We just found out our first baby is most likely a boy. Now, I would be pretty happy about this, except for the fact that the reponses I get are things like, "I'm sorry." "That really sucks!" "I'm so sorry!"
My first reaction was happy, a bit disappointed, but happy. Now I am so freaking depressed thanks to other people.
My in-laws talk constantly of their granddaughter (BIL's wife is having a girl before me). She gets stuff bought for her. Our son will not. They do not care. They are not excited. Our son will not be loved by them. I was going to go shopping with my mother in law but she suddenly had absolutely no interest.
All of this has made me so depressed. I cry a lot. I want to be happy, I feel horrific that I am not, because I know people struggle to get pregnant and we are lucky and blessed. But this is not the baby I had vivid dreams of--a little girl--and now I'm convinced it will never happen, it was just my delusional brain. I always thought we'd have a girl first. My husband wanted a boy first, then he wants a girl, but I've had a rough time of being sick constantly and now I figure, "why bother? the next will be a boy."
No friends want to come to our baby shower. So we are not having one. They don't want to buy stuff for a boy or whatever. That's lame. (Especially because I didn't want tons of girly girl crap if this baby was a girl!) All my friends have girls. Those I know who are pregnant, they're having girls.
Just needed to vent because no one listens. :( I feel so bad feeling this way. I'm afraid I willl be a bad mother, that I won't love our child. My doctor wasn't 100% sure, as the baby wasn't cooperating, but we saw what looked to be boy parts. My husband says that he understands how I feel and that it's not bad to feel this way, it's normal, etc. I feel like I'm mourning that baby I thought I had, on top of dealing with the knowledge those in my baby's life won't care because God forbid he has a penis.