Scientific studies aside....

.... does anyone think that swaying - no matter how extreme - just won't work for some people? I am wondering about this. I say this because I know that there are many people on this board who have swayed two or three times or more (keeley) and still got the opposite of what they were swaying for. Just a thought. Has anyone had a sway that didn't work but you will still go on to try to sway again? It seems like there is no one anywhere on these forums who has had a successful sway after a failed sway or sways....

Well Dylsmom is finally having a girl after a few failed sways...only this time she did NO SWAYING at all...go figure!

Just proves to me what a bunch of bunk swaying is, and to answer the original question, no , I will not be swaying again ever.  I'll do hi tech or nothing. Swaying was just a waste of time.

I think that with exception of those with genetic issues that cause them to miscarriage a certain gender everyone is capable of making both boys and girls. I'm not a huge believer in swaying (don't think it can raise your chances for your desired gender *that* much, but I do think it may make a few percentage points difference). If you flip a coin 100,000 times you will probably have a streak of 10 heads in a row somewhere in there. I completely understand why someone who had 10 of one gender would feel that they were incapable of having the other, but I just think it's statistics. It has to happen to someone. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Having trouble putting it in words.

Oh, you're right about Dylsmom. Now that I think about it, I think there might be one or two more who that happened to as well - they didn't sway and in fact I think they were oops babies! Yup, go figure! I just feel like IF we were to try again there really is not much point in swaying. Hamburgerplease, I do see what you're saying and I do know what you mean about statistics. I guess if we all kept on having children we'd get our desired gender eventually!

I watched a great show a couple of months ago called 'The Great Sperm Race' or something along those lines on the Discovery Channel.  I don't believe after seeing it anyone would believe that out of 250 million sperm that comes out of a man during bd, that we would have any control over which one or two actually arrive at the egg (and which one  of those two or three actually fertilize the egg) !  It was a really fascinating show about the long and very very arduous journey the sperm go on after sex!

Good luck to everyone.

MyDreamBabi:

Well Dylsmom is finally having a girl after a few failed sways...only this time she did NO SWAYING at all...go figure!

LOL, MDB is right.  The sway that I did with son #4 was WAY more girl friendly than when I conceived this one. I wasn't swaying at all!  If swaying "the odds" was the only way for me to get a girl, trust me I would not be having a girl.  It really is a roll of the dice, I'm convinced of that now! 

If you are a mom of 1 boy, or 10, you have a chance of having a girl, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!!

 brookk5 is another that I don't think swayed at all and she just had her baby girl after 3 boys.  Sometimes I think it is just luck and other times I think you can sway the odds but just by a few percentage points.

I'm also a believer that anyone can have both genders - even someone with 10 girls can go on to have a boy and vice versa.  Because you can toss a coin 10 times and get the same result each time.  It's not the norm, but it can absolutely happen...

eradan:

I watched a great show a couple of months ago called 'The Great Sperm Race' or something along those lines on the Discovery Channel.  I don't believe after seeing it anyone would believe that out of 250 million sperm that comes out of a man during bd, that we would have any control over which one or two actually arrive at the egg (and which one  of those two or three actually fertilize the egg) ! 

SO TRUE!  I thought about that after I swayed with boy #4.  I mean that is a heck of a lot of sperm to have control over the one that wins the egg.  I think it gives us some type of feeling of control, but in the end we aren't in control, you know?  I'll have to check out that show if they repeat it, it sounds interesting!!

Heather JJ:

It seems like there is no one anywhere on these forums who has had a successful sway after a failed sway or sways....

Оf course, because they get want they want and move on! The GD forum is not a representative sample of swaying results.

MyDreamBabi:

Well Dylsmom is finally having a girl after a few failed sways...only this time she did NO SWAYING at all...go figure!

Just proves to me what a bunch of bunk swaying is, and to answer the original question, no , I will not be swaying again ever.  I'll do hi tech or nothing. Swaying was just a waste of time.

I feel this way too!

