what a hard weekend

Hi Ladies,

I have to vent about my weekend. Well i had to go buy a little girl outfit this weekend and it was very hard to be in that department. My friend brought this beautiful little four week old to my house and it was so hard to hold her. Not only was she cute but she was a good baby. Im so happy for my friend but its so hard to feel so jealous. Im afraid this will never be me. I will never be able to buy dolls and cute little outfits. My husband says lets try again but when ever i think about that ultrasound visit i feel like im going to have a panic attack. I love my boys but i dont know if i could handle three. My youngest is so hard. So every month i keep chickening out.

Also i need some advise. A family member of mine has been trying to get pg for years she just got pregnant and had a miscarriage shortly after. I would feel soooooo guilty having a baby right now even thou i have been thinking of trying for a girl for a long time. What should i do. Should i wait for her to get pregnant before i try. But what if it takes her a long time. My youngest is turning 3 and i really do not want to wait too long. The thought of me getting pregnant and not her makes me sick  i would feel horrible she watched me go thru two pg . aaahhh my brain hurts lately. Alot going on up there. Thanks ladies for listening. Talk to you soon.

I hope that you get that healthy little girl you so desire.  As far as getting pregnant after your friend had a MS...  You need to get pg when you planed too.  I am sure if you asked her she would want you to try.  Especially if you want your children to be closer in age.  If it was me and my friend, I would want her to get pregnant and not worry about me.  There is nothing you can do except encourage her and help her to dream of the baby she will one day get pregnant with and have.  I went through this with my aunt who had three MS and then I got pregnant...  She was so happy for me that I did not have to go through what she went through....  She now has 2 healthy children.. 1 & 2 years old. 

I don't think you should wait for your family member to get pregnant before you try again.  You have your own (immediate) family now, and though you love and care for your other family members, you have to do what's right, in your eyes, for your personal family.  Provide that family member with the support and encouragement she may need, going above and beyond that is not necessary.

Good luck and keep thinking PINK thoughts!

That's very sweet of you to think of your family member struggling with infertility. But like pp have said, you can't put your own life on hold for hers. I'm sure if you decide to try again and get pregnant before her you'll be the sort of person who is very considerate with such a delicate situation. I'm sure she'll be jealous and possibly feel quite badly about it, but you have to do what feels best for your family.

I didn't really think about my fear of having a third boy while we were TTC, but around 8 weeks or so it really started hitting me, and I too would get into a total panic just thinking of the ultrasound. I would spend hours imaginging the two possible outcomes and how I would react and how I would feel afterwards. I did Acu-Gen knowing they might be wrong, but couldn't help myself - I wanted some kind of answer one way or the other so I could prepare myself, in some ways I was really hoping they'd say "boy" just so I could convince myself of it even though deep down I knew they could be wrong. We made a whole trip to have an early u/s done at 15 weeks, and the night before in our hotel room I was lying awake for hours thinking about it, thinking I might even have a panic attack lol.

After all that worrying, it was a girl after all (which I am still having a hard time actually believing lol - can't wait for my regular u/s in 2 weeks so we can make sure!) I can only hope everyone gets the outcome they're hoping for, but of course that's not going to happen. But you never know - you might be worrying for nothing, and there might be a little girl just waiting to join your family whenever you're ready to try. Or another little boy you'll grow to love and wonder how you ever lived without. But you'll never know if you don't try! =) Lots of luck with whatever you decide!

Thank you everyone for the great advise. Congratulations on your new little girl. I hope that will be me someday. Can you tell me if you tried anything different with this pg. Anything to sway the odds.

Thanks again I will keep you posted.

For me, as far as swaying, we actually did swaying methods for the first 3 cycles we tried (I was taking 1200mg vitex from AF to O, 2000mg cranberry from AF to O, 1000mg calcium/500mg magnesium entire cycle, loosely following the girl diet by cutting out excess salt and caffeine and eating tons of yogurt and drinking lots of milk. We decided not to do any cut-offs, we BD straight through O, but missionary position and no big O for me.) So after 3 cycles of BFNs and my cycles seemed to be getting very screwed up from the vitex (later and later Os, symptoms of low estrogen, etc) plus I was getting impatient lol =) I stopped all of it that 4th cycle except for the cal/mag and I started drinking FertiliTea which has just a little vitex in it - we didn't get to BD as much that cycle because DH's grandma passed away and he was out of town, but miraculously I O'd later than ever before - a whole week late - and he returned the night before I O'd, so we had a 3 day break after our last BD, then BD the night before O, the night of O, and the morning after - we even used preseed the night before O and instead cups all times (both of which supposedly favor boys) and I had more EWCM than ever in my life lol, but the pH was still pretty low (usually 5.0 with a few streaks of 6.0) so I guess all those supplements were still in my system!

Not sure if all that really played a big role, or if we just got what we were meant to get, but it didn't hurt! =)

Thank you all so much for your input. I know I want to have another one but just trying to decide when to try. Im now thinking maybe Nov or Dec to try for a Aug or Sept baby. " In a perfect world right?" My oldest will start school and my youngest will start preschool. Can the ladies with more than two boys tell me if it is a big difference going from two to three boys. I have to prepare myself for wanting another baby and not just a daughter. Because you all know there is no 100% guarantee. I just will hate the way other people will judge me because i feel like they will all say oh poor thing she really wanted a daughter. Financially  I really cant see us having more than three our house is small so i feel  like this is it my last chance. Thanks everyone.