Help from Mothers of all boys

It is rough giving up the dream.  Are you sure you are done?  We agreed this would be our last regardless of sex, but when we found out it was a boy we decided to wait and see. I refuse to believe just because we had 4 boys, the 5th would be one too.  We also talk about adoption being a possibilty. I had a hard time for the first few weeks I found out number 4 was boy. I cried on and off. But in the words of my wise husband, "It aint over till its over" :-)  It helped me enjoy my pregnancy, knowing I might still have a girl one day!  And now that my beautiful baby is here, I am not ever sure I want to try again.  My family feels complete, not that I am ready to make any permant decisions, lol!

Your tone/reaction will help set the tone, when you tell people that it's a boy do it in a way that lets everyone know you're excited. So instead of saying "It's another boy" say "It's a boy!!! We figured why mess with perfection, we're so excited". Now I know this will be hard, but I promise you people will react differently, they're not going to want to rain on your parade, or MOST people aren't going to want to rain on your boy parade.

Being a mom of three boys I understand your disappointment, but 17 years later I'm here to tell you that one day you'll be content and think that life is wonderful in spite of only experiencing one gender. I don't feel like I missed out, I feel blessed and grateful that thus far my boys are healthy and happy. Really I just wish they'd outgrow the farting stage and slow down on the food consumption---I'm going broke feeding them.

Congratulations on another miracle!

Jillian:

Your tone/reaction will help set the tone, when you tell people that it's a boy do it in a way that lets everyone know you're excited. So instead of saying "It's another boy" say "It's a boy!!! We figured why mess with perfection, we're so excited". Now I know this will be hard, but I promise you people will react differently, they're not going to want to rain on your parade, or MOST people aren't going to want to rain on your boy parade

This exactly!!

My friend has 3 girls and I see her pics on FB and her comments and her family looks so ridiculously happy and cool and I get that fleeting thought "Oh, I wish I had that!".. and then I realise I do!!  It has so much to do with her attitude and embracing her beatiful family. I know she had GD with her 3rd but she has NEVER let it show. So now I have learnt not to say "Yeah, three girls " and say instead "Yay! Three Girls! "

Another friend did exactly what a PP said and sent a text saying "we just had our 3rd boy" and no more.  I wish she could have said "we are thrilled to announce the arrival of our 3rd boy!!!".

Three boys was my dream family *sigh*  GOOD LUCK!

Jillian:

Your tone/reaction will help set the tone, when you tell people that it's a boy do it in a way that lets everyone know you're excited. So instead of saying "It's another boy" say "It's a boy!!! We figured why mess with perfection, we're so excited". Now I know this will be hard, but I promise you people will react differently, they're not going to want to rain on your parade, or MOST people aren't going to want to rain on your boy parade.

Being a mom of three boys I understand your disappointment, but 17 years later I'm here to tell you that one day you'll be content and think that life is wonderful in spite of only experiencing one gender. I don't feel like I missed out, I feel blessed and grateful that thus far my boys are healthy and happy. Really I just wish they'd outgrow the farting stage and slow down on the food consumption---I'm going broke feeding them.

Congratulations on another miracle!

 

 This is perfectly said. Show excitement and happiness when expressing it to others that way others will be just as happy :). Also I you should try to avoid all the negative comments you get from others..it's none of their business anyway and shouldn't affect how your life will be. And as Jillian said, you will be happy with what you are blessed with in the end even if there are some cons to raising children, but that is with everyone so..

 

100 great things about having a son: http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/09/who-is-best-to-parent-boys-or-girls.html#boys :)

When I was pg with boy #4, I had a complete stranger come up to me and say "Well, you've failed 4 times now at getting your girl, I would just quit now!" I was appalled. It's hard enough having that yearning for a baby girl, but for people to just assume that the only reason I have had children is to get a girl and a complete stranger to say this to me, which is none of her business! For me, my gender disappointment had nothing to do with the baby I was carrying....I love my boys more than anything and the very moment I found out I was having a boy, I loved him. My disappointment had nothing to do with him...it had to do with my longing for a daughter that I didn't know if I was ever going to have. You have to be prepared for the comments. You have to put on a strong front or pretend you don't know what you are having until you are ready to deal with the comments. I would have friend (who are no longer my friends) laugh at me when we found out we were having yet another boy. A baby is a blessing, regardless of gender....and it's important that you love this baby and show that love to anyone who would comment otherwise! I am so glad that I have all my boys. I had 4 boys ages 4 and under....then I had a baby girl! Then everyone assumed we were done having children. I made sure that we weren't having a large family just for the sake of having a girl. We got pg again when she was one, and I was hoping for another girl. But, we were blessed with a boy instead. My 5th boy is such a joy....and now we are expecting our 2nd girl. Through the years, I've had my ups and downs concerning gender. I think I would have been more inclined to stop having children if I had gotten my cookie cutter family.....and then I think about not having each of my precious boys.....and I am so glad to have what I have. Once you can come to terms with what your family is in reality, vs what society wants to say is best, you will be much happier and content to have your boys!

