Moms of ADHD kids chime in please....

 My 4.5 year old son is challanging!  He was pretty much a normal, although wild and super talkative, kid up until about age 2.5.  His sister was born and mommy and daddy did a lot of unrelated fighting.  Daddy went on a few trips and mommy was home on maternity leave then back to work.  I think it was a confusing and unsettling time for him.

Around 3.5 years I thought he was soooo ready for preschool.  He was still pretty wild and always on the go but I just thought he was a busy boy.  Well, he started preschool and it was a nightmare. Granted, the school had no structure- just 1.5 hours of free play with kids and running and screaming and bouncing from one activity to the next.  The first year of preschool was a very hard year.  My son was kicking, hitting, knocking other kids blocks down, not sitting still, throwing sand and toys, and generally being wild and out of control.  The school was very paitient with him but I knew it wasn't the best fit.

 At home he does many of the same behaviors but I am very stict and tend to ride him a little.  However, he will throw toys, hurt his little sister for no reason, run around yelling, flail his arms around, spin in circles, yell, and be very over emotional.  He can also be sweet and loving.  He is super smart and is capable of sitting still and having really good behavior.  He has been to Cirque Du Soleil and did very good through the whole show.

He loves other kids and wants everyone to play with him and be his friend.  But then without warning he will hit or disrupt their toys or be too rough.  He has very poor impulse control.

Well, this year we tried another preschool and after one day they said he was hitting the whole time and that if he hits again he is out.   Although it sounds like it, he is not a bully or aggresive.  He doesn't do any of these things to be mean or cause harm- just very poor impulse control- we think.

What do you all think?  I have spent so many nights up crying over his bad behavior.  He is sooo smart and loving and creative and musical and imaginative.  He can have a great day- or a very terrible one.  Why does he have to act this way?

 Sorry my post was so long.  I am really just sick about this whole thing!

sorry i had a very long post written and monkeys ate it

I am very sorry you are going through this, my son is 6yrs and has ADHD with possibility of dyslexia. I seeked medical help to assess him and i am attending parent support group to help me understand better. I read a couple of books and i had to change my attitude towards him. These children need alot of love and patience, you have to understand its not his fault he is acting this way and by shouting at him or hitting him you may only make his feel worse. Sometimes they act this way to seek attention and all they need is some TLC and praise, it works wonders with my son. But he never hurt anyone on purpose, he usually throws a tantrum. They need mostly 9hrs of sleep during the night. Behaviour charts work very well with frequent rewards. Its not easy believe me my husband was in denial at first and i went through the assessments alone but i was willing to help my son no matter what.

Monkeys ate mine, too,....but here's the jist -- recommending these two books.  Love & Logic is very practical - love it for that while Conscious Discipline (Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline) is based on brain research and has great language for you to use with your little guy to teach him alternative ways to express frustration, get what he wants w/o hurting others, etc.

 Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation

I tried to link these up for you w/ amazon...but it errors when I do.  Sorry.  You'll just have to cut and paste in Amazon's search box.

 Well- he had a GREAT second day at this new preschool.  He was absolutely perfect.  What a relief!  Now I just hope the next day goes well.....

Just made a referral to a childrens services program.

brooks5130:

 Well- he had a GREAT second day at this new preschool.  He was absolutely perfect.  What a relief!  Now I just hope the next day goes well.....

 

Just made a referral to a childrens services program.

Hi, my son was diagnosed with ADHD in Kindergarten. A big indicator of ADHD is that not only are they antsy and have to constantly be moving, but they are easily distracted and can't focus on a task at hand if it is uninteresting to them (i.e., TV, video game, cirque de soleil will capture their attention just fine). Also, it needs to be consistent in different environments. You'll receive surveys by the person diagnosing him for you, his teacher, his daycare attendant, etc. If he only has these issues in one place, it's probably not ADHD. Since it's uncontrollable, it will happen no matter where he is or who he's with.

If you do find out it's ADHD and move into the medication phase, I highly recommend Intuniv (blood-pressure lowering medication) along with a stimulant (we're currently using Adderall). The Intuniv makes kids gain weight and become sleepy. The stimulant makes them lose weight and lose sleep. The two blended together dis-count each other and you are left with a well-behaved, focused child with barely any side effects. Good luck!

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