Do you ever wonder how different your pregnancy would be if you were having DG?

I think I would be ON TOP OF THE WORLD if I were having a DD. I can't even imagine how happy I would be every morning when I woke, every time I looked in the nursery, in conversations with others about the baby.

Oh, to feel that way.

I really feel robbed of that experience.

Instead.... I fake smiles when I talk about having my DS, half-heartedly create a nursery, grudgingly think about names. Sadly, I don't feel that connected to this pregnancy. I don't feel like singing or reading to my belly. I just don't. I really wish I did. 

I just wonder WHAT IF and feel such primal jealously. I wish it would go away.

I was ecstatic with my first pregnancy... I didn't care what I had... it was all soo exciting.  However, since our first son my husband and I have desperately wanted a little girl so my pregnancies with DS #2, #3 & #4 have not had the same excitement.  I have struggled at times.  I am still struggling with DS#4....

But I can tell you when each of them arrived & I held them in my arms.... I was so in love... it only took a matter of hours for ALL of them!  I wish that you weren't feeling so sad.  Good Luck!

I was excited with my first pregnancy too, as DH and I both wanted a girl and got one.  This second time around we wanted another girl and the u/s tech burst our bubble rather quickly to tell us it was a boy, like she couldn't wait. (I really didn't like her)  It's so strange though, this pregnancy has been pretty much the same.  I had terrible morning sickness that lasted into my 2nd trimester, I'm moody, don't want anyone around me except for DH and DD.  It's the exact same as I was before.  When I was carrying DD, I was talking to who is now my former boss, who has a girl and boy.  She said with her girl, she was the same as I was.  Very sweet with her DH.  With her son she wanted to fight.  I am very clingy with DH and DD.  Since the tech told me boy, I feel like this pregnancy is a burden.  I cry all the time, I don't want this baby now.  I would be in a much better place if she had said girl. 

I know exactly how you feel - I wasn't excited about either of mine.  I felt robbed, too.  Actually, I still sort of do.  I still sometimes wonder what it would be like to feel so happy and excited while pg.  I keep wondering if we should try again because I know that I would be absolutely over the moon if I got my girl and I would get to experience that.  On the other hand, if I were to have another boy...well, I just don't know if I could handle it.  That said, I loved my boys to pieces once they were here and I know you will, too. 

Tbh, I don't know if we sometimes put too much onto GD and feel it is responsible for everything. I was over the moon to be pregnant with my son first time round, not my desired gender as I had no preference, but I still hated being pregnant. I actually forgot how much until I was pregnant this time at I still hate it lol. I did have a teeny bit of GD when I found this was DS2, but I know being realistic it would make no difference if I was pregnant with a daughter, I'd still be mumping about grumpy about heartburn and being as big as a whale and not being able to sleep. 

I didn't want to be pregnant at all with my first, so gender didn't really matter all that much, although I preferred a girl if I was going to be having a baby.  I think there are so many factors to being pregnant that GD is just another one that can bring you down.  The only way to beat GD is to pull yourself out of it basically.  If you let it consume you it will and you'll never be able to move on with life and let it go.  It's not an easy road and I still struggle daily, but I know for my own self health and for the well being of my family I just cannot let it take over my life.  I look at it like this.. I can miss out on all the good stuff happening now by wondering "what if" and letting it get to me and be resentful of my life, or I can accept what I have and enjoy it.  Our lives are so short I don't want to be 75 years old and mad at myself for letting my GD bring me down every day and making me not happy with this incredibly short life I've been given. Gender is just a way for us to make a baby.  It does not rule our lives, it does not make us better than any other person.  I believe it's natural to want/desire a certain gender over another.. It's human nature, the problem comes in when we dwell on it and let it take over our lives.  Only we have the power to control how we feel about things.  I just do my best every day to not let my jealousy/anger/whatever you want to call it get the best of me.  My boys will only be little for a short amount of time.  If I spend all my time wallowing about my hard to achieve daughter I will miss out on their early years.  I decided a while back I wasn't going to let that happen and every day I remind myself of that decision.  I still want a girl.  I still long for a girl, but I will not let that get in the way of my enjoyment of my sons.