As a person who has tried swaying twice (one "soft" sway and another "extreme" sway) and "failed" twice, it is hard to have much faith in swaying.  As others have said, I honestly believe that if we all have 20 kids then we would see more balanced families.  Just look at the Duggars.  BUT most of us will stop at 3,4, or maybe 5 kids... so we never really get to see how our odds would have played out.  It is not that uncommon to flip a quarter and get tails 3 or 4 times in a row.  If we ttc again naturally (we are considering HT), I won't go crazy with a sway.  I will do things differently than I did from my 2 boys just b/c I am superstitious... but no more crazy things like lime juice, TBM, etc.  BUT I honestly think it is just chance. 

Heather JJ:

.... does anyone think that swaying - no matter how extreme - just won't work for some people? I am wondering about this. I say this because I know that there are many people on this board who have swayed two or three times or more (keeley) and still got the opposite of what they were swaying for. Just a thought. Has anyone had a sway that didn't work but you will still go on to try to sway again? It seems like there is no one anywhere on these forums who has had a successful sway after a failed sway or sways....

 

I am someone who swayed twice unsuccessfully ( for a girl ) then went on to have a successful sway. My first 2 were  low key sways. The first was a comparitively small alteration in diet, supplements and Shettles ( 1-2 day cutoff ). My second was Shettles ( 5 day cuttoff ) alone. These resulted in my 2 ds's ( Lucky me !). My third sway was a very strict diet, supplements for me and dh, TBM, lime douche ,moon phases, astrological phases, frequent bd'ing to a 36 hour cuttoff. heat, alterations in diet for DH and some lifestyle changes for DH ( jocks, increased alcohol, excercise,  long hot baths - but he simply refused to take up smoking, we agreed on a cigar a week). This resulted in a DD.

But again, in every situation there is a substantial element of chance. Having been watching swaying boards for over 10 years in total ( 8 of these years very seriously ) as well as doing a lot of external research I have very much come to the conclusion we can alter the odds from the approximately 50/50 we start with. How much is the big question. Minor changes, as I did with ds 1 and ds2, only, I believe, alter the odds by a few percentage points at most ( and I have since discovered that the evidence is that 5 day cuttoffs favour boys anyway ) and I probably would not be inclined to bother at all. Even with a very involved sway like dd I think the odds are probably somewhere around 60 - 65% success, maybe a bit higher, so there still is  a very high likelihood of an opposite.

You have to go into lowtech ( same applies to Microsort without PGD ) being totally prepared for an opposite. But, of course, this is way easier said then done. Some have found that they have been able to accept an opposite better if they swayed ( or did MS ) as they feel they have, at least, tried, but , unfortunately, the opposite seems to apply more often. Because you tried so hard it is harder to accept. You also feel that you can never conceive the desired gender ( which is not true at all, a really successful sway can still result in an opposite, by that big element of chance ).

There is no proof swaying works. But there is a huge amount of evidence for it being able to alter the odds. You have to go into it knowing that it is not easy ( the diet is really tough ), it will probably take you longer to get pregnant, there are potentially health risks ( eg the diet is not healthy, douching can cause infections ), and even then there is no proof you are  altering the odds at all. So it's not for everyone. Hey, that's why I did 6 (  failed ) IVF/PGD cycles first! But, at the same time, for many people, I think it is definitely worth giving it a solid go. OK , it may be all hocus pocus and a complete waste of time but the evidence very much supports that you can alter the odds a bit. So, in terms of the  end result, it  makes no difference to most but it also makes make a huge difference to some.

I do get a bit frustrated by comments like " so and so had 2 failed sways then conceived the desired gender without swaying therefore swaying is debunked". We could just as easily argue that " so and so's " first 2 sways were actually successful and the last one was the unsuccessful one. But that big element of chance altered the end result at the moment of conception.Or maybe 60 % X sperm and 40% Y sperm were all competing to get in that egg on each of the 3 occasions so they were all equally successful sways. But lady luck had a hand. Two unsuccessful sways followed by an unswayed success does, by no means, debunk swaying.

