Please leave these comments to the Extreme forum

I never looked at the extreme gender disappointment forum because I know I'd find it extremely uspetting, but I spotted a couple of comments, mentioning the possibility of terminating a pregancy because of the gender, in this forum too. While being very loyal to the NON JUDGEMENTAL nature of these discussions, I found them extremely upsetting. I do not belong in the same place where this things are discussed, I feel completely alien to this. I'm slowly getting to know a few mums, rooting for them, and feeling understood and supported. But talking about terminations due to gender HURTS me deeply. If it's not kept into the Extreme Forum, which is a place where these specific feelings can be aired, I'll have to leave. Sorry about sounding harsh, but I do not accept to be part of something that I find deeply, deeply immoral, which is the reason why such troubled feelings should only be aired where they won't hurt and also they won't be judged. I cannot not speak out. Thank you, Marita.

I couldnt agree more- these sort of comments dont belong here. I feel bad enough having a gender desire without feeling like I am part of a group of people who would terminate a baby based on its gender.

Thanks for saying it better than I could!

Amy

Absolutely, there was a big hoo hah over this a few months back with a lady who had severe EGD posting on here and it upset a lot of people, me included. I don't want to hear about stuff like that and nor do a lot of mums on here, it should definitely be restricted to the EGD forum.

For any ladies that are having feelings like this, you need to PM Coochie Coo for permission to gain access to the EGD forum.

mountainchild:

I never looked at the extreme gender disappointment forum because I know I'd find it extremely uspetting, but I spotted a couple of comments, mentioning the possibility of terminating a pregancy because of the gender, in this forum too. While being very loyal to the NON JUDGEMENTAL nature of these discussions, I found them extremely upsetting. I do not belong in the same place where this things are discussed, I feel completely alien to this. I'm slowly getting to know a few mums, rooting for them, and feeling understood and supported. But talking about terminations due to gender HURTS me deeply. If it's not kept into the Extreme Forum, which is a place where these specific feelings can be aired, I'll have to leave. Sorry about sounding harsh, but I do not accept to be part of something that I find deeply, deeply immoral, which is the reason why such troubled feelings should only be aired where they won't hurt and also they won't be judged. I cannot not speak out. Thank you, Marita.

Posts like this is the reason there is so much controversy on IG and it makes me sad that others can't vent on here because people are so sensitive and judgemental.  Lets keep the peace and hold the arguements  Love and respect all to make it easier

GGandB:

Posts like this is the reason there is so much controversy on IG and it makes me sad that others can't vent on here because people are so sensitive and judgemental.  Lets keep the peace and hold the arguements  Love and respect all to make it easier

Awesome--so I can post in completely inappropriate areas sexual fetishes and fantasies and no one can say anything because if they do, they're being sensitive and judgemental! Awesome. 

Freedom of speech doesn't give you permission to be insensitive and ignore boundaries very clearly set up (IE--The EGD type posts and comments belong in the EGD subforum! Gasp! Crazy, I know. I need to get out of here with my silly logic and ideals)

And why do people have a right to comment/post things that make the majority of people uncomfortable.. but when people speak out against it, we need to "love and respect all to make it easier"? Where is the love and respect for the people this offends and hurts, hm?

Let's not be selfish and hypocritical.

GGandB:

Posts like this is the reason there is so much controversy on IG and it makes me sad that others can't vent on here because people are so sensitive and judgemental.  Lets keep the peace and hold the arguements  Love and respect all to make it easier

Venting is fine, but this is a gender DISAPPOINTMENT forum. Being disappointed that you are having a girl or a boy is a LOT different to saying you happily terminated your child because they were not your preferred gender. Those posts belong on the EGD forum which was specifically set up for people experiencing those feelings or who had done something like that themselves, so they had a place they could go and speak out while not seriously upsetting most other mums on here who merely have disappointment.

all_b0y_house:

GGandB:

Posts like this is the reason there is so much controversy on IG and it makes me sad that others can't vent on here because people are so sensitive and judgemental.  Lets keep the peace and hold the arguements  Love and respect all to make it easier

 

Venting is fine, but this is a gender DISAPPOINTMENT forum. Being disappointed that you are having a girl or a boy is a LOT different to saying you happily terminated your child because they were not your preferred gender. Those posts belong on the EGD forum which was specifically set up for people experiencing those feelings or who had done something like that themselves, so they had a place they could go and speak out while not seriously upsetting most other mums on here who merely have disappointment.

 That is the whole point of having an EGD board so the people that don't want to be subjected to those posts don't have to see them and those that need support for such a thing have somewhere to post about it.

I understand how it can upset you to talk about abortion but I just feel like if it bothers you then leave it alone.  No one will ever completely agree with your beliefs.  And yes there are some people that just don't think the way you think.  The people on this site can get hypocritical because most of us have DG or GD but yet when people bash us and judge us for having GD or DG we get so defensive and talk bad about them.  So if you don't like for someone to do that to you, then please don't do that to them even if you do find it so sick and disgusting and it bothers you because there are people out here that find GD and DG sick and disgusting and think we should just appreciate the child we have regardless if we have 10 boys wanting a girl or 10 girls wanting a boy.  Thats all I am saying.  I am not trying to argue or go against I just want people to stand on the inside and look out.  And another thing is yes there is an EGD forum on here but most of the time you cant even vent in there because there are lurkers that go into that forum just to be nosey when they really don't have EGD or GD for that matter.  There is nothing wrong with telling the OP to post in the EGD forum and move on.  Don't bash her and speak negative to her. Respect all posts because you would want someone to do that for you if you were in her shoes.

 Ok, seriously? So if people come in here and bash people who have GD, we just leave it alone? Just ignoreit and hope it goes away? No, we don't. We report it, people get banned, posts get deleted or moved. If you're posting the WRONG thing in the WRONG place and it just happens to be offensive to 90% of the people who view it, what exactly do you expect?

And you are missing the whole point.  If someone is posting in the wrong forum just kindly tell them to post in another forum and leave it alone.  Dont go bashing them because they can report you as well for all your negative words.  Thats it thats all.

 No, I get your point--and while I agree with it in principal, I'm asking what you expect. This isn't a perfect world, when people get offended they generally don't look away without speaking out against it, especially if it looks like nothing's being done to remedy the situation (no offence, mods--you need sleep, too). Having to see those comments in pretty much EVERY.SINGLE.POST or reading it in every single post.. it wears on whatever patience people have.

ETA: I must admit, the reason you were rubbing me the wrong way and I was/am being such a bitch is because it very much seemed as if you were defending the posts/comments for being here (in the GD forum) in your original posts and statements as if they belonged here as much as any other post. If that's not the case, I apologize and stand corrected. Though I do stand by my statement that you saying all_b0y_house is a troll. That is ridiculous.

 Please understand a few things.

• This IS a forum about Gender Disappointment.  Gender Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes, and no one has the right to sit in judgement on another for how they are feeling.
• There ARE rules in regards to posting in the GD forums, and those rules include being supportive - i.e. not telling people there's a "nice place in hell" for them.
• The EGD forum isn't a free-for-all where everyone talks about killing babies.  It is a place where people can safely discuss how they are feeling.  No, we don't sit there and say, "YEAH!  Go get that abortion!"  Believe it, or not, that doesn't happen.
• The EGD forum is NOT a public forum, and you have to ask for and gain access - so if someone is new they may not realize that.  Also, it may take some time to gain that access.
• You choose which threads to open and respond to.  Respect is expected.