Due in May 2011 chatter.....

I hope you ladies are doing well today.

I am really struggling. I hate the rollercoaster GD sends you on. I love feeling my little baby's kicks but at the same time I feel so disconnected from her. It's really so hard. I feel guilty, too. It's like I don't understand my own thoughts. I wish I were stronger, and I wish gender didn't matter so much - why can I logically understand that my baby and child will be wonderful and loved, and that I will be a good mother to her... yet still feel all these feelings :( It's very hard.

Oh Skrimpy I'm so sorry it's hard isn't it and the pregnancy hormones make it SO much worse. With DS2 I chose his name, prepared his room, sorted bedding, that sort of thing. Having a name for bump and referring to him by his name, rather than "bump" or "baby boy" really helped, as I began to see him as a person, not a baby that was stopping me getting my DG. I also did the nursery out in pastels, yellow, and that helped too as blue would have made it all feel worse. Can you name her? and refer to her by her name? little steps hon....xx

Lynette you are so wonderful! Your words are always so comforting to me.

We do have a name picked out and I really love it - I mean I REALLY do! Her first name will start with an H. We always keep it a secret until the birth, just between DH and I... but you are right, I should start thinking about her by her name. With DS3 DH and I started calling him by name when we were in private right away. I have hesitated to call this little one by her name because it makes it so final... but I want to accept and love her, so I think I will start referring to her by name.

I don't get to decorate a nursery as our bubs are always in our room until they move in with a sibling... but I do love to sew and I will sew a large part of her wardrobe. I'm finishing up a couple of projects right now and should be able to go shopping for fabrics in Feb. Like you, I like the idea of using gentle pastels. I have been thinking I will do some layette gowns and kimonos in white and trimmed with perwinkle blue, which I think can look good for either gender and will have a soft feminine look for a baby girl... without being really GIRLY, lol. I am planning to make her some little dresses in lavenders and yellows, and maybe some simple floral prints. It makes me happy to think that I can make her sweet clothes that aren't all "girly girl." DH keeps reminding me I can dress her however I wish and that even if people buy frilly pink I don't have to go with that. I would rather use simple pastels and basic little dresses.

I also used some hypnobirthing tracks to help prepare for DS3 and I will start using those again in a couple of weeks - I felt I was really able to bond with him during those so I'm hoping it will help with this little lady, too. And DH and I will do our childbirth refresher (we use the Pink Kit) together soon which will hopefully help me start to get excited about the birth.

It's just so hard, the ups and downs. One day I feel wonderful and then the next... so sad. DH has even told me we can try for one more baby after this to even us out (to six little ones), and that we can sway for a boy. But to me I feel like I *should* enjoy this pregnancy and be glad for my little lady I am pregnant with now - otherwise I will feel guilty for having a happy pregnancy "next time" if it is a boy. I feel like if I enjoyed my other pregnancies I should enjoy this one, and be happy for her and because she is coming. I hope the good days will begin to outnumber the bad, and I hope I will fall head over heels in love with her.

Hey Skrimpy Sweetheart - I'm glad it helped a little It's great you have a name that you love...so do that,,,call her by her name! You have a great idea about the fabrics and the dresses. You know, I know a girl who was pregnant and wanted a boy. She was desperate for a little boy. When it was a girl she was so upset and refused *point blank refused* to dress her in ANY PINK, so she lived in whites, lemons, greens, purples, blues. As time passed, she would let her wear a pink top but nothing pink at all for the first year. A friend told me that she just couldn't bear frilly stuff. She now has her little boy too and I guess that's helped her "accept" her first being a girl and that's why she uses the odd bit of pink. For me, that wasn't insane or daft or unusual particularly, I can understand too much pink would really get to you if you're not "particularly girlie" and that's without the hell that is GD!

skrimpy:

DH has even told me we can try for one more baby after this to even us out (to six little ones), and that we can sway for a boy. But to me I feel like I *should* enjoy this pregnancy and be glad for my little lady I am pregnant with now - otherwise I will feel guilty for having a happy pregnancy "next time" if it is a boy.

Ah it's difficult isn't it. If I had known I would have my this time 100% then my pregnancy with DS2 would have been ok!! I hated every minute of it after I knew he was a boy! As hard as it is, try and relish it. When you feel sad about her being a her....try and visualise your eldest DD with her.......think how much she will enjoy it. Your boys have their brothers and now your DD will have a sister! She will love that and this DD will be lucky enough to have 3 big brothers to take care of her AND an older sister! The boys will adore her. It's going to be hard sweetie, bound to be ups and downs......one day at a time.......maybe a 3d/4d scan would help with bonding? really to see her little face and nose? and have the tech call her by her name throughout? You will get there and have no fear....you will love her to pieces when she's here

 Doctor's office called in today and now I have to be on bed rest. She wants me to see a Perinatologist for possible low placenta found on last ultrasound. I don't know what to think...this might mean a number of things, premature birth, c-section. I am nervous now!

