How old is "too old"???

MissKylie:

I am now 25 and she is almost 50.

 

I got you beat, i'm almost 31 and my mom is almost 53. 

 

aka...WHO CARES!!!!

 

I don't see anything wrong with having a baby at a later age...they always say the risk for certain disorders and such is much higher for older pregnant women, It's true BUT it's not always the case!  There are plenty of women 40+ who delivered perfectly normal babies, and there are younger moms who had babies with disorders!  Plus,  being 40 when your mom is 80 is plenty IMO, as long as you keep the relationship and spend whatever time there is..the time doesn't matter b/c anything CAN happen anytime..there are moms who are dying at 30 something years old! I just read an article about a mom who lost her life to cancer two months after giving birth to her baby...and she was only 34!  But she had the greatest moments with her little one right before she passed away and those moments to her were special...read this..http://askville.amazon.com/Trina-Nafzger-age-34-wife-Donald-Wade-Country-Oxford-died/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=56159358

What matters is the relationship b/w you and your parents and the special moments you have together regardless of the age difference and the time you have left on earth! Stop being judgemental PLEASE!

MissKylie:

I think anything over 35 is too old. I am extremely grateful that my mom had me young (she was married at 21, had my sister at 22 and had me and 24 had my last brother when she was 30), I am now 25 and she is almost 50. I LOVE having a young mom. I feel sorry for my friends whose mother are in the their late fifties! I want to be done having children at 30, which will be almost definate at this point.

 

Personally I don't think AGE is an issue as much as your health and your personal medical history.  If you've always an easy time conceiving, or if you've always lived a healthy lifestyle... I think these things are much bigger factors.  Also I have this personal theory that if you hit puberty later that things like 'advanced maternal age' and menopause happen later, in your body because your body hasn't been cycling as long as someone who hits puberty sooner.

In short, 32 ain't nothing but a number!

I think you have Many many baby making years left....32 is still really young!

I just turned 30, have one Ds who is 15 months now, but Dh and I plan to have 3 more...sure, I would love to have them all before I turn 36, but if it doesn't work out that way, then so be it...I'm still going to try well into my 40's if I have to.  I'm gonna try until I hit menapause if I have to, hehe. 

I don't think high 30's is too old to conceive at all.  That child will be loved and adored, and you'll still be a young mommy.  I wouldn't worry about it at all.  You have time to wait and if you are not financially ready now then having a baby now will just put uneeded stress on the family.  You have plenty of time for a baby...Just enjoy your Ds for now and be excited about expanding your family in the future

MissKylie:

I think anything over 35 is too old. I am extremely grateful that my mom had me young (she was married at 21, had my sister at 22 and had me and 24 had my last brother when she was 30), I am now 25 and she is almost 50. I LOVE having a young mom. I feel sorry for my friends whose mother are in the their late fifties! I want to be done having children at 30, which will be almost definate at this point.

 

I think this atttitude is VERY close minded!!! I would even exist if my mother had thought that way.  It is so easy for people to say that when they  or somone they know started having kids when they were 12!!  There are varying degrees of how biologically "old"  or young a woman can be, despite what the calender says.  Oh, and there are MANY eighty year olds who are active and do things with their daughters!!! Not everyone one meets the right person or has a life cirumstances when they are 22!!!  If a woman takes care of herself and eats well and gets an abundance of certain nutrients, she will greatly increase her chances of having a healthy child  and  preventing problems,even if she is older.  Its is WRONG of you to expect people to just let go of their dreams because they are over 35 !  35  for God sakes  . That is so pitifully young. 35 is not 55! I bet you would be singing a diffrent tune if you were 35+ and not yet a mother!!! This "stuff" ,to put it politely, is so easy for YOU to say! To say you feel sorry for your friends because they have older moms----- well I ALMOST feel sorry for you for having such a narrow opinion. Do you not care about the quality of their relationships?  Geez. You obviously have a very traditional view of aging. There are many things that a person can do to control how well they age, how active they are, etc. And that includes having a  healthy baby and a great relationship with their children

Well, Miss Kylie..you are entitled to your opinion, and I am to mine.

