New pregnancy after Nov 2011 stillbirth

NoWeanieOnMyNextBeanie:

For what its worth I thought you were having a boy by the video.  Also, am I the only one here that knows that amnio results DO NOT come back with genetic or chromosone abnormalities in one day ????  I have been a member of several fertility boards as well as other pregnancy forums and not once has any women come back with these amnio results so soon . Or gender at that !  I feel really sorry for your baby . 

 

Preliminary results can be available in as little as 24 hours. This is known as FISH i believe: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=438&np=459&id=2765#7

Given the circumstances I would imagine her consultant would push for early results.

nurse2009:

JoannaK:

 

xxo

 

PS, irony of everything, the bub is a boy! lol. so I've had about 35 people look at my 12 week scan and say girl, so there you have it. I actually feel slightly "better" knowing he's a boy, because even if I was told the gender of the baby had nothing to do with it, if the bub had been a girl, I know I would forever be terrified of trying for a girl again and getting the same outcome

 

 

You feel better it is a BOY? Because it is easier to murder a baby boy because it is not what you wanted? You do not think the baby will suffer when they pull it out of you limb by limb? I guessed boy from your video as well, it seems people on this forum like to tell people what they want to hear. I am glad this is so funny that is brings you to laugh out loud but it disgusts me. Your poor baby. I will pray for him. No I have no compassion for baby killers, none at all.

Look, I am always the first one to rant when I see someone wanting to abort because of gender, but that is NOT what is going on here!! The "lol" may be her way of coping with something truly awful, I seriously doubt she would laugh about her child dying. Her girl reference seems to be about a worry she would have in the future that the condition was somehow linked to her girl fetuses (even if she was told it wasn't) and having to go through the same awful thing again. The relief is from knowing the condition is not genetic but spontaneous, and since she has 3 healthy boys at home it is proof it was a "fluke" (for lack of a better term). I've had 4 miscarriages and I cannot imagine having to make a decision like this, I know it must be gutwrenching. My heart is breaking for Joanna, and you know what? I would prob make the same decision as she. With one of my losses I found out the baby had passed around 8 weeks, and I decided against a D&C and wanted to wait for it to happen naturally. A week went by, two weeks... nothing. My body would not miscarry the baby. I was full of grief and mourned the baby, and at the same time just wanted it out of my body. I remember crying to my best friends about having a "dead baby" inside of me, it was (sorry to say) a repulsive feeling. My doc then told me I was at risk of hemmoraging and infection if I continued to wait, so I had a D&C. Don't regret it at ALL! I know an 8 week fetus is different than a 20 week one, but the bottom line is this poor baby won't survive. No chance. We see a snapshot of Joanna on this thread but we don't see the tears and agony she is truly going through. In a situation like this we have NO right to judge her decision. And how awful to say to her that they will "tear her baby limb from limb"!! Awful and untrue!! Everyone I know that needs to have their baby delivered early (in the 2nd and 3rd tri) are induced and deliver the baby like any other baby would be delivered. Please show some kindness and compassion, and give her some credit that she would not do anything to intentionally harm her baby.

JoannaK:

PS, irony of everything, the bub is a boy! lol. so I've had about 35 people look at my 12 week scan and say girl, so there you have it. I actually feel slightly "better" knowing he's a boy, because even if I was told the gender of the baby had nothing to do with it, if the bub had been a girl, I know I would forever be terrified of trying for a girl again and getting the same outcome

I understand what you meant by this, even if nurse 2009 had to get on her pro-life soap box. My best friend lost a baby girl at 32 weeks after carrying a healthy boy. She fell pregnant soon after with another baby girl. She convinced herself she couldn't carry girls and was an emotional wreck for the whole pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong. I am glad for you that the problem is not genetic and you can try again should you wish to. My thoughts and sympathies to you for what you will have to go through next. I hope you can find the strength to cope. Best of luck for the future too, whatever you decide to do regarding trying for another baby. You story has touched me and I feel terribly sorry for you and your little boy who has no chance of life.