Schmoopy:

 Doctor's office called in today and now I have to be on bed rest. She wants me to see a Perinatologist for possible low placenta found on last ultrasound. I don't know what to think...this might mean a number of things, premature birth, c-section. I am nervous now!

Oh no!! Hon, so sorry to hear about the possible low placenta. I know a couple girls who have had c/s but none that have had premature births, if that helps? Really hope it's ok...when will you know more?x

If you have placenta previa, or even partial, you will have to have a c-section. There is no way to get around that. And, usually with previa, they do the c-section at 36 weeks to prevent hemorrhage. You should also abstain from intercourse until they know for sure. I wouldn't worry too much. When I went to my 19 week appt with a perinatologist, they were sure I had placenta accreta (where my placenta not only covered my cervix, but attached to my uterus due to my previous c -sections), so I rested for 4 weeks and when I went back for my check up, the placenta had moved. It is still very low and very close to the cervix, but it moved and I don't have to be on bed rest. FX you hear good news.

It's gone quiet again!!!! how's everyone doing? I had my appt with midwife this week and heart baby's heart beat and she checked out just fine so that's good. Am starting to feel "bigger" all over now and up to the loo lots in the night LOL. Also some mild backache. How's everyone doing/feeling?xx

Schmoopy:

 Doctor's office called in today and now I have to be on bed rest. She wants me to see a Perinatologist for possible low placenta found on last ultrasound. I don't know what to think...this might mean a number of things, premature birth, c-section. I am nervous now!

 

 

I'm dealing with the same thing right now.  I'm not on bed rest, but I'm on pelvic rest and told me to take it easy.  I go back 2 weeks from tomorrow for another U/S to see if placenta moves up.  I'm hoping and praying it does.  I'm kind of worried that it hasn't because at my 21 week U/S  the baby was laying transverse and I have been told that this can be caused by the low lying placenta and I'm pretty sure the baby is still transverse to I'm worried the placenta hasn't moved.  I REALLY do NOT want a c-section.  I know in the end that what really matters is a healthy baby, but I have had vaginal births with my previous pregnancies and even with DS#2 I went drug free.  So to have a c-section with my 3rd would really upset me.  I know many who have had c-sections and they say it isn't that bad, but I still rather not.  I guess it is the unknown that freaks me out.  Right now it is a big waiting game.

 In other news I final started to think about the baby's room.   We went this past weekend and got paint and I'm planning on going this week to order the fabric that I need.  I'm planning on making the crib skirt and curtains my self.  Wish me luck!!  I have made curtains before, but never a crib skirt.  I hope I don't mess it up!  I also moved DS#2 into DS#1 room and they are doing well sharing a room.  I ordered some stuff for their walls to decorate it for the both of them.  I have also gone through every singe peice of baby clothing my boys have ever worn.  I figured out what the new baby can use, what to give away, and what to sell.  

Hubby and I have also talked A LOT about names too.  I think we have a good list, but nothing set in set.  Right now I would say our top names are:

Mary Grace (Hubby's favorite)

Laura (Probably my favorite)

Mary Kate

Everlyn

Natalie

Genevieve 

Hope everyone is doing well!!  Can't believe it has been so long since I have been here!

hey lovemuffin sorry to hear about the placenta previa I can understand your concerns about a c-sections. I have had 2 (both emergencies, one due to fetal distress, one due to pre eclampsia) and this time I am having an elective c/s. I was offered that last time but I refused as I wanted a VBAC. It has upset me that I will not have a "normal" birth and I have felt like a failure but as my M/W said "it doesn't matter how the babies arrive, as a mother you are success, it's the health of the baby and you that is important". I hold on to that. I love your name choices too. Laura is a beautiful name and my fave from your list. How about Laura Grace? that incorporates the MN from your DH favourite? cute choices

hey lovemuffin sorry to hear about the placenta previa I can understand your concerns about a c-sections. I have had 2 (both emergencies, one due to fetal distress, one due to pre eclampsia) and this time I am having an elective c/s. I was offered that last time but I refused as I wanted a VBAC. It has upset me that I will not have a "normal" birth and I have felt like a failure but as my M/W said "it doesn't matter how the babies arrive, as a mother you are success, it's the health of the baby and you that is important". I hold on to that. I love your name choices too. Laura is a beautiful name and my fave from your list. How about Laura Grace? that incorporates the MN from your DH favourite? cute choices