Resentment for others, even though you got your DG?

Kind of an odd question here, not based in my real life but just something that crosses my mind when I think about alternate circumstances: Do you ever find yourself begrudging others what you yourself were lucky enough to receive? What I mean is, let's pretend all you ever wanted were daughters (that seems to be most common here), and you are CERTAIN you would have experienced severe GD if you got boys. And let's say you DID get only daughters--one, or perhaps two. You are over the moon and feel so lucky. Do you ever find yourself still begrudging others the same happiness (hoping they don't get daughters like they want, or being disappointed when they do get their DG girls)? It might be hard to admit to something like that, but...do you?

I don't think it's odd, was never aware about the surrounding effects of gd, until recently. I do wish everyone I knew could get their dg & enjoy the joys of that gender, but I can relate to this. I have all boys always wanted girls, most of mine & dh's family & friends are aware of of our desire to have a daughter.  There are half that are considerate of our feelings & wish we could share in their same joys of having girls.  Although there is the other half (more of dh's fam & friends than mine) that have girls & are the least considerate of our feelings & rub it in our faces that they get to enjoy having a girl(s) or are for sure they will def. have a girl(s) next & think & hope we don't/won't ever have girls. it's like they do it to feel superior & make us jealous. those are the only people I wish didn't have girls or anymore girls or ever have girls (for the ones that don't have them yet but think they will & will have that nasty attitude), only b/c of their selfish/superior attitudes or would be attitudes. so they wouldn't & couldn't make us feel bad.

DreamingInTurquoise:

Do you ever find yourself still begrudging others the same happiness (hoping they don't get daughters like they want, or being disappointed when they do get their DG girls)? It might be hard to admit to something like that, but...do you?

I've never really thought about that before.   I think that if I'd gotten what I wanted, I could be generous and happy for other people.  Like, I would have the joy of my daughters and would want others (at least the people I like!) to have that same joy.  Or maybe if my girls were driving me nuts, I would hope that other people wouldn't have daughters, even if they wanted them, to save them from the irritation!

The thing I've been wondering recently is if I'd had my dream family of two girls, would I be thinking, "I wish I'd had a boy" when I got frustrated with them?  Would I wish I could experience both genders like other people seem to do?  I think that I might have had GD in the opposite way, although it would be mild and occasional.

I think that way about my sister. I have boy boy girl boy. Her first child she wanted a girl sooo bad and got a girl. I just know she is going to have more girls, ugh. She always throws it up in my face that she got a girl on her first try

I am very embarassed to admit I feel this way regarding certain people. I feel like my dd was very hard won after years of a lurid nightmare going through one disaster of a hi tech cycle after another. I hate that I feel this way. But it is only certain people that sets off this reaction in me. Usually it is the smug assholes who were so sure they would get a girl and then do.

I appreciate you admitting that! I think it's probably pretty common actually. I think I'd feel resentful even if I already had my DG too.

 I will also fess up that I still feel that way with some people. As PP said, it's those who are so smug that they "always" get what they want. For example, there is a lady on another board I'm on who was so upset because she didn't get pregnant on her first try like she did with her son. Well, her cycle was just off because she was in fact pregnant and it was, in fact, the daughter she wanted. After that EVERY one of her posts have been about pigeon pairs and the "perfect family". (Let me reiterate that this is another board so no one read this and think it's about you!). Others have even asked her to stop writing posts about her "perfect family" but she still does. I'll (still embarassedly) admit that I wish she had a second son so I don't have to read her posts or read other people repeatedly ask her to stop.

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mykiwibaby:

When i hear that friends are pregnant, i wish and hope that they dont get a boy!!!

How mean is that!!!!!!!!

Oh man, I feel you there. That's how I am too. I don't know why I can't just wish that happiness on others, but I feel like, if I can't have my boy, they shouldn't either.

 I'm not like that when someone with girls gets a boy but I am when people get another boy and they already have all boys- even if they didnt want that. 

If someone swayed girl and gets it I say congrats but still feel sorry for them deep down.  So I guess for me I always see boys as the prize and girls as crap no matter what people have or want.  It's not something I conciously think, or that is by any means logical- it's more deeply rooted/subconcious than that and I can't really figure out why I feel and always have felt this way.

Rebel_SoccerMamma:

So I guess for me I always see boys as the prize and girls as crap no matter what people have or want.

 

 

hmm - not sure i would go as far as to say that ANY gender was "crap"

 

....

mykiwibaby:

Rebel_SoccerMamma:

So I guess for me I always see boys as the prize and girls as crap no matter what people have or want.

 

 

hmm - not sure i would go as far as to say that ANY gender was "crap"

 

  what???i hope you dont have to deal wth any CRAP then

I'll be honest to i defiantly get this way sometimes i dunno why i know its wrong and immature but sometimes i do kinda revert back to that selfish child stage,,,, like even though i have got what i want gender wise , for some other people i don't want to see them get what they want kind of like a child who has got a new shiny toy and doesn't want the other kid to get one so they can feel better or something ifykwim i have only experinced this with certain people though and i guess its the kind of people i feel more naturally competitve with like my step sister who is due one week after me

Another thing that irritates me about my sister getting a girl on her first try, is that she dresses her in crap clothes and NEVER dresses her like a girl. My sister has been competitive with me...I was always the pretty one, smart one etc. I honestly think she truly wanted a boy, but only said she wanted a girl to "spite me' since I have boy boy girl boy. We were pg at the same time, and our babies are only 3 months apart....her girl and my boy. Its just weird, for the longest time she told me she wanted her first to be a boy, and then when she got pg, STILL said she wanted a boy, till she found out I was pg....then she switched to wanting a girl.