JoannaK:

PS, irony of everything, the bub is a boy! lol. so I've had about 35 people look at my 12 week scan and say girl, so there you have it. I actually feel slightly "better" knowing he's a boy, because even if I was told the gender of the baby had nothing to do with it, if the bub had been a girl, I know I would forever be terrified of trying for a girl again and getting the same outcome

I understand what you meant by this, even if nurse 2009 had to get on her pro-life soap box. My best friend lost a baby girl at 32 weeks after carrying a healthy boy. She fell pregnant soon after with another baby girl. She convinced herself she couldn't carry girls and was an emotional wreck for the whole pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong. I am glad for you that the problem is not genetic and you can try again should you wish to. My thoughts and sympathies to you for what you will have to go through next. I hope you can find the strength to cope. Best of luck for the future too, whatever you decide to do regarding trying for another baby. You story has touched me and I feel terribly sorry for you and your little boy who has no chance of life.

The results of the FISH test are 24 hours and can be done both on a CVS or amnio. Got one done myself and had the results the next morning.

Joanna - I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. No one have the right to tell you what is right or wrong. No one loves that sweet baby boy more than you. A good friend of mine went through something similar. She just had her baby angel the day before Halloween. This is her blog : http://kelli-annwhite.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-06%3A00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-06%3A00&max-results=46 Sending you lots of gentle hugs. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I, like saggrl11 also had a "missed abortion" but at 14 weeks and chose to have a D&C, it broke my heart and I can not say for sure what I would do had the baby had a heartbeat. It was my first pregnancy and we actively tried for 1.5 years to get there and it took another year to get pregnant again. I am an OB nurse and have helped deliver 18-20 week fetuses on my floor where I work. We probably see 6 per month. The babies at this stage ARE NOT ripped limb by limb. The mother is induced and the baby usually does not take even 1 breath. I've worked at a regional hospital for 11 years and only had 3 born with a heartbeat. We treat all these special babies with all the respect of a still born or live birth baby. As long as this is done in hospital, under the loving guidance of your OB/GYN, with RNs and NOT at an abortion clinic (PLEASE.. horrible things do happen at those places), this should be done with utmost respect and care for you, Joanna and your baby. We do not call this abortion. It is not abortion. I would not be able to help with that and still sleep at night. I have witnessed 1 occasion in which the parents chose to carry to term. She was anencephalic and baby lived and died after 2 hours of being held by parents and big brother. They were a remarkably strong family and knew full well that baby would die. The other "choice" babies had Downs. I do not include those babies here as I don't consider that to be a debilitating condition and of course they usually make it. I'm only writing about the babies with multiple problems found at the 20 week u/s. What I do know is that it is not our place to judge anybody in this life for their decisions, especially for one of this magnatude. This was a wanted pregnancy and if it weren't for the abnormalities, there is no way Joanna would be talking about terminating due to the sex! I hope the kind words of strangers help you on this path, Joanna. Please do not take to heart the judgers opinions of this world. It's a hard decision you have and it's yours to make. I hope you have a strong mind, and a strong and supportive family to help you through this. I'm so glad you have your boys to hug... Trish from Canada.

Joanna, I'm so sorry to hear about the results of your scan. I have been thinking about you and wondering what your sweet little bub was going to be! I thought you were so sweet always asking about my scan and wondering what I was having and I could never imagine hearing the news you have had to hear. I think you are such a strong woman for being as kind as you are after reading some of the ridiculous posts by some of the women on here . . . especially the one calling you a baby killer. Those people have no idea what they would do in a situation like yours and need to stop being judgmental. Or heck, just don't say anything at all if you can't say anything nice at all! I don't get on here very often because of the stupid monkey's but I love to keep up with you because you seem like such a wonderful and strong woman. I don't know if you have Facebook or not . . . but I'm going to leave my email address here and if you'd like to get in touch with me, I'd love to hear from you. You've been an inspiration and are honestly just such a kind woman I hate that you are having to go through something as devastating as this. I'm not asking for your email because I can imagine the hate mail you could possibly receive . . . but mine is Rachel.Pipes@gmail.com if you'd like to stay in touch via Facebook or even email alone. My husband and I are keeping you in our prayers every night and again. I also will leave you with my favorite quote from Washington Irving: "There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." XOXO

