in-laws

 H, just wondering if anyone has advice?  I need to get over my GD, I am not really disappointed but my husband and his family are.  We have 4 awesome girls, they are my whole world, if I had 4 boys they would be my whole world.  My husband loves the girls but his dream of a boy is gone.  I am 38 and can't handle more than 4 kids (any gender) I am sad for my husband, his family (mom & dad) is anti-girl for some reason, they had 3 boys and so far 5 grand-daughters.  Does anyone have any encouraging words or comments for what to say when the comments about wanting a son (for my husband) or wanting a grandson (for my in-laws) I just don't know what to say that would not be spitefull and contentious.  Thanks for your help 

I don't know about your relationship with your inlaws, but why not be honest?  Why not just tell them you had really hoped out of 4 kids that at least one of them would be a boy, but life isn't about getting what you want, it's about being happy with what you have.. (Sheryl Crowe has a song about this... "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got...").  I did this with my family - they all know how much I wanted my third to be a girl, but he wasn't.  And they know i was sad and disappointed about that and that they would never dare make any kind of obnoxious comments to me about it.  The other thing - when I get overly defensive about my boys and say (lying), "oh I love having boys. would never want a girl" that can upset moms of girls because they think what's wrong with girls? So I found, for me, what is best is HONESTY.  Just my two cents, though..

I totally ditto love2run! Tell you husband privately that you already feel bad enough for him and understand he is disapointed but see if you can do anything to help him through. Maybe he will realize his comments have been hurtful. Its a doube edge sword for me writing that because there are so many women here including myself who are feeling HIS feelings...however, you being pregnant don't need to added stress and sadness.

As for your inlaws well they just don't get to have an opinion or they can go have another boy themselves. Parents who raise a child day in and day out get to haveopinions because it's THEIR child...but grandparents don't get to in my opinion especially ones who are anti- any gender! Now they may be hopinh for one or another but should be supportive either way. afterall you are giving them the baby they would otherwise be without. I wouldbe honest with your inlaws and husband and tell them all you understand why HE my be disapointed but it's really hurtful coming from them. Good luck and congrats on your new little girl!

In my relationship with my in-laws ,what bothers me, is our resemblance to them: they have 3 sons (one of which is my DH) and we have 3 sons. In-laws do not dare to make any comment about us having only boys; they probably know how it feels.  However I am fed up with the comments of the rest of the family: wow 3 sons! Exactly like your in-laws! And we are always compared, as if my in-laws patented the 3-son-type-family. I really do not feel like meeting my husband's family because of this stupid reason as I hate having my MIL as model. She managed very well with her 3 sons; she looks gorgeous at her 60 y/o., things I am planning to reach as well one day.  But I just don't want to be compared at any stage of my life with my MIL and each of my kid with her kids. I always believed I was unique in a way and never wanted to be compared to anybody. Any jokes to tell those that hurt my "unique" feelings? :-)

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I am quite close with my inlaws so I know they really wanted a grandaughter as the whole family had no granddaughters in 23 years to that point....it was hard to see my fil struggle to accept that he would never have his grandaughter after never having his daughter he wanted...when my neice was born he was entralled with her...nothing else mattered....on top of my smug sil thier stereo typical comments and over joyess excitement over there first grandaughter while I kept popping out boys was hard to deal with...my only thing I did was to love my guys for all the love they didnt get from thier g-parents I loved them more....I was pro boy around them so they stopped being so pro girl....I guess I was the team blue cheerleader for a very long time!!!

We havent had a boy on my side of the family (or our extended family) for 22 years. My wife is one of three girls with all girl cousins too. We are up to 7 granddaughters now with our first child (a girl) due in June. Can you imagine how much more excited this whole crew would be if we could have finally broken the chain? It has been rough, and I have been stuck in GD rut since Feb.

The day of the ultrasound, my MIL called and said, "I cant wait to see pictures of baby Jensen (the boy name we had picked)!" When I replied that I thought it would probably be a girl she said, "hold your tongue! Dont talk like that!"

 All this time I've been thinking how AMAZING it would have been and how excited everyone would have been. We'll have to get them all pumped up in a few years when we try to adopt! (And maybe they'll all pitch in!!!)