Dear pecafish: I am not sure if it is EGD or PPD or a combination of them? I know that when I was going through PPD with DS#1 - I had NO idea what I was feeling or doing - literally I was in a fog. I was on meds for 1 year and it helped keep me neutral - I wasn't happy or sad I just "was". To have PPD and GD - is much more serious in my opinion. Not sure if you read one of posts - but EVERYONE on my hubby's side are doctors...and even they weren't sympathetic to my PPD let alone my GD (not that I told them anything). I just really trusted my doctor and got myself through it. I am hoping the same thing happens with my GD.
Have you spoken with anyone yet? Please do if you haven't. Trust me when I tell you that it will help you feel sane for those few moments of a day and then as time goes by - your feeling of sadness will slowly diminish.....
You are not letting your boys down.....you are just being a human and a mother all at the same time. It is TOUGH!!! And anyone who tells you otherwise - well they aren't not being honest. Being a mom, wife, cook, cleaner, provider, etc. - is a tall order and right you now you are doing your BEST! And you should be proud of that. HUGS
2009, Arrived 5 weeks early in Jan '12.
My hopes for a girl have ended - will live and learn through my boys