For those who have seperated from their children's father

 I've been thinking for a while about leaving my husband, with hopes that it may lighten up my GD. He is not the ideal man I want for myself or a great role model for the kids. Basically, I know I wouldn't want the boys to end up being like him one day. It's part of the reason why I have GD. I had a great grandfather and father but my brother can be total scum and my husband has totally ruined my faith in men. For some reason I thought if DS3 was a girl, things would change and maybe I could learn to deal with things I cannot let go. But I feel like I'd appreciate the boys more if their father wasn't involved. Anyone else been through this? I still haven't made up my mind. Some days I think this will all be fine but I'm thinking until I'm proactive, the kids and I will only be suffering. I just hate the idea of doing it on my own (I'd have family help of course) just incase it didn't help my GD. So many of you seem like you have support for your GD, and other than here, I have none.

I would love to hear what people say about this one i have been having conflicting emotions toward my DP lately and have thought about a trial seperation but like you i am scared to do it on my own and also being a stay at home mum i have no money to do it either. I feel so trapped. Mine has nothing really to do with GD more LD (life disappointment) I have had a lot going on in my head and just think that it would be easier to seperate than to really work it out. I am sorry that i havent helped you but i have no one to turn to IRL. I hope you find the info you need. Thanks

I did divorce the father of my first 2 sons. It had nothing to do with GD though...if you want to PM me I can go into greater detail about what it was like for me...at the moment I have to chase my 14 month old, but I can try tonight! Good luck sweetie!

 I did it last year and I have never felt so alive.  I have my bright future in front of me and I can choose any path I like now (I'm starting nursing at university next year and I can't wait), and with no procrastinating partner to hold me back. :-) My kids are so well behaved now that their mother is happy now!!!  It has been over a year since I've cried.

For the Australians on here: In Australia, centrelink will actually start paying you FTB and parenting payment single while you are still living with your DP (though you have to have broken up, have separate bedrooms and not live as a couple anymore. ie. no outings together etc. If you  and your dp decide to separate go to c.link and get the form called 'separated under the same roof'. I was then able to save up my bond money and a lot extra for my move, with out borrowing money from anyone.

I broke up my DP when I was prenant with #4 and moved out after the birth (as we'd planned).  It was all very amicable.  Have a few chats with your DH about the fact that your not getting on anymore, that you are no longer compatible, and that you would BOTH be happier apart, and he may actually agree.  But what ever you do don't bame him for all of your problems ( tell your family this if you need to vent), telling him off won't make him behave any better, it will just make him mad.  If you can get him to agree that you should separate, it will be a lot easier than leaving a war zone. 

I was scared about the possibility of feeling lonely for the rest of my life if I left my dp but now I have left, I actually feel great and much less lonely than I did when I was with him, that's for sure.

I haven't known many good men either.  where are they all? pm me if you want.  I'd be glad to chat further,

Wow I was thinking the same think but DH is an excellent father sometimes lousy husband he is very old fashioned and it aggravates me. DS1 is in love with his daddy and DS2 is starting down the same path if I'm a work late I come home they are bathed and fed in our bed because he likes them to sleep in there. i have conflicting feelins. He is a great provider and supports my getting a PhD but times i wanna stab him. LOL mull it over

 i seperated from my 2 eldest sons farther when the then youngest was only 18months, nothing to do with GD tho basically i didnt like the way he was with the kids n how everything centred around him n wot he did, ifany of you would like to talk in detail the plz inbox me. Since we split 3 yrs ago ive had yet another boy praying for my girl, things are so much better i spent a yr as a single mum which in my opinion was hard work but i had good support from friends and family, id honestly say you sgould sit and talk it over see how things go, dont be too drastic about it. x

Its so hard to give advice on this, but your husband doesn't sound like a very nice person and from what you describe, a horrible role model. You need to listen to that voice inside. I think that the other ladies on here have given you great advice.

 Thanks ladies! I just really want my little guys to grow up being the kind of men we all dream of one day.Then maybe I wouldn't mind being the all boy mom so much 

 all we can do huni is give advice on our own personal experiences you must do wot u think is best for you and your boys, it will be hard work i still now 3 yrs later get asked questions about thier daddy not as much but sumtimes, i hope you do woy u think os best we are here for your support hunny, xx