Is anyone else here glad when you're not the only one disappointed by baby's gender?

 I know some people's GD worsens when someone else is also disappointed at the gender of their (first person's) baby, feeling like they've let someone down (whether it's about not "giving your significant other his little man/little girl" or whatever).

 But does anyone else here feel validated when you're disappointed about the gender, and someone else is disappointed about the baby's gender too?

Does any of that make any sense to anyone who isn't me?

 I was just thinking about how it was interesting that my mom admitted to me that she was hoping I'd have a girl too. I knew she'd been incredibly supportive when I called to tell her it was a boy, and didn't make me feel like a horrible person at all for not just being happy to have a healthy baby, but I didn't know til Friday (I found out last Monday) that she had also wanted me to have a girl, and it felt good to have someone be disappointed right with me, even if it wasn't quite to the extent of my own disappointment. It's nice that my boyfriend is supportive of me and doesn't like to see me hurting, but it's not the same, because he didn't really care about the gender.

 I don't really know why I'm asking, I'm just curious.

Its such a relief to have someone to share it all with IRL,Im glad that you do. So many come to IG because they dont have any one else to share it with.

good luck with your new baby

 I think is relieving to go through it with someone. However it doesn't make me love the child I'm carrying, maybe in time, but it is proving theraputic

It would be nice to be validated by someone IRL....

DH thinks 3 DS is great

MIL thinks DH can't make girls

FIL thinks 4 kids is too many so we should stop trying

Sister, Mother, Friends give me the "as long as its healthy" speech all the time

Only people who understand me are on IG...

hurricanecek:

 But does anyone else here feel validated when you're disappointed about the gender, and someone else is disappointed about the baby's gender too?

YES!! Although- if just anyone off the street said "Oh boo! Another boy."  I'd punch them in the face. but there are a few key people like DH, my 2 closest girl friends when they said "Ooohhh, That's great for DS1 to have a brother, but how are YOU feeling?" It made me feel so much better!

It's validating not to be the only one that wishes it were a girl (even just a lil' bit). 

Also, my one friend who I told that I was experiencing GD is desperate for a boy.  (She's scared that she's doomed to have all girls.)  She's particularly great to talk to, because she keeps me grounded.  It reminds me that everyone has a different 'ideal' family.  For her, it's 4 boys.  For me it's a girl... just one, thrown in the mix somewhere. 

I was actually surprised that others being disappointed made me feel better.  With DS1 everyone wanted him to be a boy except me and it made my GD that much worse.  I was mad at everyone who wanted him to be a boy (which was 99% of family).  With DS2 everyone wanted him to be a girl.  I pretended not to care but I was just devastated.  Now at 40 and pregnant with DS3 (not planned), I am completely heartbroken.  There was no one who didn't want me to have a girl.  That is my only consolation, however slim it is.  The thoughts of raising another boy sicken me (DS1 is 14 and DS2 is 11).  I try not to think about it too much but it's rather hard with a kid squirming around in you belly.  I even dread ultrasounds.  I go to each one praying that the last US was wrong and they tell me it's a girl only to get "Oh yeah, it's a boy alright, I'm 100% sure of this one".  Maybe I'll get a granddaughter one day.

This makes me think of this friend I have.  She has 3 boys.  A friend of ours was having a 4th child (first three boys).  And all she said the entire time was how she hoped it was another boy.  Boys were so wonderful, blah, blah.   I felt like she was laying it on too thick.  It was almost mean.  I think is was mean.  I wanted the other friend to say to her, "Why, because misery loves company?"  

I guess overall there isn't too much you can say to someone with GD.  You can't praise the gender they don't want.  You can't praise the gender their not getting.  And you can't be gender neutral and praise the healthy baby.  It just hurts too much not matter what.   

As it turns out, the friend did have a 4th boy.