I have a daughter and a son, 5 years apart.

 In those 5 years I had to sometimes defend all-girls' mom's position (like my mom's - there is a saying"guilty of being a girl's mom"....and yes, there still is something like 'dowry' in my country, even though it's not mandatory, which I consider as a sign of underdeveloped culture) and dealt with thoughtless comments about not having a son. (For example: "Are you not going to try again?" " You will regret not having a son when you are older" "Is your husband okay with not havng somebody to carry the family name?" etc.)

 Now that I have a son, and am done conveniently with two kids, I still find myself being furious at such comments that my close friend(mom of two girls only) gets. My old-fashioned MIL now openly throws discriminative comments, adding"as you too have a boy, you understand that your husband means a lot more to me and that you have to financially support our retirement...you will be repaid by your son in the future" which makes me doubly furious! I always snap and talk back. Are you still very keen about such things?

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Myloves:

yet people (especially my MIL and FIL) around me behave as though having sons is the best thing since sliced bread lol. 

Thanks for the response. I know what that's like, but kinda feel relieved finally to make peace with in-laws too. Glad to know I am not over-reacting! The sad fact is, most boy moms(i.e. who had boy first even if they too have girls-and they are "proud" too) around me comment that I am too defensive! Maybe it's the culture.

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I never ever hear anti-girl remarks. I am the only person in my family or extended family having boys. I hear tons of anti-boy remarks so I have never had to defend girl things. I grew up hearing anti-boy remarks and anti-men remarks and even my own grandmother, 84 yrs old, looked at my boys recently and commented on "that defective Y chromosome." Needless to say, I am not looking forward to seeing her again. Her lips have gotten too loose with age. The women in our family usually earn more than the men and do quite well in life. No one would ever even think to suggest that a son will take care of me in retirement. If anything, they will suggest that when a son marries, he is gone and will spend all his time with her parents. His children will be closer to her parents. But, a daughter is a daughter for good.

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Do you feel more like a "girl's mom" even after you had a son later?

yes

MyWishCameTrue:

I wanted to ask you, where you live, do you see first hand experience of parents favouring their sons over their daughters? I see it alot where I live and it makes me really upset for their children. My DD is just as specail as my DSs and I plan to show all my children that I love them the same. And I should probably go now, because my sweetheart has woken up and is crying for her feeds!  

Btw, sorry I took so long to write back! I'm really getting sick of the monkeys on this website.

Sorry it took me longer! Monkeys sent me to favor FB group. Oh well...

Yes, a lot of older parents(like my in-laws) still do, and even some young ones, although not as bad as what I heard as a little girl. Not that my parents were like that, my parents were women's right activist, ..but my mom got a lot of nasty comments from neighbors, relatives...etc.

MyWishCameTrue:

I wanted to ask you, where you live, do you see first hand experience of parents favouring their sons over their daughters? I see it alot where I live and it makes me really upset for their children. My DD is just as specail as my DSs and I plan to show all my children that I love them the same. And I should probably go now, because my sweetheart has woken up and is crying for her feeds!  

Btw, sorry I took so long to write back! I'm really getting sick of the monkeys on this website.

Sorry it took me longer! Monkeys sent me to favor FB group. Oh well...

Yes, a lot of older parents(like my in-laws) still do, and even some young ones, although not as bad as what I heard as a little girl. Not that my parents were like that, my parents were women's right activist, ..but my mom got a lot of nasty comments from neighbors, relatives...etc.

MyWishCameTrue:

I wanted to ask you, where you live, do you see first hand experience of parents favouring their sons over their daughters? I see it alot where I live and it makes me really upset for their children. My DD is just as specail as my DSs and I plan to show all my children that I love them the same. And I should probably go now, because my sweetheart has woken up and is crying for her feeds!  

Btw, sorry I took so long to write back! I'm really getting sick of the monkeys on this website.

Sorry it took me longer! Monkeys sent me to favor FB group. Oh well...

Yes, a lot of older parents(like my in-laws) still do, and even some young ones, although not as bad as what I heard as a little girl. Not that my parents were like that, my parents were women's right activist, ..but my mom got a lot of nasty comments from neighbors, relatives...etc.

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MyWishCameTrue:

Catalina, do you go on the other website? PL or GD? Wish we could talk over there!

Oui! I will PM you!

MyWishCameTrue:

Catalina, do you go on the other website? PL or GD? Wish we could talk over there!

oh gosh...I don't have a gold membership and they banned PM-ing for non-gold..

Are you on other site? Feel free to email me at drtherese@empal.com :-)

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