** UPDATE ON PG 2 ** Dog behaving badly - what would you do?

Please help me ladies, I am struggling with a decision here...

Have you seen the movie "Marley and Me"?

Well my DH and I did, and after that we decided to get another dog. We had already a 5-year-old Golden Retriever who's the PERFECT dog and we decided to get another Golden to keep him company. Well... it turned out that he's is a little "Marley". He's not even 1 yet (his birthday is on Thanksgiving) and he's been driving us crazy for this past year!!! He eats my DD's toys, shoes and just about anything we leave on the floor. He lays on the couch and gets everything dirty, ripped the kitchen's wallpaper and today he destroyed the carpet. He also got in the bathtub with dirty paws (the house is a mess) and ate my DD's soap. Spanking doesn't help and I don't know what to do with him anymore! My DH is traveling so much for work so I am stuck in the house to clean up the mess. I know that he's hyper because he's not getting enough exercise but the weather is getting really cold and I don't feel up for it with a 8mo pg belly. DH insists that we can get him under control but I thought we should have had that taken care of by now. I really want to give him up to a good home where he can get more attention and exercise to keep him from destroying everything in sight. I can't imagine having a baby in 2 months and having him around to lick the baby's face, waking him up (he's a licker AND a barker), eat his toys, snacks, etc!

What would you do? 

Attached is a picture of the "angel"... can you see the halo?

 obedience class to start.

any dog needs to know where they are in the pack.. yours.. does not.. if you can this is where i would start.. it is a fast way to get him trained and it will be a good thing ( he will get to get out and feel he is doing something! ) for the dog.

big dogs need to be walked ... 8 months pg. you can't do that.. but.. you can get on your coat.. and take 30 mins outside with him.. 

I have a feeling he isn't good with playing catch.. good at getting the ball. not so good at bringing it back.. the obedience class will help with this.. never run after a dog if he has something that you want.. only teaches the dog that he is higher up then you.. so .. if you throw something let him get it.. and sit down and let him do his thing with it.. mostlikelyhe will run around the yard a lot and wont listen to you if you call for him. which is fine.. the fact that he is running is a good thing!! he needs to get all this energy out.. if you can do this twice a day that would really help him with his anxiety.  

which is what it sounds like he has seeing as he is eating and destroying things... which is common for dogs that are bored

now.. you are 8 months pg.. a baby very soon on the way!! and a dog that doesn't behave.. I can't even imagine.. if you feel "guilty" about giving him up.. please do not..it is better to give him up to a good home then you and the dog being misserable.. sometimes youhave to make hard choices.. and gosh.. this is one.. 

getting the dog "help" will take a long time.. finding a good home not as much time. and this is a time sensitive issue..yes your dog is part of your family.. but.. sometimes.. it just doesn't work out

((Hugs)) 

 btw.. he is really cute!! we are hoping to add another dog to our family..just.. not anytime soon!!! lol gl hun

Thank you Diane!!

You have pretty good ideas... and you're right - I DO feel guilty giving him up because I am a firm believer that if you buy a pet it is your responsability to take care of it until the end. It makes me sick to walk into those animal shelters and see perfectly healthy and happy pets who were disgarded because for some reason they don't fit into their families anymore. So I would NEVER take him to a shelter. I just go back and forth with the decision to give him up because our house is up for sale right now and he keeps destroying it... room by room. I don't want to have to close all doors or restrain him. If I leave him in the backyard he digs holes and comes back filthy... I can try to give him short walks I guess but as soon as the snow comes that will stop. Maybe I can tie him to the threadmill?

Well I will have a long talk with my DH when he comes back from this trip - if he really doesn't want to get rid of Cody then we will see if he can board him while he's gone. Thanks for your support!

 From what I know of Labs and retrievers they are a little more hyper in the beginning. Maybe cage training the dog so you have a place for him to go when he acts out. Many dogs are cage trained while their keepers are at work. Its not cruel. 

Also many animals change for the better when you bring a baby home. They can just sense it usually. So maybe his act will change when the baby gets there and if not maybe then take desperate measures. 

I'm not much of a dog person but if I were you, I would look at how the family feels about him.  Goes your DH love and interact with him?  Will your DC miss him or be happy his toys are not getting destroyed anymore.  Do you enjoy his company at all, or would you be relieved if he were gone.  I am not one who believes in getting rid of animals for no reason but if your family isn't loving him and enjoying him, it might be something to consider.  He is a beautiful little dog, I bet you could find him another home if needed. 

Pixie97 - Yes we do have a cage that we used with our first dog when he was a puppy and with Cody for a while but my DH doesn't like it because it's getting too small for him. He would rather leave him confined in a room - the only thing is that he barks! I suppose we can try the cage again if everything else fails. I didn't think about that - thanks for the idea!

MyNana - We were all soooo excited to get Cody! My DD1 is a teenager so even though she likes him she doesn't have the time or interest to spend time and take care of him. Now she is getting annoyed also with his behaviour. DD2 was having some problems with him when we came back from our 2-month trip to Brazil. He was growling at her and bit her once - DH was very firm about it and stopped that right away. That would have been a deal breaker for me! I could not live with an agressive dog especially with young kids. Now she is learning how to deal with him and the right tone of voice to use. I am sure she would miss him but it wouldn't be so bad. Now my DH would be crushed since he's been investing all this time on training Cody and the idea of getting another dog was his. He also loves that our 2 dogs interact so well together even though their personalities are so different. Cody is as hyper as can be - Luke is the most mellow and obedient dog you could ever ask for. Granted, when we bought Luke we didn't have any kids (my oldest DD was living in Brazil with my family) so he got lots of attention, exercise and training. Also I believe that he had better parents - so pretty and behaved. I remember Cody's parents - they were a little suspicious IYKWIM. Anyway I also would like to keep him but when he behaves badly like that (especially with my pregnant hormones) I just want him OUT of here!!!

