When I see Asian and Indian women with girls, i want to scream

Sasha2012:

somerlouise:

 Totally agree. I have a large number of friends who are of Indian decent, and some were desperate for boys, and some were desperate for girls.

Yeah, yeah. Some want boys, some want girls. All is normal, all is well,lets be politically correct here.....Meanwhile, in some Indian districts the girl to boy ratio dropped to FEWER than 800 girls for every 1000 boys born (900-917 to 1000 elsewhere).And that with ultrasound gender determination being theoretically illegal........Isnt that "sooooooooooo inappropriate"??? Where are those girls? And what about the treatment received by girls that did have the chance to be born? A country that prays to goddesses but destroys its girls...what irony! I dont care about PC when there is so much grave injustice being done.

Sorry to say, but India in it's entirety has a ratio of 914 girls under 6 for every 1000 boys in 2011 via a recent study.

Coffeecake:

After reading about how Asians and indians abort females and how skewed the gender balance is over there, I just want to scream when i see these incredibly lucky women with multiple girls, and know they probably don'tnappreciate them. I wanted a girl so bad and I got two boys. My neighbor is Chinese and is divorced. Part of their problem was they had two daughters and he blamed her. What I would give for 2 girls. And they are beautiful girls too and I love their clothes. Why do these women who are willing to kill their daughters get them, while I am stuck with sons?

 

P.s. maybe you are just upset, but please rethink that. If they were willing to kill their girls and are in the U.S. they could have aborted them if they felt like it. They obviously are not willing to kill them if they are walking around with them as they also could have adopted them out.

Sasha2012:

Dont get me started on this. I live in an area with many Asian families and what I see is just horrible. First of all, one hardly sees all girl families here (none in my immediate vincinity) while all-boy families abound. Red flag. When a firstborn is a girl the second one is sure as hell to be a boy. Second red flag. Their sex ratio is skewed BAD even here in America (I'm talking about 1st generation immigrants in New York). All you need to do is to go to the local China town and walk for 5 minutes to see major gender imbalance in children 7 and under. Now there are other immigrants here from countries where boys are preferred (Pakistan, Middle east etc.) but  because they are usually religious they dont temper with these things and there is no imbalance visible. 

I live next to a Chinese family who have a girl, maybe 5 years old, and a somewhat younger boy. The boy hardly has to walk because someone is always carrying him while the girl usually trods behind carrying BAGS. Both parents and grandparends dot on the boy and spoil him rotten. The difference in treatment is obvious . It makes me hate them and I feel sooo bad about wanting a boy because it puts me in their company. I dont admit to my neighbors I want a son and as a matter of fact I am not so sure thatI want one anymore because of these woman hating *&^*&^&^

 

I always wished I was Indian and I would love to look like one! You make me want to run off and adopt an Indian kid in the future. :]

 

Wow, just reread this and sad that you feel "stuck" with sons. I am blessed with my three boys and would never consider myself stuck with them. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black. Do your homework on these countries and cultures but realize that the people you are referring to are in the US. They are Americans. I think it is unfair to make assumptions on someone based on race. I understand longing for daughters but I would try to not make a blanket statement on an entire race of people.

jilo77:

Wow, just reread this and sad that you feel "stuck" with sons. I am blessed with my three boys and would never consider myself stuck with them. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black. Do your homework on these countries and cultures but realize that the people you are referring to are in the US. They are Americans. I think it is unfair to make assumptions on someone based on race. I understand longing for daughters but I would try to not make a blanket statement on an entire race of people.

You said that very well

jilo77:

I think it is unfair to make assumptions on someone based on race.

 

All people on here have GD because they make assumption on someone based on gender. I wonder why almost nobody gets upset about that.

Futagono:

jilo77:

I think it is unfair to make assumptions on someone based on race.

 

All people on here have GD because they make assumption on someone based on gender. I wonder why almost nobody gets upset about that.

Because most assumptions based on gender here are based on what it would be like to have a certain gender. Not how much someone loves their child based on their race. Big difference in my book.

jilo77:

Because most assumptions based on gender here are based on what it would be like to have a certain gender. Not how much someone loves their child based on their race. Big difference in my book.