I think another comment that frustrated me ( this was ages ago on the low tech forum ) was a heartbroken poster who had had an unsuccessful sway who posted something along the lines of " I did all my research, I did the perfect sway and I was 99% sure I would get my girl ". Well if she did do all her research  she would know that there was no way she could have 99% odds of a daughter. That her odds were certainly no better than 80% and probably more the 60 - 65% mark. You could feel her pain in her post, though, and I did feel so sorry for her. Statistics do mess with our brains though and everyone interprets them in such different ways.

Being on a gender disaapointment forum, obviously inundated with unsuccessful sways, does very much give the impression swaying does not work. But it is so great to see such a good success rate on the lowtech forums. So hang in there all you lowtechers. It may make the difference in the end!

Charlotte 2ds 1dd

The problem is, most of us only attempt swaying after having 2-3-4 or more of the opposite gender.  So we (and hubbies) personally are probably a lot more 'set' for producing a kid of that gender than the average person is.  You are not dealing with a pure representative sample on InGender, in fact you're dealing with a set of extremes.  It's not unreasonable to expect that there would actually be more failed sways on InGender than there would be in the general population.

Furthermore, I honestly feel that the stress and obsessiveness of the act of swaying itself affects hormones dramatically, so those who may have had the 'best sway' were actually setting ourselves up for conceiving a boy.  This can help moms who want boys, but not so much for those of us who want girls.  Many IG boy moms have gone onto have a 'surprise' girl pregnancy after a failed sway - once the stress was removed from the equation, their internal environment changed.  This does not disprove swaying and in fact may help to prove it. 

Also, the entire notion of gender swaying involved so many different things, some of which probably do sway, some of which probably don't sway, some of which sway only under certain circumstances, and some of which may even sway in the opposite direction.  We are far from having swaying figured out.  Does that mean that we shouldn't at least try it - well, that's up to each individual person to decide.  But I do promise you that we (and science) are closer now to unraveling the mysteries of gender rato than at any point in human history.

Finally, there is a huge luck factor involved in swaying.  If you started off with 70-30 odds at having a daughter (meaning if you had ten children, you'd have 7 boys and 3 girls), and then by swaying you get yourself to 60-40 odds (if you have 10 children you'd have 6 girls and 4 boys), still, 40% of the time you'd have a boy.  That doesn't mean swaying doesn't work, just that it's not 100% - that's why it's called swaying and not "guaranteeing".   My husband and I both have brown eyes, and according to the laws of genetics that means we should statistically have brown eyed children 3 out of 4 times.  But we don't, we actually have 2 blue eyed children and only one brown eyed.  This doesn't render the laws of genetics in error just because it didn't happen that way in our family.   

In order to really know if certain aspects of swaying work, you would need to isolate each individual factor of swaying and test for it in a random population, with as many variables controlled for as is possible.  We cannot do that here on InGender, this is friends helping friends, our statistics are self-reported and unreliable and all of us are just doing the best we can to piece together the evidence and tease out what works and what doesn't.  But scientists can and are doing just that, there are literally hundreds of studies from reputable sources that support many of the basic ideas underlying swaying.   The evidence is really reaching a tipping point, where it's not going to be able to be ignored any longer. 

Unfortunately, not only is the idea of choosing the gender of your child not considered at all PC, the research is not high on the priority list of many scientists, many of whom prefer to focus their energies on things like curing cancer and preventing heart disease, and it's certainly not on the agenda of many REs, who are making big $$ on high tech procedures and have no interest in discovering cheaper and less invasive ways to select gender.  So most of the available research is coming from kooks or charlatans, or from other scientific disciplines like evolutionary biology or veterinary medicine, rendering it a lot less useful for us than it would be otherwise.  No one, aside from us and a handful of con artists selling vitamins, have any interest in figuring out the practical side of the equation.  Again, this doesn't mean swaying doesn't work, just that we haven't figured it all out yet. 

       

kristindoggirl:

The problem is... most of the available research is coming from kooks or charlatans   

Finally....something we both agree with