especially because I didn't want tons of girly girl crap if this baby was a girl!) All my friends have girls. Those I know who are pregnant, they're having girls.

Just needed to vent because no one listens. :( I feel so bad feeling this way. I'm afraid I willl be a bad mother, that I won't love our child. My doctor wasn't 100% sure, as the baby wasn't cooperating, but we saw what looked to be boy parts. My husband says that he understands how I feel and that it's not bad to feel this way, it's normal, etc. I feel like I'm mourning that baby I thought I had, on top of dealing with the knowledge those in my baby's life won't care because God forbid he has a penis.

My MIL and your MIL should get together and go bowling.... I swear. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Know that your not alone in this. I'm sorry that your friends are being crappy. Maybe it's time to make new friends....

I think you should put aside everyone else's opinions, although that is quite difficult. I can't believe no one (other than your husband) seems to get excited.... what is wrong with them??!! Friends not wanting to come to your shower because you're having a boy, what kind of friends are they??!! And I feel really sorry that your mother-in-law is being difficult, not showing you support and wanting to go shopping. I think your husband should be talking with her, that is just horrible.

Just wanted to give you hugs, I can't imagine how you feel. That little boy inside you is going to love you so much and you'll be a great mom! When you have him in your arms it won't matter what everyone else said, you'll feel so special that he's yours. There is always next time to have a girl, enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to all the special moments you'll have with your son.

I agree with crystal251, I have 3 boys and am pregnany agian,.all I here is terrible comments that make me cry,.but my the boys love me so much I feel lucky to have them. I thought I would be a terrible mom because of gender dissapointment, but now I wouldn't have it any other way..uou will be great and enjoy your baby and pregnancy while you can, and tell those people how hurtful they are bring , hugs to you and feel better hun!

I am astonished to read your post.   I think you need to find some new friends, I can't imagine why they would not give you a shower because you're having a boy?  That is the strangest thing I have ever heard, really it is. 

You have no idea what you are in store for, your little boy will be amazing, I guarantee it. 

Now off you go to find some new friends,the ones you have well, sound terrible!!!

i think little boys are amazing. they are rare gems in my family. you are blessed and im so jealous.

krystal251:

I think you should put aside everyone else's opinions, although that is quite difficult. I can't believe no one (other than your husband) seems to get excited.... what is wrong with them??!! Friends not wanting to come to your shower because you're having a boy, what kind of friends are they??!! And I feel really sorry that your mother-in-law is being difficult, not showing you support and wanting to go shopping. I think your husband should be talking with her, that is just horrible.

Just wanted to give you hugs, I can't imagine how you feel. That little boy inside you is going to love you so much and you'll be a great mom! When you have him in your arms it won't matter what everyone else said, you'll feel so special that he's yours. There is always next time to have a girl, enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to all the special moments you'll have with your son.

what Krystal251 said is so true! i'm sorry people have been so rude to you. Your feelings are normal, of course your disappointed, but when your beautiful baby boy is born i'm sure your love for him will take over. congratulations on your baby boy :))

 Thanks, everyone. I just needed somewhere to vent so I joined as I can so identify with how y'all are feeling instead of getting told I'm selfish or whatever, you know? Bah. People can be such jerks. I know we're blessed with whatever we have and God's plan is way better than ours, but it's still hard to be happy about it when people bring out such negative stuff.

We decided for a baby shower we're inviting a bunch of guy friends who are excited no matter what. The girls can go bite me and whine they're not invited! :)

Your friends & your MIL are NOT nice people and im sure all their girls will be spoiled brats. Im glad your having a shower, there's nothing like having your first child no matter what the gender. Your first will always be your first. He is what made you a mom.  I would be very excited to have a shower w/ a bunch of guy friends, very cool!

Azuremyst:

Your friends & your MIL are NOT nice people and im sure all their girls will be spoiled brats. Im glad your having a shower, there's nothing like having your first child no matter what the gender. Your first will always be your first. He is what made you a mom.  I would be very excited to have a shower w/ a bunch of guy friends, very cool!

Yup . People with an "anti-boy" attitude need to be extinct..seriously. If they don't like males, how the heck did they wind up getting married because for one, I'm sure no family would allow their sons marry into an "anti-boy" family where he'll be second class and treated like shit b/c he's just a boy. How dare they insult you just b/c you are having your first child-a BOY! Everyone deserves a special and memorable baby shower for their first baby..gender does not count in any aspect. You are not selfish, you just wanted a girl first and I can tell you want a boy some point in your life. And I agree, the little girls in your family  by just looking at how they act towards certain people, will be nothing but complete shits as a result I'm sure they'll be spoiled to the point they start walking on top of others. Get out of that family, and find new friends who will treat you as a real friend and make you feel excited to be a first time mom. I'm so happy that you are welcoming a son into your family..he'll be the best thing that ever happened to you, and I mean it.

wow... I'm sorry...that sucks they are being so dumb.... seriously....shame on them...they will miss out on so much! Seriously if you were my relative I would have been out shopping with you as I actually enjoy shopping for boys. I love the light blue and brown type things for boys...I went all out and boyish for my new nephew. I cant see why ppl get so up in arms about girly stuff and all after a while I go out of my way looking for something girly with no pink and barely any frills!!!! Dont feel bad...Go out any but stuff your self...see it as you wrapping him in all your love!

edoodle:

We decided for a baby shower we're inviting a bunch of guy friends who are excited no matter what. The girls can go bite me and whine they're not invited! :)

I'm glad you're doing this, celebrate with those who care. The others won't know what they're missing until it's too late.

So did your friends just out of the blue say, "we won't be coming to your shower because you're having a boy", ? Because that really is one of the stranger things I have heard?

/

 Yeah, this one girl was all, "That sucks you're having a boy. I don't like getting boy stuff, so I won't come to the baby shower. Is that okay?" ..... All my friends who are pregnant or who have kids have girls, so they don't get it, I guess. I don't know. Said friend--who I'm not talking to anymore!--is pretty oblivious, so what she said didn't exactly surprise me. What surprised me was so many friends telling me they are SO sorry for me.

 This is just getting so bad because I am already hormonal, and it's making me crazy-depressed. I know I should be so happy logically, and I am, but just being depressed from the way people around me are acting like it's something bad is driving me crazy. I wish my husband would talk to his parents for the way they're acting (let's buy future granddaughter a ton of presents for Christmas and she's not even here, and ignore the boy and keep telling the other daughter in law that "it still COULD be a girl!"). My parents, who were initially excited, now refuse to talk about the baby no matter what. That hurts too, like they're going to the inlaws' side.