I really don't understand this argument . We never talked about the race of children or did we? Could you explain it again?

This is the most ignorant, racist, ridiculous post that I think I have ever seen on this forum.

Shame on the OP.  Shame.

Could I re-state OP's post in the hopes of ginning up a little more compassion here? "I see Asian families with girls and I imagine that they might be unwanted or disfavored from what I read in the news and what I know about my neighbors' families [as we all know, may or may not be true]. This really kicks up my very, very painful GD. Why should people who don't value girls get to have them when I do not?" I feel like we need to open our hearts and reflect back OP's pain and disappointment. I don't think her intention was to insult other races or cultures.

cowbell:

Yes, if we are talking about women native to their countries. But I'm assuming that the Indian and Asian women that she sees that "makes her want to scream" are in this country (like her neighbor for instance). They are Americans. Some still identify with their homeland's cultures but a great majority do not. They are as American as you and I in our gender preferences. For this reason, I don't think it is right to group an entire race like that. I understand wanting to vent, but I found it offensive.

I dont think the OP sees an Asian American woman with a daugther and thinks: "Oh, ALL Asian American women prefer sons." The Asian Americans just remind her of what is going on in countries like China, Pakistan and India (which cannot be denied when you look at the sex ratio). And this is a Gender Disappointment forum. There are lots of offensive things on here. Do you find venting about "dirty boys" and "pink girls" less offensive?

my2boyswantasister:

This is the most ignorant, racist, ridiculous post that I think I have ever seen on this forum.

Shame on the OP.  Shame.

You sure? Because I find all this prancing and fake, hypocritical political correctness even more ridiculous.

Futagono:

cowbell:

Yes, if we are talking about women native to their countries. But I'm assuming that the Indian and Asian women that she sees that "makes her want to scream" are in this country (like her neighbor for instance). They are Americans. Some still identify with their homeland's cultures but a great majority do not. They are as American as you and I in our gender preferences. For this reason, I don't think it is right to group an entire race like that. I understand wanting to vent, but I found it offensive.

I dont think the OP sees an Asian American woman with a daugther and thinks: "Oh, ALL Asian American women prefer sons." The Asian Americans just remind her of what is going on in countries like China, Pakistan and India. And this is a Gender Disappointment forum. There are lots of offensive things on here.

my2boyswantasister:

This is the most ignorant, racist, ridiculous post that I think I have ever seen on this forum.

Shame on the OP.  Shame.

You sure? Because I find all this prancing and fake, hypocritical political correctness even more ridiculous.

Futagono:

cowbell:

Yes, if we are talking about women native to their countries. But I'm assuming that the Indian and Asian women that she sees that "makes her want to scream" are in this country (like her neighbor for instance). They are Americans. Some still identify with their homeland's cultures but a great majority do not. They are as American as you and I in our gender preferences. For this reason, I don't think it is right to group an entire race like that. I understand wanting to vent, but I found it offensive.

I dont think the OP sees an Asian American woman with a daugther and thinks: "Oh, ALL Asian American women prefer sons." The Asian Americans just remind her of what is going on in countries like China, Pakistan and India. And this is a Gender Disappointment forum. There are lots of offensive things on here.

my2boyswantasister:

This is the most ignorant, racist, ridiculous post that I think I have ever seen on this forum.

Shame on the OP.  Shame.

You sure? Because I find all this prancing and fake, hypocritical political correctness even more ridiculous.

Read the book "dreaming a day" and see what these Asian birthmothers feel as they place their beautiful babies for adoption. It is heartbreaking. There is such a misconception. It is not about political correctness, it is insulting to my child's and very adoptive child's birthmother to think they are not wanted or desired. There are woman of every race who don't appreciate the children they have whether it is due to gender or not. This post just makes me sad.

jilo77:

Read the book "dreaming a day" and see what these Asian birthmothers feel as they place their beautiful babies for adoption. It is heartbreaking. There is such a misconception. It is not about political correctness, it is insulting to my child's and very adoptive child's birthmother to think they are not wanted or desired. There are woman of every race who don't appreciate the children they have whether it is due to gender or not. This post just makes me sad.