The crazy thing is that today he seems to know that he's walking on thin ice with me... he's been following me around the house all day with a sad puppy dog face as if he was saying "mommy please I promise I'll be good - don't get rid of me". Geeezzz!!!

Here's another picture - of the first time I held Cody. I was the one who made the final decision and picked him!!

brazilian_mommy:

. I can try to give him short walks I guess but as soon as the snow comes that will stop. Maybe I can tie him to the threadmill?

actually.. that threadmill is not a bad idea!! and again.. it really doesn't have to be walks if you can't.. but him knowing you are there playing can help. liek I said. evenjust throwing a ball and you sitting can help.. 

but I do think he needs to learn his roll in the pack first and farmost.. the rest will help to tire him out.. but will not resolve his problems completely..getting help training him will take some money but it is much fast then you doing it on your own.. you are time sensitive here..

((Hugs))

cage training is also another option.. but this takes time and patience also.. and if the cage is too small this is not good at all.. 

labs are very hyper as pups.. and need strong obedience ASAP.. 

I would consider another home, especially if you are having to resort to spanking.  We recently took in a dog that my neighbor was giving away.  This dog was not a good match for her, and sometimes that happens.  So we took her in, and couldn't be happier.  She "fits" with us.  The dog likes kids and being in the middle of all the chaos of a family.  The lady who owned her previously lives alone and her house is quiet.  So, it was a win-win for everyone.

Your dog would undoubtedly find someone that he clicks with, especially since he is a purebred, there are tons of rescue groups that specialize in finding particular breeds good homes.  Don't feel guilty because you may be doing him a favor, by placing him with a family that he "fits" with.  Good luck.

I feel your pain. I have a lab that's 2 years old and he's extremely hyper, tears stuff up, he's like a puppy..A lady down the road breeds them told me they are hyper until 4 years old and then they'll start to settle down. I try to punish him and he thinks I am playing. I am at a loss of words of what to do for him. I love the lil booger but he does get under my skin. lol I would take him for training and see if that helps.

I haven't read the replies so I am sorry if this is a repeat but first of all he needs exercise.  I have labs and when they were puppies if we didn't exercise them a ton (at least an hour a day of hard running) then they were going to chew and be bad dogs.  I know this sounds more like an obedience thing but it isn't, it is a lack of exercise and you definitely know that because you said that yourself.  Unless you are willing to exercise the dog I don't see the situation getting any better as long as he is young.  Don't take offense to that it is just the way it is with dogs that are retrievers.  That is what they are naturally trained to do and that is what they need in order to feel like they are satisfied with life.  

If I were in your shoes being preggo and a not having enough time to spend with the dog I would give it away to a family that does have time to spend with it.  The fact that you are always frustrated with him does not help the situation and I am sure he would rather be in a home that was able to care for him like you want to.  It is so hard to own pets but it is so good that you are recognizing that this isn't working for you guys.  BIG HUGS!!  That would be so hard!

I don't have any more advice just wanted to say good luck with your decision and try not to feel guilty either way.  We had to give our 6 month old  Himalayan kitten to my SIL because he was biting my 2 yr old DS on the toe , destroying the furniture with his teeth and tripping me on the stairs when I was very pregnant.  I still feel guilty about it to this day but don't regret the decision.  He is a happy cat now because he is in a home that he can destroy.  

MyNana:

He is a happy cat now because he is in a home that he can destroy.  

That last sentence made me smile for some reason...

Thank you all so much for your kind words! I actually just got done talking to my DH on the phone (he's away on a work trip) and he's sick to his stomach with the idea of giving Cody up. He feels like a failure since he'd never given away a pet before. But he agreed with me on starting to look for a good home for him - but for different reasons. He said that he could try to discipline him and maybe even cage him once in a while but the problem is that he sometimes growls at Sabrina (as I mentioned before even bit her once). We even had a close couple of friends who stopped coming over because Cody growled at their kids. So he doesn't trust him with young kids and someone told him that this is a flaw that can't be fixed. It's just the dog's nature. So he wants to contact our local SPCA to see how to go about finding a home for him and make sure it doesn't have little kids because he could not forgive himself if Cody ever bit a kid and we knew that it could happen, YKWIM?

So we will start looking at our options... I really REALLY want the best for him and will use this as a lesson learned to think about a million times before getting another pet again. It's just that our older Golden Retriever is so perfect that we thought we could have another one of those.

Which makes me confused on some of the posts here... why are you guys referring to him as a Labrador? Does he not look like a Golden Retriever? I have seen his parents and even though they were not the best-looking out there, they were both Golden for sure! But he does look a little different (less hairy and more boxy) than our other dog.

Here are the two of them together on the SPCA Dog Walk earlier this year... It will be hard to break up this friendship...

 Awww I think you are making the right choice because all of you will be happy in the end!  

brazilian_mommy:

why are you guys referring to him as a Labrador? Does he not look like a Golden Retriever?

Well tomorrow a friend of one of my brazilian friends is going to stop by to meet him and she will bring her two kids (ages 11 and 7) to see how they interact. Wow I didn't think I was going to get someone interested so fast! And my DH is still traveling... Now I am getting nervous These pets become family members and it's really hard to let them go. I will update you guys later. Thanks for all your messages! 

 Because you fear that he could bite a child in the future do you think it's the best idea for him to go to a family with children?