do you get the feeling that mixed gender moms...

I used to think that women with my DG, a girl, were smug and looking at me a certain way when they saw I only had boys.  And then I was lukcy enough to get my DG and it has been something that has occured to me; that you don't look anyway at any other family. All you do is concentrate on your own family and don't think much about what others have or don't.  Of course, you don't get to realise that unless you are in a position to see it from that perspective.  So I understand while some people might feel that way.

I don't post that often in this forum because I do try to be sensitive to how the women here feel, but very often the posts have to do with gettng the opinions of those with both genders as in 'for those who had all boys, then got a girl, did you do 0+12 or shettles?"...that type of thing or it the posts asks what mums of both genders think. 

I pretty much do not pay any attention to the gender make ups of random families. I do notice extra cute kids be it boys or girls but not really what the family make up is. And do not pity same gender families at all, I just think anyone who has children is lucky! Also I never comment if someone wants a boy or girl when they are pregnant because I realize how hurtful it can be so I pretty much do not ever mention gender!

I think it can go both ways. It depends on if the mixed gender mom's personal family make up preference and same for the same gender mom's family make up preference. Now that I'm over my GD, I am proud to have my 3dds!  So I don't feel inferior and sometimes that gets reflected on to others without my knowing, for example, at a party recently, a mixed gender mom asked me if I would try again for a boy and I told her without thinking that I'm looking forward to my 3 of a kind!  And she smiled and said, your family is beautiful and you are very lucky.  (She has BGB combo).  A few of my PP friends actually decided to try again for one more after seeing how my girls bond because they also want to experience same gender bonding.  So I realized that not all mixed gender moms feel that they have "everything" and that not all same gender moms feel "incomplete".  My husband recently had a client came up to him after she heard we are expecting daughter number 3 and she told him that she also has 3 daugthers and that she enjoyed every moment of it and told him how much we will love it, and went on to tell him how her daugthers are all grown up now.  I think in general people see the whole family (not just the gender make up of the family) and whether everyone in that familly is happy or "not happy"...and that gets reflected on how other's see that family.  I've seen families who don't talk to each other at restaurants and they don't seem to enjoy each other's company much and I would think, wow, that sucks.    And I've seen families who have a great time together and I would smile and think, that's so sweet.  And that is regardless of wether they have a mix gender or a same gender family make up.  And at the park, I've seen 3 sisters who look out for each other, and I also seen a big brother and little brother moment, and I also seen a big brother being very protective of his little sister, and I would smile and think that I hope my girls will be great siblings like that too. 

Oh my gosh, I never realised my topic would spark such a debate! I wasn't implying ALL mixed gender moms like to rub it in just all the ones I know, I have never met one who hasn't enjoyed rubbing it in or making little snide comments or even comments that they may not realise are very hurtful which shows they think they are very lucky while I, with my two gorgeous boys, is not lucky or blessed.

I think it is highly offensive to suggest once people have their DG they are no longer welcome...it's like "You got what you were after, now mSHOO, off with you, we don't ever want to see you again!" Sort of like a PUNISHMENT???

Before I got my DG, I mostly wanted to hear from people on here who HAD successfully conceived girls, so I could get tips and info.  How silly to not be able to use their successful experience to hopefully then help others- I thought that was the whole idea?

as for worrying other posters might "feel offended"- I think it is thoughtless people in their lives, wider community that can make them feel that way, not fellow IG posters who know exactly where they are coming from!

very true four boys..well said :)

 

 

 

vixen1988:

 pity you and feel more superior in some way? seems like some of them i know go out of the way to talk about their darling daughters more than normal when im around or have some pride in their voice when they say 'well i have one of each'

 Makes me feel like a failure in so many ways and one of the 'unlicky ones' to be pitied, around to make mixed gender kids moms feelmore fantastic then they already do :( maybe i wouldnt have GD if this wasnt the case... x

 I don't...i had not seen this until i found this site IG a few years ago. Each child is a blessing from God and our plans are not his plans for our life:) I have several friends with one gender. And I know people i grew up with who came from a one gender family and they have blessed their parents with that "other gender" they always wanted or even that "3rd or 4th" child they never had. My mother always wanted another child and regreted her tubal after her second child was born....she delights in my 5 so much now. I am already looking forward to this joy of one day having (Gods will) many many grandbabies to love on 

I don't think they feel superior but with the comments I get EVERY SINGLE TIME I leave my house - seriously EVERY TIME with 4 boys - "oh you poor thing" "God I'm so glad I have a girl" "that must be so hard" " I bet your house is never clean" "I can barely deal with having 1 boy, let alone 4"... there is certainly a lot of pity and just feelings of "glad it's not me!". It's annoying and I'm to the point I'm ready to start telling me to F-off.