Please help me stop worrying about my babies gender

Hi Everyone,

I have been on the site a while and posting to many posts.

I have 3 girls and would love another. I am expecting my fourth baby in december this year. I know to many i sound a very selfish person, but to me this is a problem getting out of control. I am worrying myself sick over having a boy. I dont even know why. As the pregnancy is progressing,  my symptoms are different than i had with my 3 girls.

I am not sleeping, and most days wishing the days away, just until i find out.

I do have my scan next week, but its only an early 12 week scan, so i can post a nub pic, but wont know the sex.

Please dont judge me for feeling this way, maybe this is a girl, but i have very strong feelings its not and i dont know how i would cope.

I was brought up with my mother, and no male figure and we have no boys in our family, but surely this cant make me feel this way.

i just want to feel happy and im only dreading the result. xxx

You will be the same mother to a son as you are to your daughters.  It's not really any different IMO.  I understand your fears, but instinct kicks in the same way.  You will fall in love with your him just the same, and he will fit in so perfectly that you won't even remember the days when he didn't exist (if indeed it is a boy).  Congrats and GL!

abca:

You will be the same mother to a son as you are to your daughters.  It's not really any different IMO.  I understand your fears, but instinct kicks in the same way.  You will fall in love with your him just the same, and he will fit in so perfectly that you won't even remember the days when he didn't exist (if indeed it is a boy).  Congrats and GL!

  I totally agree.  I was dreading my u/s with #4 because I was terrified it would be a boy when I desperately wanted a girl.  But when I saw my little man on the screen sucking his thumb I fell in love and he is the sweetest guy ever!  A friend of mine had a boy after 4 girls and he is spoiled rotten by his big sisters - they just adore him!!

peaches78:

But when I saw my little man on the screen sucking his thumb I fell in love and he is the sweetest guy ever!

I think you will be OK with a boy after a bit!  But you never know, your little girl could be in there too!

 

I like your pink font, how did you get it?

I truly think your chances of having a girl are better than most people.  I know there are no guarantees, but I really feel that after three girls, your chances are very very good of having another girl.  I know people say its 50/50.  However, as I have said in previous posts, single-sex families happen ALOT.  I dont think they would happen nearly as often if it didn't have something to do with the biology of the couples involved.  I mean look at that documentary you all talk about (I would love to see it, but I can't seem to get it here in the US, even with the link )  You can't tell me that that woman having 8 of one sex doesn't have something going on with the chemistry of her body and whatnot. 

In your case this is good!  I really think you will have another girl!  however, it is not guaranteed so don't build yourself up too much just in case it isn't.  Try to wait out the next month or so by keeping yourself busy with your other girls so you don't go nuts.  Good luck and keep us posted!

I can relate to how you feel. I have a girl and want another one; I've never had any desire for a boy. What helped me come to terms with the possibility of a boy is reading a lot on the GD forums, especially the Rising Above one. There are so many women who were unhappy about their baby's gender (whether boy or girl), even ones who had extreme GD, but who fell in love with their babies and adored them after they were born. It made me feel like there is just something about "your baby" that makes you love it once it's here, even if it's not the gender you'd prefer. I'm sure if I end up having a boy, I'll be disappointed to some degree. But since I already have one of my DG and I don't have anything against boys, I just felt like if I had a boy, in the long run, I would be okay with it.

I really wouldn't pay any attention to your symptoms. I don't think they have any connection with gender. You can have the same symptoms and different genders, and you can have different symptoms and the same gender.

Were you nervous when you had your first child? You never were a mother before then and did not have any idea of caring for a baby until after you had her and then loved her to death. Think of it like that if it's a boy. You never had a son, so it's understandable about what you fear, but once he comes into your life, it'll be no different than your daughters and you'll be right down comfortable . Caring for baby girls and boys is the same..well almost if you minus the diaper changing part. When your son gets older (if you have one that is), yea it may a little different than raising a daughter, but he'll have lots of joys and happiness to offer you just like your daughters. He's your child regardless and you'll realize all children, boy or girl, is a blessing.

See I wanted all boys and had I have been lucky enough to get three I would be just like you, only in reverse.  I had to face my fear of having a girl first go around though- it wasn't as bad as I had imagined.  Its out of your hands now though, hope you get your girl, but if not I hope you're able accept and embrace your little boy- they're really wonderful.

I would imagine that most people who want large one gender families do so purely out of fear either from past experiences or gender stereotypes. Having so little exposure to males in your family must make them feel very foreign to you.  The best way to get over your fear is to face it.

Whilst i know i am supposed to say i hope you get a girl, i can't help but think having a boy would be good for your family, so you could all understand first hand how beautiful boys can.  One of my close friends had 2 girls and desperately wanted her surprise #3 to be a girl, turned out to be a boy, and she says often that she thanks God she had the opportunity to mother a boy and all of her fears have disappeared.

Most of all i genuinely hope you find peace and happiness whatever gender the baby is. 

 

Hi Kate, before I had 2 sons I would have felt the same way as yourself. I was also raised without a father with only females in the family, sisters, female cousins etc. having 2 sons has caused me bad GD because I want a girl, BUT NOT because I dont cope emotionally having had my sons. I am a boys mummy now, never thought this could be true, caused  a huge shock with my first pg, bad GD with my second, but it has enriched me, like something that was missing, maybe a male part to my life or something. I now just need one girl to make me complete, but the boys I could live without any more. Hope this helps.

Hi,

Thank you for all being so kind. I feel at such a low point at the moment, and it really helps to hear from others.

 

xxx

 Hiya. I too was terrified of getting a boy and wanted only girls....which is not normally met with much sympathy as you have a PP in your family make up which so many girls here want. I'm the same as you, no positive male role model in my family/life, quite the opposite in fact, i've been surrounded by 'negative' men my whole life and i didn't want to 'add' to that with one of my own. 

I think you'll seriously adore him though if you do have a  boy!! I adore mine and trust me he is one heck of a challenging baby who exists to prove baby boy stereotypes do come true sometimes  he's loud, he smashes things, he laughs when I say no, if he can't get his own way, even something tiny (like closing a door because his own foot is in the way...he did that this morning lol) he throws one almighty diva strop and screams til the problem is resolved, eats one meal a day and won't drink cows milk, wants the expensive toddler formula at £7 per box!!! but I still adore him!!!

More so, I adore watching my daughter with him. She is his world, she lights up his little face and they're so close. You'll love that more than I could tell you x

^Your son is so dang cute w/ those gorgeous blue eyes!!!! He's almost like a doll and I just want to give him cuddles!