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Sorry you are having a bad day. :(

I know this may not make you feel better- but my daughter will do the rough and tumble just as much as my son will and go outside without me, even being somewhat girly. Sometimes my son cuddles and just want to be  with me and does special time with me.

Maybe having special time with each your boys might help too, so you might see it in the future as a break, like CocoChanel mom said. Its important for both you and them to spend time together.

Hope that is somewhat helpful- I could not help trying to help you since I have felt left out too. 

Honestly? 

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE when they do boy things together.  Gives me a break!  So awesome to just say, "I'm outta here and going to get a pedicure" when they are playing PS3.  I really value my alone time.

I had an awesome girls' weekend in NYC this past January and trust me...  felt GREAT to leave them at home to do "boy things." 

And I really never feel left out.  Most things that we do aren't boy things, per se.  I'd be doing them with any of my children.  Today, my 6 year-old had a swim meet.  DH had the other boys for the early part of the meet so DS1 and I sat together for a while and just chilled out in the stands and chatted (and shared a doughnut).  The mom that sat in front of us has a girl that is a year older than DS1.  She was off hanging out with her other friends on the swim team.  She only appeared by her mom, on occasion, to grab snacks...and then she was off again.  So don't think that having a DD would guarantee that you're not "alone."  A lot of this kind of thinking is brought on by the "GD fog."  

Chin up!  It's all good, girl.   

LIke others have said i LOVE the time to myself when they are doing stuff with their dad.

I am not very girly and love to play soccer, wrestling, races all that physical play that boys often love to do so i never feel left out.

The only time i get annoyed is when they are watching sports on TV because that is deathly boring to me, but i solved that by getting a TV in my bedroom and now i use that time to watch movies or Oprah.

hi hun.i know how u feel.i have found out that i am expecting my 4th boy and i am so fed up with feeling lonely.my hubby loved having boys but i know if it were 4 girls he would feel left out.i feel so alone at times and im fed up with it.i was so desperate for a girl this time round (im still not convinced the sonographer got the results right lol) and feel so crushed at the mo.i love my baby so much and feel so guilty for feeling like this but it would have been lovely to have some pink in the house.dont get me wrong, my boys are lovely and i love them so so much but i cannot help but feel i am grieving for a child i am never going to have.i really do not want any more after this one. xx

BeebsNBubbs:

A lot of this kind of thinking is brought on by the "GD fog." 

I totally agree with this!

Mine are only 4 and 1, but I looooove it when DH takes DS1 to do stuff together (and the stuff they do together isn't nec "boy" stuff- they go to museums - which DS1 LOVES [we live in DC so there are many and they're all free], they go to the local swim center which has an indoor water park, they go watch airplanes at National Airport which btw I love to do too, they go to some of the play centers or just go to grab a bite and get ice cream, etc. In the fall DH takes DS1 to football games (we have season tickets)- I go too sometimes but now with the little one it's harder- DH and I are huge football fans and I miss be able to go to all the games.

Anyway like everyone else said, I like it because it gives me a break. If I want "girl time" I call my best friend.

I think honestly when moms here say they feel left out, what they are really saying is that they have no interest in being interested in what their sons or DH's are interested in, and that is sad. You are missing out on a lot of fun stuff in life!! I was NOT a football fan when I met DH, at ALL! When we met I was a "club girl", annd looked down on beer-drinking sports fans (I was used to those flashy club guys)... I didn't get it at all. yes I grew up a tomboy and played softball as a teen (but I was also a gymnast and dancer), but my family, dad included, was not into sports so I was never "taught" that. DH and I couldn't have been more different when we first met. But eventually I realized we needed to experience each others' worlds to get closer or it wasn't going to work. He came out with me to clubs and started to wear flashier clothes when we woudl go out, and I started going to sports games and would wear - GASP! - football jerseys!! (If you knew me back then you would've been shocked I would be wearing one). Well, the more I went to games, and the more I learned about the rules of the games and relaxed and took my nose out of the air, I found it was so much fun, and I really enjoyed it!! After about 2 years into dating DH, I was screaming louder than him at games!! :) I love the fact that DH and I could take our boys to a game and we ALL could have fun! You have to learn to enjoy what the rest of your family is into (and the same goes to dads with girls, they need to learn to love and enjoy whatever 'girl stuff' their girls do!!).

no I dont feel alone because being a sahm I am ALWAYS with my boys and its good to have a break...right now my older boys are camping with thier daddy...I have just my baby boy and girl!

