3rd cycle -- this might be the one!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR BLOOD TEST TODAY!!! I am sooooo nervous for you!!

 I got my period yesterday morning - 8dp5dt.  Called the office to get an early beta.  Big surprise...it was negative.

Cried myself all day yesterday.  Not sure where to go from here.  We have spent so much money on have nothing.  It would have been worth every penny had we had a girl to show for it; but we have nothing but heartache.  I don't want to cycle again because it is so hard emotionally, physically etc.  I could go through this again and still have nothing.  At what point do you put a cap on it and say "enough"?  And yet, I am afraid to try naturally and have another boy.  I think the hardest thing at the moment is wrapping my brain around the idea that I might never have a daughter.  That is the hardest part.  If I could just not want a daughter -- that would make this so much easier.  But I can't, I can't get it out of my head -- I can't stop longing for a daughter and I don't want to live the rest of my life like this...wanting one, being jealous of those who have one, always thinking about what she would look like and act like.  You all know how badly we desire a child of a certain gender -- in your opinions what do i do...what would you do?  Try again and spend more money knowing this might not work again -- 3 ivf cycle's and 1 FET and nothing??  Or try naturally using some sway factors and just pray to god things work out in my favor?? 

Ow honey I'm so sorry to hear this.....i really don't know what you should do....if you have the money and you can emotional and physicacly handle it I would say go for it untill you reached a point that you can honestly say to yourself "now it's enough I have done everything I can and it's okay the way it is..." big hugs for you!

I am so so sorry.  I don't even know what to say.

Ashley,

 

I do understand how you feel!  I decided after my failed IVF, to try naturally.  I decided that I just wanted one more baby even if it was another boy.  For a few months, I didn't get pregnant, so at age 39 decided to use my last leftover gonal f pen and do a regular IUI.  I was shocked to find out on my 1st try that I am now pregnant with twins.  They tell me 1 boy and 1 girl.  We will see if everything turns out okay.  I had always said that if I had another boy, then I would eventually adopt a little girl or 2 out of the foster system.  I would have loved them just the same.  Maybe one day I will adopt a girl, so my current baby in utero has a sister. 

I don't count my chickens until they are hatched, so hopefully both of the babies are healthy and everything goes well.

Don't give up on your dream of having a daughter.  She may not come to you in the way you would have liked, but  maybe just the way you need.

Wendy

 

I´m so sorry to hear that pfp. I can imagine deciding what to do in Your situation is incredibly hard. Maybe letting some time pass will make it easier to decide. A BFN is so devastating I think so it is hard to think clearly about anything. I have done pgd twice and we will go for a third, last try in February but if that does not work I will have to make the same decision and really dread that...

oh no! I am so sorry to hear this.

After a BFN and then a chemical, we had our follow up with our RE. I just wanted to know if he truly thought it was that possible IVF/MS/PGD could work for me. He said yes, which eventually led to me trying again. 

See what your RE says in your follow up consult, take some time, and then decide what next is best for you.

I am SO sorry this has happened. I don't know what I would do honestly. I think talking to your RE is a good idea and place to start. Also taking some time to absorb this too. So sorry dear..

That is such a terrible news. I am so devastated seeing your post. Please take your time and decide what is best for you. ((((hugs))))

I'm so sorry to hear of your news.  This journey is so hard and heartbreaking ....I wish there were some guarantees in all of this

I am so so sorry!! I truely understand how you feel....not in respect to the IVF's because I have not done any yet, but how you long for that little girl. I could've written that!! I know you will come up with some other way to get to that little girl you have always wanted!!! It's not over till it's over. Maybe you should take a break from all this until you decide what you want to do. I know the feeling......I go through it daily saying "why, why do I want a daughter so bad". "why can't I just NOT care". But the fact of the matter is that you do!! I do!! Maybe you should think about naturally......swaying but really researching it. I swayed but honestly I thought I was really swaying hard with doing egg whites in test tubes, but I see where my error was. I was very laxed and because of that it didn't work!! If you can't afford IVF again then maybe naturally may be a way for you to get to your little girl. If you can afford it....why not go again!!! There has to be a protocol that will work for you now! I know I have no idea the roller coaster with IVF you have gone through, but I do know I long for a baby girl like you do.....and although I plan on only 1 shot at IVF (all I can afford) I am going to make it the best shot ever!!! And if it doesn't work for me I know that I will have to be done with it all because I am not a very happy in the inside because of it!! It makes me sour about things in my life and jealous as hell about others with little girls and I am super sensitive when it comes to everyone but me with a daughter!! But, I am going into this knowing that so hearing your situation.....I say if you have the money....Go for it!! I would! If not and you still long for this......go natural with swaying but don't rush it. Be patient and I think it will happen for you!! Lots of luck!!

 My husband just does not want to spend the money on no guarentee.  We have already spent so much and the next cycle could be the same.  Ivf is just like swaying, there is no guarentee.  There is only like 30% chance at best with each cycle getting pregger's -- and if you do atleast you know its a girl.  But swaying is 50/50, maybe a bit better if you really try - but you don't know if you're getting b or g.  So is it baby or no baby; or boy or girl. The truth is I still want another baby.  I want a girl more than words can express, but if one were to tell me that I could never ever have a girl then I would still want anotehr baby and have to get over/handle never having a daughter.  I am trying now, I really am.  It is taking time.  I talked with my doctor and of course he thinks I should try again -- he's not paying for it.  Eventually it will work when I get that one good egg that is a girl (this time I did have 1 really good looking blast but it was a male -- the 2 females that were transferred he said didn't look so great).  How many times would I have to do this to get that one good girl though???  Part of me wants to give up on this girl and move on with my life.  I am exhausted!!!  Tired of doing 1 yr.+ ivf cycle, tired of now researching so much about swaying -- just tired of obsessing over it.  Take a break....I can't, it's all I think about.  And my son will be 3 in March -- so this next baby will be 3.5-4yrs. behind him.  I know its not major but if I were to have a boy - which just might be my fate, then I would want them to be close and that is a gap.  I just wanna have a baby now, I am done with all this and I don't know why ivf hasn't worked for me.  I'm only 29, very fertile (i get pregger's 1st month trying always) ---one would think I was a shoe in.  But no -- some things aren't meant for everyone, and maybe this wasn't meant for me.

Pfp I totally understand your feelings right now!!! I just had 1 boy very easily but I got one ivf and it looked very good in the beginning and in the end we had poor developed embryos and the dr thinks I might have endometriosis but we will never know unless I have an operation which i don't want because I have really no symptoms at all!!!. I know an ohw is very rare but what If I end like you and many others? I did look very fertile and my husband too said the dr. What if we never able to get a baby girl tru ivf or even a baby boy? My son is 2 I don't want a big gap between him and his sibling but I want so bad a girl! I can't let go my dream right now and I'm getting more obsessed about it but on the other hand I'm so done with it (okay it was just my first try)!!!! I don't want to sway because I think I have to try one more time ivf or 2 times. But right know I'm done with it!!!! I'm 34.....okay maybe I'm overreacting (my period is 19 days too late after my bfn) but its nice to ventilate it here......thanks girls!