I, like saggrl11 also had a "missed abortion" but at 14 weeks and chose to have a D&C, it broke my heart and I can not say for sure what I would do had the baby had a heartbeat, but multiple deformities that would mean he would not live. It was my first pregnancy and we actively tried for 1.5 years to get there and it took another year to get pregnant again. I am an OB nurse and have helped deliver 18-20 week fetuses on my floor where I work. We probably see 6 per month. The babies at this stage ARE NOT ripped limb by limb. The mother is induced and the baby usually does not take even 1 breath. I've worked at a regional hospital for 11 years and only had 3 born with a heartbeat. We treat all these special babies with all the respect of a still born or live birth baby. As long as this is done in hospital, under the loving guidance of your OB/GYN, with RNs and NOT at an abortion clinic (PLEASE.. horrible things do happen at those places), this should be done with utmost respect and care for you, Joanna and your baby. We do not call this abortion. It is not abortion. I would not be able to help with that and still sleep at night. I have witnessed 1 occasion in which the parents chose to carry to term. She was anencephalic and baby lived and died after 2 hours of being held by parents and big brother. They were a remarkably strong family and knew full well that baby would die. The other "choice" babies had Downs. I do not include those babies here as I don't consider that to be a debilitating condition and of course they usually make it. I'm only writing about the babies with multiple problems found at the 20 week u/s. What I do know is that it is not our place to judge anybody in this life for their decisions, especially for one of this magnatude. This was a wanted pregnancy and if it weren't for the abnormalities, there is no way Joanna would be talking about terminating due to the sex! I hope the kind words of strangers help you on this path, Joanna. Please do not take to heart the judgers opinions of this world. It's a hard decision you have and it's yours to make. I hope you have a strong mind, and a strong and supportive family to help you through this. I'm so glad you have your boys to hug... Trish from Canada.

nurse2009 I think if you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all Joanna has come on here for support not to be moaned at by you its the last thing she Joanna needs.

nurse2009:

JoannaK:

xxo

 

PS, irony of everything, the bub is a boy! lol. so I've had about 35 people look at my 12 week scan and say girl, so there you have it. I actually feel slightly "better" knowing he's a boy, because even if I was told the gender of the baby had nothing to do with it, if the bub had been a girl, I know I would forever be terrified of trying for a girl again and getting the same outcome

 

 

You feel better it is a BOY? Because it is easier to murder a baby boy because it is not what you wanted? You do not think the baby will suffer when they pull it out of you limb by limb? I guessed boy from your video as well, it seems people on this forum like to tell people what they want to hear. I am glad this is so funny that is brings you to laugh out loud but it disgusts me. Your poor baby. I will pray for him. No I have no compassion for baby killers, none at all.

This is disgusting. How dare you. And to be so callous as to refer to the baby suffering, being pulled out limb by limb. How downright insensitive. I think it is clear from the responses on this thread, you are not welcome So sod off. (and if I get reported for this post, so be it. I had to say it) Joanna - sending u all the love and strength in the world sweetheart xxxxxxxxx

I completely agree with hannah232008... Nurse2009, this is not a prolife discussion and your comment is awful. JoannaK, I am sending you some positive vibes to get you through this. Take a good care of yourself!

:( Oh Joanna, I am so devastated to read your sad news and your difficult decision. Much love and SUPPORT to you as you go through this.

Joanna I'm so sorry to hear about your results! I was hoping that they made a mistake and everything would be ok! You are such strong brave women! If I was in your situation I don't think I would be able to handle it as well as you have, especially with some of the nasty remarks on here! All my thoughts and prays go out to you and your family. Take care and please keep us all updated! HUGS all the way from Seattle, Wa! :) Tina

This is Joannas mum again. I feel really sorry for you. I feel sorry and quite disgusted that you felt the need to say that. The reason people are saying what they are saying to Joanna is because they are compassionate, kind, caring people, who genuinely care about Joannas feelings and are trying to help her through what is an incredibly difficult and life changing situation. I actually feel very very sorry for your children, having a mother who feels she can intentionally set out to be cruel and hurt other people just because she has her own agenda. I'm not sure what you don't understand about this pregnancy. This child has no chance of life. The crucial part of the brain is missing. I'm not even going to try with you, you are cruel. I only pray that your latest message isn't the undoing of JOanna when she reads it, she has been so brave and I have been so proud of her. At least you can feel happy now, knowing that you have done what you've set out to do.

 Joanna, I have read your thread and I am so sorry to see a lovely lady go through this terrible time...Massive sympathy to you..Hoping you get through this and move on to better times with your family.

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Freaky 'nurse' (how ironic) lady...You obviously need your head examined, back off, butt out, I stick a royal finger up at your hideous attitude towards a loving caring mother. Hope you're ashamed of yourself..vile person of whatever you may be...

Sorry all..love xx