I also enjoy the 'alone time" when daddy is playing football, basketball, baseball or soccer with our boys and if I don't want to be alone, I join them.  I am a sports nut so I enjoy 5yr olds football and soccer games.  The first person he looks at every time he scores a goal or a touchdown....is me.  It melts my heart.  We also go to museums, shopping and alot of other gender neutral events together.  I worry when they are teenagers that we wouldn't have much in common, but I will weasel my way into their lifves on a daily basis somehow

I'm sorry GD has gotten the best of you today, it is a monster  I wish we could all get our DG.  I hope you feel better.

 My DH took my two boys, 3 and 5 to a Monster Truck show last night and I hung otu with my girlfriends.  I look forward to many more "boys night/days" out so that I can enjoy some alone time!

Before I had my boys, I would have never expected myself to say this, but it's surprisingly easy to get into boy things. I'll admit that after ds2 there were many times that the thought of baseball games and football games and matchbox cars and dinosaurs, etc filled me with dread. But you know what? I ended up loving all of it. And it was easy to love it because THEY loved it. Their enthusiasm drew me in and I got hooked.

So I've never felt left out, and on the few occasions that dh takes them by himself, I'm like Beebs. I enjoy my time alone. But there are very few things that are just "boy things" if you don't make them that way. There's absolutely no reason that you can't be included in anything they like, unless it's something you don't want to be included in. For me, that's camping because I H.A.T.E. camping. Lol. Anything else, I'm in.

I love threads like these (call me biased) b/c missing out on my family's activities because of gender is one of my BIGGEST worries about having all boy family. So the comments and advice here are very much welcomed!

From reading the posts, I really do think a lot of it is having a positive attitude; it's so easy (speaking from my own experience) to decide something is boring/ugh and then it really does become that.  I too hate going to warm the bleachers. That said, I went to my sons' bike rally at their preschool and while watching little kids zip around a circle for 20 minutes sounds deathly boring, I cheered my heart out. I was SO proud.  And I think (hope!) it'll be like in the future - sure I don't really love cricket or baseball or rugby or soccer, but when it's my child playing?  I think it'll be different. And that's assuming they'll play sports. what if they sing in the choir (I'd love that), or play an instrument, act in a play, or ooh my dream! like gymnastics? I'll be there in the front row.

The other thing I keep thinking is what would it be like if there were a girl in the midst? When the boys are out fishing or watching sport on tv, will she and I be playing dolls? painting our toenails? watching Disney movies with Princesses in them? gossiping on the porch with cups of tea? Maybe... or maybe not. I don't really want to play dolls (as a child I liked them but only to act out the stories I'd read) and I despise Disney movies where the princess waits for her prince (the newer ones better but still.....) Does anyone watch Snow White and realize the dwarfs loved her because she CLEANED THEIR COTTAGE? and baked pieds for them? And sang beautifully? AAAAAGh.

Sorry - off topic. The point is, everytime I get down and mopey about the all boys situation, I try to think of injecting a girl into it and would things be ALL that different? And what would that say about the boy-girl stereotyping - "come, darling daughter, help Mommy bake cookies in the kitchen while the boys all watch sports on tv?"  I think that's probably the LAST thing I'd want to instill in my kids - the men watch tv, the girls bake!

So that also helps a bit because makes me realize I'm focusing a lot on fantasy/dream and not on the reality of the situtation. 

Finally - perhaps a controversial thought.  I was a "latch-key" kid. My mom worked full-time, as did my dad. There were 5 kids to be raised. My older sisters & I did a lot in the house once we were old enough - cooking and cleaning and laundry, to earn pocket money. We made our own "playdates" or when we were younger we hung out with the children of our parents' friends or the kids who lived on the same street as us.  My mom and dad came to our sports matches, dance recitals, concerts when they could - and if it was during working hours, that usually meant no. Family holidays were what they wanted to do and what they could afford - there were no "oh man, not camping again" reactions from us... So sometimes I wonder that my obsession with having this happy family where we do everything together, participate in activities together, is a reaction to my childhood. And the crazy thing is - I had a REALLY happy childhood.  My parents didn't revolve their life around mine or my siblings; we were expected to fit into their life. And it worked (for us anyway). So sometimes I think I'm overthinking this whole kids business too much - I want to be there and be involved, I don't want to ever be excluded from their lives, but they are their own little (and one day big) people, we as parents can only do so much, and sometimes a little bit of separation is a good thing. (That said am still mulling how I can con the boys into reading LIttle Women with me when they get bigger!)

I do think it works the other way too. They love it when Mom takes them out to afternoon tea or bakes cookies with them or does other things that they enjoy that are also more up my personal alley.

love2run, thanks for that good perspective! Funny, I was just talking with a friend today who said it is amazing how boys will love books that you never would have expected them to enjoy, including some of the most classic "girl" books. Hope that turns out to be true in our case too.