Friend found out gender of her baby four days ago...

and she hasn't called me. SO is it safe to assume she is having a girl?

I think I feel worse that she is afraid to tell me than that I am actually going to have yet another friend that is having a daughter.

DO I just look that pathetic having only boys?  I feel ..... I don;t know what I feel . Pathetic , I guess just really pathetic.

I think she would have called if it was a boy. I have known her for years and she is even going to make me god mother to one of her children.

I don't speak of gender disappointment to my real life friends. I mean she knows that I was slightly disappointed finding out DS2 was not a girl but I made it sound like I was totally over it after the initial shock wore off. THat was five years ago.

She calls me practically every day.

I know she wanted a boy and was convinced it had to be a boy because a psychic told her it was and the fact her husband is to masculine to father a daughter . Weird I know.

Could she be having a hard time with it?  I mean maybe she's trying to 'spare' you, but maybe it's your friend that's having the issues and she's not even thinking about you.  Or could they have gotten other bad news about the baby?  I dunno....

urbanwifey:

Could she be having a hard time with it?  I mean maybe she's trying to 'spare' you, but maybe it's your friend that's having the issues and she's not even thinking about you.  Or could they have gotten other bad news about the baby?  I dunno....

I was thinking the exact same thing 

I think the opposite I am sorry. I think that she is not calling you because she got what she wanted (reqardless of which gender) and doesn't want to offend you that she got what she wanted and you may not get what you wanted, thats how a true friend would act.

So I say she got her boy that she longed for and doesnt wnat to upset you by gloating.

 Please report back when you find out....

urbanwifey:

Could she be having a hard time with it?  I mean maybe she's trying to 'spare' you, but maybe it's your friend that's having the issues and she's not even thinking about you.  Or could they have gotten other bad news about the baby?  I dunno....

Ditto

And I have to disagree with Leah....  I think a real friend would call you no matter what.  I think Urbanwifey is onto something!

Keep us updated!

urbanwifey:

Could she be having a hard time with it?  I mean maybe she's trying to 'spare' you, but maybe it's your friend that's having the issues and she's not even thinking about you.  Or could they have gotten other bad news about the baby?  I dunno....

Ditto

And I have to disagree with Leah....  I think a real friend would call you no matter what.  I think Urbanwifey is onto something!

Keep us updated!

urbanwifey:

Could she be having a hard time with it?  I mean maybe she's trying to 'spare' you, but maybe it's your friend that's having the issues and she's not even thinking about you.  Or could they have gotten other bad news about the baby?  I dunno....

Ya , I was thinking she isn;t even thinking about me. I hope. We don't talk about gender. SHe knows I was over the moon my first son was a boy. SO it's not like I always wanted a girl.

Maybe she didn't find out.

I know I have to mentally prepare myself to say the right thing. I really don't want to blow it by letting my GD get out of control.

I think she would be sad if it's a girl. I think she always wanted a boy . SHe has always had his named picked out . SHe even said if it's a girl she would be screwed.

SO I guess I have to make a big deal about how great it is to have a girl to lift her up all the while wishing it were me.

Life sure is funny.

If its a girl what should I say other than congratulations? I don't want it to come off pained or fake. I guess I could say. "I am so excited I can buy something pink" Or does that sound stupid?

No that sounds about right. Just say, "Yay Iam excited to finally be able to buy some pink!" (Since you have boys..) Personally I think its a girl and shes sad that it isn't a boy. Shes not calling not because you want a girl sooo badly, but because she didnt get what she wanted. It may take her a little time to adjust to it. Or it could be that they found something wrong with the baby. Was this the 20 weeks u/s or earlier?

Melpomene:

SO I guess I have to make a big deal about how great it is to have a girl to lift her up all the while wishing it were me.

No, you don't have to do that, nor should you. Maybe something along the lines of: "Congrats! Doesn't it feel more real knowing what it is?! You'll love being a Mom. And I think you'll make a great one."

I'd keep gender out of it for both your sensitivities' sake.

Melpomene:

I guess I could say. "I am so excited I can buy something pink" Or does that sound stupid?

Yes, it sounds stupid to ME , but that is just cause I hate the stereotypes that

comes along with girls in pink & boys in blue - boys with tools and girls with tea-pots

and bla bla - and if your friend did not want a daughter to begin with I am not

sure that she fancies the whole "pink & frilly" clothing therapy either IYKWIM?

More likely she would want cute, gender neutral stuff; maybe in soft pastels like

yellow and brown. There are just so many cute things out there that is not the "pink"!

If I were in your shoes I would probably say that "A girl, oh thats great -

you will love having a baby so much , you have so much to look forward too" (which is true

no matter their gender).

loopylou:

Do you know what I would do, give her a call and ask her how her ultrasound went, maybe she is waiting for your call. Just say how did it go did you find what you are having?then you can have an honest chat that you were worried about her, if she has gd you can offer her support and say how you felt. Come on girls, if your friends just support each other, call her x

I would have called her TBH.  It's very possible that something went wrong or that she's feeling very low having not got the gender she desired...  We ALL know how crappy that feels - so although it might be a girl, that is clearly not her preference and whilst it may be yours, at least you know exactly how she might be feeling right now.

Call her and find out - she may need you to reach out to her and be wondering why you haven't done so.

SevenfromHeaven:

loopylou:

Do you know what I would do, give her a call and ask her how her ultrasound went, maybe she is waiting for your call. Just say how did it go did you find what you are having?then you can have an honest chat that you were worried about her, if she has gd you can offer her support and say how you felt. Come on girls, if your friends just support each other, call her x

I would have called her TBH.  It's very possible that something went wrong or that she's feeling very low having not got the gender she desired...  We ALL know how crappy that feels - so although it might be a girl, that is clearly not her preference and whilst it may be yours, at least you know exactly how she might be feeling right now.

Call her and find out - she may need you to reach out to her and be wondering why you haven't done so.

I hope there's nothing wrong with her baby. Maybe it's not gender related at all. You don't think she got devastating news or anything, do you? just a thought, but hope not.....

It is possible she needs you to reach out to her to support her. It's true, that's what friends are for. I just hope she got a good report on the baby and it's healthy.