Big family-small budget ,small family-big budget?WWYD (poll)

lovin'life:

we are HAPPY

And that is what matters. We only have "extra" things because we were together for nearly 4 years w/o children.

Azuremyst:

lovin'life:

we are HAPPY

And that is what matters. We only have "extra" things because we were together for nearly 4 years w/o children.

A college/ University education is most definately a choice!! Im one of nine and we were encouraged to do and work hard at what ever made us happy!!  We all went down different paths as we are all individuals!! I have a degree and a masters degree but thats because that was my choice!! I actually dont earn a lot as graduate jobs are few and far between here I didnt study for money I did it because I love to study!! My brother on the other hand had no desire to go to university and joined the police force at 18 and is now a senior officer earning more than the majority of graduates!!  I want the best for my children and will always encourage education but I wont try to force them down a path they dont want to follow!! My dp mother gave her boys no option about going to university and he resents her for it as although he is very smart he is more of a practical person and wanted to be a fireman!! he went to university but dropped out after two very unhappy years!! He wishes she would have trusted him with HIS own future!!

As for family size I would much rather have a large family and less money than a small family and loads of money!! Though obviously as long as we can support them!! As I said I am one of nine and although we didnt have luxury holidays or designer clothes we had a nice house an average car, lovely vaccations and smart clothes! I had an amazing childhood! I never knew anything about my parents income and never wanted for anything!!

lovin'life:

I see more and more people who come out of college dumber than a sack of rocks and do not get it.

If you take your children to a pediatrician, your parents to a cardiologist, live in a house built by an architect, drive a car designed by a automobile engineer, do your taxes in a software designed by a software architect and on the other hand you don't respect their education then its plain hypocritical. And hey! if you are booking your vacations using orbitz or travelocity.. then you are using the services of a backend process that connects to the airline's real time servers that was desigined by a team which my sister (an engineer) was a part of.

I don't think a parent should force their child to go to college. I do think they have to provide them tools to make a wiser choice. Also there is a huge difference in ones ability to percieve things when you are 18. So a parents guidance and help at that stage should certainly be encouraged. There were like 2 episodes on Oprah on how people perceive education today which is alarming and is also reflective of the attitude towards it here. Its feared that the younger generation will be less educated than ours. Its sad that people are not seeing that as a bad thing. We would need more immigrants with college degress to fill those gaps in the  future. Cant our children hold these jobs?

 I think its easy parenting to just let them do highschool or whatever, you don't need spend too much time during their growing years to instill the love of learning in them. When I was studying up for my competitive exams or SATs I'd sit up till 2 am even though my parents asked me to relax. My mom would be awake with me incase I needed coffee or something to eat or a lil chat of encouragement. And she had to get and go to work the next day. When it was my sisters time she wsa bummed that she had no time to watch her fav shows on TV because she had to work hard on her exams, My parents gave up watching TV during that time for few months just in a small way to support her, so she does not feel left out. These are little things but these are the things I remember. They could have easily taken the route of easy parenting.

People who know the value of this will always pay it forward..like the pposter American wife who said she is a well educated individual is able to do this as she earns a 6 figure so her kids have a platform to suceed. Parents who don't believe in this will obviously justify and defend their choice in every possible way. Its sad the there are so few people rallying higher education, guess its a different crowd from what I have known or belong to..so signing off.

Aqua:

People who know the value of this will always pay it forward..like the pposter American wife who said she is a well educated individual is able to do this as she earns a 6 figure so her kids have a platform to suceed. Parents who don't believe in this will obviously justify and defend their choice in every possible way. Its sad the there are so few people rallying higher education, guess its a different crowd from what I have known or belong to..so signing off.

This. 

lovin'life:

i was simply pointing out that college degrees does not make one better than the others around them. what about the man who fixes your car, or the one who cuts grass, the ones who pick up your garbage or unclogs your toilet...are they lesser than the engineer or the architect or pediatrician because of their lack of education?

I totally agree that the amount of education does not make one a better person than another - I know plenty of educated jerks, as well as uneducated people who give more to our community than their educated counterparts.  But the amount of education a person has DOES mean greater choices in life, as well as greater opportunities.  If an educated person decides to do a job like cutting grass, that is fine by me because it truly means they're making a choice. Whereas an uneducated person doesn't get to make that choice - that may be the best they can do.  And if that's the case and they're HAPPY, then that's fantastic. Because you're right, it takes all types of people to make the world go around, and we need people in every walk of life.  I just don't want my children to ever be trapped by the circumstances of their education - I want them to have every conceivable choice available to them. And that is why, in my house, college is something that I expect from my children (and will provide for them) - it's what they do after college that is their option and I support them with whatever they decide.  True, they may rebel and refuse to go to college, but I kind of doubt it.  I believe that the vast majority of kids who grow up with parents who talk about "when" they go to college not "if" they go, will go on to college.

rainbabies12:

Yes birth control is widely used in our country, but have you ever stopped to think if that was a good thing? in the 20's even sending information thru the mail about birth control was illegal. This changed with Margaret Sanger and the founding of planned barrenhood. Her goals were to plant PP in black communities and to eliminate certain races. You can read about this in her book " woman and the new race ". So, we went from no birth control in the 20's, to oral bc in the 60's, to abortion in the 70's, and now there are 49,551,703 abortions since 1973. And we call this progress. It's been a rapid downward spiral in morality since that time. Now our country does not value children anymore. They are seen as something to " fulfill" our lifestyles. Just another little something to make us happy and keep us occupied ? Instead of valuing the child because they are wonderful in themselves. You can teach your child that college will be the expectation after high school, but not all children obey at that age. I have kids all the way up through college age, and I have many friends whondid that exact thing, and their kids had other ideas. So, even if you secure their education, that doesn't mean they will use it, or not flunk out, or decide to get their girlfriend pregnant, or decide to go to fireman school instead. You just can never tell, but I have noticed that people with kids younger than 12 never believe that their kids might make a choice other than what they have planned for them. I am not going to sacrifice one of my future children just to have more money to give to a child that may or may not want college when that child can also work to afford college if that is their choice. They will also appreciate their classes more and try harder if they worked all summer for that money. Also, the most important job is being a mother. Raising children with beliefs and values and morals is difficult. Putting value only on women who chose to work outside the home, belittles the SAHMs.