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silently wishing...

sheer

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Joined 01-12-2010

Posts 115

sheer

So we're done. I have an amazing family, six kids (seven if you include DH, haha). :) But in my heart I long for one more. DH is adamantly against having any more but he *very reluctantly* agreed that I could get an IUD (which I had put in a few days ago) and he'd wait 3 years to get his V but that he is 100% certain he wants no more children and that he hopes I feel the same way. I said I didn't want more either because I keep hoping to feel that I don't want more - am I crazy or what??

Our littlest one is only 3 months old and I wouldn't want a 7th child immediately, maybe in 2 years or so...but I just know I want one more. I had GD when I found out I was having a little boy but now that he is here, our amazing little #6, I love him madly and can't imagine him not being in my life. I feel in my heart that I don't care boy/girl...that I just long for that one more person in our family. All of this quiet wishing in secret...and am ashamed to even feel the way I feel. DH doesn't know...and I'm hoping that maybe in a couple of years I could talk to him about it. If I were to broach the subject, I think he might get quite upset and it would cause a rift in our relationship. I'm afraid of that. Obviously would never "trick" him into having a 7th (#6 was a surprise and took DH several months of my pregnancy to come to terms with it - hence the IUD this time around)...but I can't help feeling the way I feel despite the fact that it is unfair to DH to even think about having one more. Logic and reason (and DH) all point to our family being complete. But I feel almost resentful about it. Maybe my feelings will change over time. I was just reading another post here about when you know you're "done" or feel complete. Every single day I wonder if I will ever feel that way.

Thanks for listening.

 

mtgirl

always tired...never bored

Top 50 Contributor

Montana

Joined 12-10-2006

Posts 7,253

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mtgirl

I do hope you find peace with this issue.  It is difficult when one person wants more children and the spouse is d.o.n.e. (and adamantly so.)  I can tell you that the older my littlest one has gotten, the more "done" I feel.  So, perhaps time will work in your favor as well....  GLHeart

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  or we make ourselves strong. 
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philippa

Not Ranked

Joined 12-01-2007

Posts 4

philippa

I am in the same boat as you, as I have five children four girls and a boy.  My husband says he is done and does,nt want anymore children ever. I however would like to wait a few years and then decide.  He says that we cannot afford another one and that he is at his limit.  This is doing my head in since i can see money is tight and that we are pushed to the limit at the moment. But i still cannot put the thought of having another one out of my mind. Hope you resolve everthing with your husband anyway.  Maybe wait a couple of years then talk to him

 

peaches78

Kelly

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Indiana

Joined 02-28-2008

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peaches78

I wasn't feeling "done" after #6 so DH agreed to an IUD. Now 2 years later I'm wishing we had done something permanent! lol

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