I have just recently (9weeks ago) had my 3rd boy and i would not change him for all the tea in china.  I had all the snide remarks about 'bet your hopin for a girl' and 'what will you do if its a boy' ..... my respose... STUFF YOU i am hopin for my kid to be healthly and happy.  I love my 3 boys to bits and would NOT have it any other way.  I have decided not to have  anymore more kids because i am happy with what i have been granted.  I still get to this day even with him here 'oh 3 boys how do you manage'.... um der, the same way anyone else manages!!!!  I am a firm believer that the cards of fate are dealt before your born, one of my friends cannot have kids and she would give her right arm to walk in my shoes.  4 boys.... a dream.... be proud and dont let people get you down x

hi i have 4 beautiful boys and i honestly thought after my fourth (who i suffered GD with terribly) i wouldnt be having any more.myself and my hubby have decided to try one more time for a little girl.i too get lots of thoughtless comments about having no tv,trying for a football team.then people saying they feel so sorry for me, i must be mad etc etc.infact, i am very very lucky.i have 4 healthy children who are all loved equally and want for nothing.we have a happy home, plenty of friends and family.why would they feel sorry for me? its just such an insensitive thing to say.also i get, didnt u want a girl then?like i had a bloody choice!!! you dont get to pick!! not unless you're rich lol.all i can say is yes, at times its hard work, but i guess thats the same with girls too.as long as your boys know you love them, dont care what other people say.big hugs ((((())))) mums of little boys ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxx

I have found reading all the responses here really interesting - I never know what to say when someone says something stupidly insensitive (which they do all the time) like 'well that's having all boys for you' ! I am quite a defensive person and have been known to snap back with something like 'well what's wrong with having all boys?' - later though I always regret a retort like that thinking that I've given away my obvious GD! Last time it happened was in the supermarket a couple of weeks ago when my admittedly very naughty 3 year old was playing up something chronic and my oldest son had a face like thunder over not getting his own way. The checkout lady laughed and said 'you should of had girls'. I almost said 'Well how the **** am I meant to do that (you stupid woman!!!)' but I politely smiled and got out of there as fast as possible. All the comments here have given me food for thought though so thanks ladies, I am now better armed the next time someone who doesn't have GD opens their big mouth!!!!

it is very difficult hun and tbh, a year after having my 4th boy im slowly losing my patience with peoples rude and insensitive comments.i hate how boys are so stereotypical it pees me right off.my 2nd son is an absolute nightmare and i have no idea why!! but my other 3 boys are really well behaved! they enjoy singing, dancing, baking.they even enjoy girly films like Cinderella and they all had baby dolls as toddlers.they are all very loving and sensitive boys (espec my eldest).These people that 'pity' us need to understand that its not a tragedy having all boys, its a blessing! This does not change my ultimate desire for a little girl but im just sick of people feeling so sorry for me coz i have 4 boys lol x

This is something I need to work on.  I don't have advice, but can tell you I experience it almost daily.  Store checkers can be the worst offenders.  Some comments may be well meaning, others not well thought out, and others plain rude.  In most social settings, getting together with the girls, it comes up because 3 of us had all boys and now the other two out of three of us either have a girl or is having a girl and the comments I hear or over hear are too much sometimes.  Last week, for example, a mother with 2 girls asked my friend what she is having.  She has two boys already and will be having a girl.  The mother of two girls said, "good thing it's not three boys", and my friend replied, "I know!  It's not something you ever want to say out loud, but...".  Well, dear, you said it out loud and I had yet another moment to be reminded that to others my beautiful family, what I live for and would die for, is seen as a failure by so many.  The comments hurt so much that I am 10.5 weeks along and have only told 2 close friends and nobody else because I can't deal with the questions and comments assuming that I am hoping for a girl only to tell people it is a boy and in the rest of the world's eyes, another failure.  When I found out the gender, I will announce the pregnancy.

daringtodream:

The comments hurt so much that I am 10.5 weeks along and have only told 2 close friends and nobody else because I can't deal with the questions and comments assuming that I am hoping for a girl only to tell people it is a boy and in the rest of the world's eyes, another failure.  When I found out the gender, I will announce the pregnancy.

I am in EXACTLY the same boat as you - my EDD is 17th july and I too am not telling anyone apart from the 2 friends who know that I'm pregnant until I've had an early nub scan on Jan 5th so I'll have a good idea of gender. Horrible isn't it. How I'd love to be embracing this pregnancy and shouting it from the rooftops :-( xxx

 I have two boys and when I told people I was having my second boy and they said "Oh, another boy?"  I responded with things like, "Yes, I got exactly what I wanted."  If people said, "Oh so you'll have two boys?"  I said, "Yes, I got lucky both times."   I once had a stranger who didn't know what I was having and said, "I hope it's a girl."  I said, "Why? It's a boy, I'm happy to have another boy."

I get IGNORANT comments like this all the time with my 3 boys and I usually say "we are happy they are all healthy" or "I am so happy my boys have brothers to grow up with because I never had a sister" I was part of a PP. My DH has witty comebacks like "yes we have 3 boys...we wouldnt want it any other way" or "shes (me) the only princess we need in our house" or "theres nothing negative about 3 healthy boys".

We get defensive because our oldest son is almost 7 and very smart so we dont want his feelings to get hurt by these morons

what wonderful messages, what a wonderful group of girls on this site. its true some people are so harsh with their comments :(