Actually I am grateful to my parents for having made a 'ready' environment for me to raised in. In the process, they had to be older. As long as I can remember, I was always proud that my mom was a univ. professor with tenure(mom had me at 36)...back in late 1970's Korea(on the economic rise, but was still quite poor after the Korean war), we were one of those those rare families who could afford two cars and a two-story brick house with a flowering garden. My parents are both 70 now and enjoying retired lives, while my aunt(younger than mom by 7 years) has been dead for 21 years. Her husband died at 60, so their only child(3 y older than I) has been already orphaned for a few years.

Surely age is something to be considered; but it's just God's decision that I wake up every morning.

Mom2RJA:

I had my first baby at 30 and just had my third at 38 (almost 39) and had my girl after two boys. You sound really young to me at 32!

 

Ditto for me :)  You are still young, although it's easier to say from where I stand.  

I think "too old" is the age when you cannot have another baby--that's why women hit menopause b/c they are too old to have more babies.  

To OP - Keep in mind that a lot of us are in EVEN BETTER positions to be parents in our 30's and 40's than in our 20's and younger. I, for one, am more financially stable, happier in my marriage, a more experienced and smarter and less judgmental person, and all around a happier gal. Happier, more compassionate, more experienced people make better parents, at any age. People are living longer and longer and having kids keeps you young! There is no reason to think, even if having a baby on the verge of menopause like my grandma did many many years ago, that you won't live to see your grand children and great-grandchildren - my grandma did! Thanks to all those who are positive and compassionate to our OP, who is a young spring chicken at only 32! :)

First of all you are not too old to try again. I am 33 and was 19 when we had our son. The first one we got pregnant 5 months after we got married and the second one we got pregnant 15 years later. If you are young at heart then go for it.

As far as Misskylie's remarks, (without trying to start a debate here) you never know how long you have with your children. You could be 19 and die in a car crash only having spent a tiny amount of time with your baby. To complain about somone being 80 when their child is 40 and them not having long to spend with you is ridiculous. We are never promised tomorrow. My husband's dad was 39 when he died and my husband was 16. He never got to teach him to drive or work on cars, come to our wedding, or meet our son. I think any child would feel blessed to just have a mom who loved them enough to have them.

I got some snickers at one of my child birth classes from some obviously inmature teens who thought I was too old to be there. In the end I will have the last laugh as I was there with my husband of 15 years and I know what to expect when I go in. They don't know what they are in for and don't have a support person. I will be alot more patient with this baby then I was when I was 19 and had my son. This baby will benefit from me getting older, calmer, and more in control of my feelings. She will also benefit from her father getting through some young inmaturities too and becoming a good man who is willing to work hard and support his family.

Go for it, it's never too late!

I think it's a personal decision, you're the one that has to deal with the night waking and the running around after toddlers.  I'm 39 and about to have my 3rd.  I would never have chosen to have children this late and my dh does keep reminding me how old we'll be when this one is 18 etc, but my age would never have stopped me.  I would have kept trying until I could try no more...I just didn't feel finished.

You do whatever you think is right and whatever you feel comfortable with and forget about everyone else's opinions.

I think that if you can ask for a senior discount at the same time that your child falls into the "age 3 and under eat free" category, you are probably too old.

Otherwise, I think age is just a number and as others have pointed out, you never know what will happen.

your to old once you hit menopause

If your family isn't complete then your not done.  period.

Tamara:

your to old once you hit menopause

If your family isn't complete then your not done.  period.

ITA

As long as you're younger than Abraham's wife, then you're still a spring chicken...I believe she was in her 90's when Issac was concieved

 Some people here have kind of been bashing on/judging younger mothers, which I feel isn't fair (though obviously I'm biased, since I'm 20). But even though I'm about to be a young mother (who judges what's young and old anyway? if your health and spirit are young, what else matters?) I don't have this "ewww over 30" or "ewww over 35" mentality that *some people* (ok, one person hahahaha) seem to have.

 If being an older mom works for you, and your doctors agree that you're capable (though at 32 you're still a ways off from any doctor "complaining", in most circumstances) then go for it. Just because I personally don't want to be a new mother at that age, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with those who do choose so. I believe that young mothers *can* provide stability and patience, and older mothers can provide energy and zest for life. 

 As long as you can take care of yourself and your baby, and you still have love to give (which usually isn't an issue), and you're doing it for  you & your family (including the baby-to-be), go for it.