How do we lose the paci?

 My DS1 is 2 1/2 and is completely addicted to his paci.  He keeps it in his mouth 24/7.  I've tried to limit it to just bed times, but he stashes them in hiding places I can't find and then gets one when I'm not looking.  It's actually impressive since I will tear the house apart trying to find just one and suddenly he'll have 4.  The only success I've had is getting him to let me have his paci when he is playing somewhere or outside.  I'm having DS2 in February and I'd really like for DS1 to be paci-free before the baby arrives.   I'm hoping also that DS1 will be ready to potty train around that time too, so I don't want to be dealing with pacis and the potty.  I thought my DD would have a hard time giving up her paci, but one day around 2 1/2 she just threw hers in the trash and that was it.  I need help.  I'm so done with the paci.

DS1 is 4 1/2 and still wants his pacifier for sleeping.  If he's upset or tired he'll run and get it. I don't worry about it too much;  I was much more concerned about him refusing to be potty trained.  Now that he's trained, I almost don't care what other baby habits he keeps!

One thing that helped us wean him from 24/7 pacifier use was that he only has 1 and it's attached to a clip.  So if we took it away or he dropped it, there wasn't another one anywhere that he could replace it with.  Any other pacis got stashed in the cupboard and were only taken out in when we couldn't find the clip or when the one on the clip needed to be trashed.  The clip makes the pacifier easier to find, too.  Sometimes when he dropped it, we'd snatch it up and put it where he couldn't see it, because often out of sight was out of mind.

Another suggestion I'd make is to start potty training several months before DS2 arrives.  A new baby is enough of a change without trying to change his toilet habits too.  I don't know if that's something you had to deal with between DD and DS1 or not.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice.  I like the idea of only one paci because right now he always has to have at least 2.  I'll have to get a clip too.

claireb1y:

Another suggestion I'd make is to start potty training several months before DS2 arrives.  A new baby is enough of a change without trying to change his toilet habits too.

 

I've tried to start potty training with him, but he's really not ready.  He won't even sit on the potty long enough to give it a chance.  He's just now getting to a point where he will tell me if he needs a diaper change, so that's a start at least.  I've already decided that it probably wont happen before DS2 arrives, unless something changes with DS1.  I'm okay with it.  I won't push it cause I know he will when he's ready.  My DD was potty trained shorty after DS1 arrived, but she was definitely showing interest at a younger age.

 Oh, and thank you for your kind words on my GD post.  Today has been okay, so we'll just keep taking it one day at a time.  

This is what I did with DS3 a couple of months ago. He was a total addict. It made me break out into a cold sweat every time I thought about taking it away. I just knew it was going to be AWFUL.

I first took it away during the day... Of course, this was probably easier for me because he is at daycare. So it was their problem! Ha! Not that it was even a problem because from Day 1, (mid-August) he didn't need it there. They were able to distract him with enough activity that he pretty much forgot about it. Even during naps!

Of course, I would let him have it as soon as he got in the car after I picked him up. Damn it.

Anyway...

We went cold turkey one morning after he moved up to the 2-year old class at daycare. I had been talking to him for a week or so about how it would be time to throw the paci away once he moved up to the "big boy class" at school. We went out to the garbage can during garbage day and said, "Bye, bye!" and I had him pitch the paci in the can where soon the garbage man came by to pick it up. So DS3 *knew* it was gone. Then we went back inside the house, and I gave him a new Elmo doll which distracted him. From there on out, anytime he'd ask for his paci (which he did for a few days) I'd tell him that the garbage man took it and that he was such a "big boy" and didn't need it anymore.

Surprisingly, he slept through the night that first night and the whole thing was really a non-event. It might not be that bad for you! Just pick a date when you are ready to get rid of it for good and go for it. Distract and encourage. Worked for me!

 My oldest loved his suckys. I managed to get him to only take it at night by distracting him a lot during the day. When I thought it was time to lose it completely I just made a little incision on the nipple part so he wouldn't be able to suck on it when he popped it in his mouth. You know, he'd just be getting air like if he were sucking on a bottle nipple. After a couple days he got tired of his broken suckys and no longer wanted them. 

Oneto3:

I've tried to start potty training with him, but he's really not ready.

Well, skip it then, and wait until the baby is a couple of months old.  It's good not to push them, because potty training is one place they can push back!  I had to wait until DS1 was 3 before he'd even consider peeing on the toilet, and he was 4 before he would poop on it.  We got so frustrated with him, but he simply refused to do it, no matter how much we sat him on the toilet!

Oneto3:

 Oh, and thank you for your kind words on my GD post.  Today has been okay, so we'll just keep taking it one day at a time.