Saxophonic:

I didn't want to be pregnant at all with my first, so gender didn't really matter all that much, although I preferred a girl if I was going to be having a baby.  I think there are so many factors to being pregnant that GD is just another one that can bring you down.  The only way to beat GD is to pull yourself out of it basically.  If you let it consume you it will and you'll never be able to move on with life and let it go.  It's not an easy road and I still struggle daily, but I know for my own self health and for the well being of my family I just cannot let it take over my life.  I look at it like this.. I can miss out on all the good stuff happening now by wondering "what if" and letting it get to me and be resentful of my life, or I can accept what I have and enjoy it.  Our lives are so short I don't want to be 75 years old and mad at myself for letting my GD bring me down every day and making me not happy with this incredibly short life I've been given. Gender is just a way for us to make a baby.  It does not rule our lives, it does not make us better than any other person.  I believe it's natural to want/desire a certain gender over another.. It's human nature, the problem comes in when we dwell on it and let it take over our lives.  Only we have the power to control how we feel about things.  I just do my best every day to not let my jealousy/anger/whatever you want to call it get the best of me.  My boys will only be little for a short amount of time.  If I spend all my time wallowing about my hard to achieve daughter I will miss out on their early years.  I decided a while back I wasn't going to let that happen and every day I remind myself of that decision.  I still want a girl.  I still long for a girl, but I will not let that get in the way of my enjoyment of my sons.

samanthagrace:

I was ecstatic with my first pregnancy... I didn't care what I had... it was all soo exciting.  However, since our first son my husband and I have desperately wanted a little girl so my pregnancies with DS #2, #3 & #4 have not had the same excitement.  I have struggled at times.  I am still struggling with DS#4....

But I can tell you when each of them arrived & I held them in my arms.... I was so in love... it only took a matter of hours for ALL of them!  I wish that you weren't feeling so sad.  Good Luck!

ditto

i have wondered that alot with this pregnancy and the last one also. i would love to know how it feels to say  yes i am having my girl. but i have to just accept that i may never say thoes words and it really tears me up and i cry and cry in my private time. i love this little baby so much and i am excited to meet him but it will always be at the back of my mind. I dont think having a girl is so much more better than having a boy i have just always wanted each and i dont want tons of kids but i dont want to say what if i would have had one more.

When I was pregnant with my first, I told everyone that I wanted a girl, and if it was a boy I was pushing it back in

Then at the 20 week scan I was told I was having a boy.

It took me awhile to process the information and I was gutted.

My son is seven now, and he and his little brother are my world. I can't imagine life before them, I won't imagine life without them. They are my life!

When I was told at the 20 weeks scan for my second that it was another boy, I held it together for an hour, then I sobbed. He is 1 and a half now and I wouldn't want to swap him for all the girls in the world.

I often wonder how it would be if I was pregnant with a girl, I imagine a pregnancy with no tears, no sadness and all joy! I am pregnant with my third and I just *know* it's a boy but I refuse to find out. I don't want to go through another pregnancy with a part of my heart so sad, so I'd rather not know until I am holding him in my arms.

I know you must feel very let down now and finding it hard to enjoy your pregnancy but I hope with all my heart that when your son is born, he will bring you as much joy as my boys have brought me.

All the very best to you xxoo

 OP, I kwym.  With DS1, I was just relieved to be pregnant (he was my clomid baby), even though I wanted a girl, I figured my next one would be a girl.  With DS2, I had no excitement, and just kept telling myself that at least DS1 would have a brother close in age, so tried to spin that as the positive.  With DS3, I was downright depressed.  I did not even decorate a room for him.  I emptied the guest room closet, moved all the baby stuff into it, and put a crib in the room, everything else is still the same (it's a very girly room).  I have never cried so much in my life like I did during my pregnancy with DS3.  I totally know the feeling of feeling robbed of happiness.  I am actually never happy while pregnant.  With DS1, I was so scared of miscarriage, I had unexplained spotting.  DS2, I was also scared, plus upset that I was having another boy.  DS3, I was very hopeful before my u/s that it was a girl and then crushed after my 20 wk u/s, and cried for the remaining 20 wks.  Plus, I have the lovely experience of hyperemesis with EACH of my pregnancies.  I feel like I suffered a lot with my 3 pregnancies and it's not fair that after all of that, I still did not end up with a girl.  However, I guess that is just the fact of life, it's not fair, it's a bitter pill to swallow.

If I were getting my DG I would be so relieved becaue I would feel that I had the option to stop having kids. This pregnancy is so hard lately. I feel out of breath and fatigued. On top of that I may have gestational diabetes. I'm worried that I won't be motivated to have another. :(