 

I know a lot about adoption and that most women are heartbroken when they give their babies up for adoption - no matter what gender they have. I understand that is makes you sad to think that the OP might think that your first child was not loved by his birthmother. But she didn't say that or did she? She was not talking about adoptive children at all. I also know that many women who abort female fetues grieve their loss for the rest of their lives. These women are also victims because their male dominated society bullies them into aborting a child they might already love very much. And this brings me to the part that makes me angry: Downplaying the fact that there are millions of girls being aborted in order to stay politically correct. Gendercide exists and some people on this board should really open their eyes and acknowlegde that.

 

Futagono:

jilo77:

Read the book "dreaming a day" and see what these Asian birthmothers feel as they place their beautiful babies for adoption. It is heartbreaking. There is such a misconception. It is not about political correctness, it is insulting to my child's and very adoptive child's birthmother to think they are not wanted or desired. There are woman of every race who don't appreciate the children they have whether it is due to gender or not. This post just makes me sad.

 

I know a lot about adoption and that most women are heartbroken when they give their babies up for adoption - no matter what gender they have. I understand that is makes you sad to think that the OP might think that your first child was not loved by his birthmother. But she didn't say that or did she? She was not talking about adoptive children at all. I also know that many women who abort female fetues grieve their loss for the rest of their lives. These women are also victims because their male dominated society bullies them into aborting a child they might already love very much. And this brings me to the part that makes me angry: Downplaying the fact that there are millions of girls being aborted in order to stay politically correct. Gendercide exists and some people on this board should really open their eyes and acknowlegde that.

 

She didn't say anything directly about adoption or abortionbut about how seeing her Asian neghbor with daughters infuriates her since she is assuming the mother doesn't love her daughters as much since they are girls and Asian society states girls are less desired. While that maybe true no one can assume how any mother feels about her daughter. I agree that gendercide is wrong. But I don't agree with walking around and thinking every Asian and Indian mother doesn't value their daughters. Maybe these mothers are bringing their daughters up here cause they value them so much that they want to bring them up in a country where woman are treated as equals. Unless the OP is living in China or India, I think it is wrong to think ill will about someone they never met. And btw, I am one of the least PC people around.

Futagono:

cowbell:

Yes, if we are talking about women native to their countries. But I'm assuming that the Indian and Asian women that she sees that "makes her want to scream" are in this country (like her neighbor for instance). They are Americans. Some still identify with their homeland's cultures but a great majority do not. They are as American as you and I in our gender preferences. For this reason, I don't think it is right to group an entire race like that. I understand wanting to vent, but I found it offensive.

I dont think the OP sees an Asian American woman with a daugther and thinks: "Oh, ALL Asian American women prefer sons." The Asian Americans just remind her of what is going on in countries like China, Pakistan and India (which cannot be denied when you look at the sex ratio). And this is a Gender Disappointment forum. There are lots of offensive things on here. Do you find venting about "dirty boys" and "pink girls" less offensive?

my2boyswantasister:

This is the most ignorant, racist, ridiculous post that I think I have ever seen on this forum.

Shame on the OP.  Shame.

You sure? Because I find all this prancing and fake, hypocritical political correctness even more ridiculous.

Why do you talk about being PC as being a bad thing? Is it better that I spew blatantly racist bullsh*t then appear to be too "uptight"?? Maybe that's what the cool kids do. And no, I don't find pink girls offensive. And I've seen PLENTY of women come to the defense of their DG or family make-up in those cases. Plenty. Last I checked this was GD forum...so that's expected....obviously. Sorry but you really need to re-read the OP without making assumptions of what is going on inside her head. In fact, she contradicts everything you said by saying that they are "willing to kill their daughters". How in the world is saying something like that about ALL Asian and Indian women not offensive? Luckily we have you to translate what she REALLY meant. Whatever, I'm done with this. OP if you are reading this. I am really sorry that you had a bad day. This is not directed to you because already apologized for your generalizations. Unfortunately some people are still willing to uphold the the statements in your original post as A-okay.. even if you yourself don't. ::head desk::