That's all you can do.  Sometimes you have to take it a minute at a time! 

Beebs$:

We went cold turkey one morning after he moved up to the 2-year old class at daycare. I had been talking to him for a week or so about how it would be time to throw the paci away once he moved up to the "big boy class" at school.

I've told DS1 before that when this pacifier breaks or gets chewed up, I'm not buying any more.  But I haven't mentioned it recently and I probably should.  It's starting to look pretty ragged!  

claireb1y:

DS1 is 4 1/2 and still wants his pacifier for sleeping.  If he's upset or tired he'll run and get it. I don't worry about it too much;  I was much more concerned about him refusing to be potty trained.  Now that he's trained, I almost don't care what other baby habits he keeps!

One thing that helped us wean him from 24/7 pacifier use was that he only has 1 and it's attached to a clip.  So if we took it away or he dropped it, there wasn't another one anywhere that he could replace it with.  Any other pacis got stashed in the cupboard and were only taken out in when we couldn't find the clip or when the one on the clip needed to be trashed.  The clip makes the pacifier easier to find, too.  Sometimes when he dropped it, we'd snatch it up and put it where he couldn't see it, because often out of sight was out of mind.

Another suggestion I'd make is to start potty training several months before DS2 arrives.  A new baby is enough of a change without trying to change his toilet habits too.  I don't know if that's something you had to deal with between DD and DS1 or not.

Good luck!

My son is that age and he would look ridiculous with a paci in his mouth. I would never let him have it that long... you are the parent not him!

Serenity:

My son is that age and he would look ridiculous with a paci in his mouth. I would never let him have it that long... you are the parent not him!

Thanks for that.  It was very helpful.

I am the parent, and I chose my battles.

courtnilaine:

 I just made a little incision on the nipple part so he wouldn't be able to suck on it when he popped it in his mouth. You know, he'd just be getting air like if he were sucking on a bottle nipple. After a couple days he got tired of his broken suckys and no longer wanted them. 

 

This.

claireb1y:

Serenity:

My son is that age and he would look ridiculous with a paci in his mouth. I would never let him have it that long... you are the parent not him!

Thanks for that.  It was very helpful.

I am the parent, and I chose my battles.

OK--unsupportive much?? Damn....

My son just stopped taking his when he was 1. My daughter is 9, and I swear would still be on them if we'd let her!  She was totally addicted! She was almost 4 when we finally just bit the bullet and threw them all away. Very hard thing to do!!  I don't know why she loved them so much-I still don't understand it!

P.S.  She had a terrible speech problem and everyone told me it was the pacifier. When I took her to the elementary school for evaluation I told the speech pathologist she had just been taken off of them and she said that had nothing to do with speech problems! WHEW!!

texasangie1:

OK--unsupportive much?? Damn....

Glad it wasn't just me!  I was a bit taken aback.

texasangie1:

My son just stopped taking his when he was 1. My daughter is 9, and I swear would still be on them if we'd let her!

DS2 doesn't care for a pacifier at all.  We have to hold it in his mouth during medical exams to get him to suck on it and stay quiet.  DS1 is like your daughter though:  if I'd keep buying them, he'd keep sucking on them!

It's just not something I worry about.  DS1 has gotten potty trained, had a new brother, endured that new brother's two hospital stays, and started preK this year.  I think that's enough stress for one year;  he can keep his paci another couple months!

claireb1y:

DS1 has gotten potty trained, had a new brother, endured that new brother's two hospital stays, and started preK this year.  I think that's enough stress for one year;  he can keep his paci another couple months!

 

So, do you think that I should drop the paci issue?  My problem with it is that when he can't find it, he has a total melt down and throws a tantrum.  He also likes to throw them when he gets mad if he has them.  I just feel like there's too much drama associated with the paci.  He speaks just fine and other than the drama, they keep him happy.   Do you think it's too much to try to take them away with a new baby on the way?

Sorry if I sounded rude. I would just tell him he is a big boy and he doesnt need it anymore and take it away. He will be in kindergarden soon, you dont want a kid that age with a paci do you? Of course he will be upset about it being taken away but he will get over it. Its not like its a life long traumatizing event to get your paci taken away.

When my son was 2 1/2 he was totally addicted to his paci also.  We were outside one day and he dropped it by an ant hill and I told him that I'd have to take it inside and wash it.  When I did, I cut the end off of all of them and I told him the ants chewed it up.  I still let him have it but after 2 days, he didn't want it.  He couldn't get a "grip" to suck on it and he just threw them down.  He'd still ask every once in a while for one and I would just remind him that the ants got them!!! I was much easier than I ever anticipated! Good luck!!