Do/did you ever....

feel guilty for having GD w/ the your GD kids and wished you never had GD w/ them?  Did you ever get that feeling and feel so bad that it happened. I was told a baby disappointment story by someone today. He was telling me a story about a girl who got pregnant very young like at 18 or something, and didn't want the baby but kept her baby as her parents convinced her to...I was also told how the girl admitted to wanting to hurt her baby and prayed for a miscarriage and all these horrible things happening, however when the baby was born a few months back, the girl fell head over and heals in love w/ her baby girl and now regrets it and feels total guilt and wishes she was happy in the first place. She sometimes even cry about it because of the feelings she had towards her own child and felt really selfish about it, but good thing her feelings changed and she love her kid to death. I figured this was nearly the same w/ GD so I just asked..

I bitterly regret the feelings I had when I was expecting ds3. As soon as I found out it was another boy the excitement light switched off. I didnt want to buy clothes,toys or get anything ready.

There are no pictures of me pregnant, rubbing my bump,i didnt fill in the baby book or record first kicks etc. I never put the u/s pic in a frame on the side like I had the first two boys. There are not so many newborn snaps of bath time, first smile or him in all the little cute outfits. I even talked my mum out of knitting one of her special blue blankets for him because I already had two.

All things considered it was a pretty miserable time.

I fell deeply in love as soon as I got him in my arms but I still stayed in a haze of 'been there done that' as far as making up a baby keepsake box went. I concentrated on taking extra good care of him because I felt so guilty.

21/2 yrs on hes my darling and I love him more than I thought possible.however I cant do anything about the gaps in the keepsakes or the photo albums and I feel terribly guilty about that.

I wish I had just accepted a third boy and embraced it from the start.

cutebubs:

I even talked my mum out of knitting one of her special blue blankets for him because I already had two.

I don't see why your mum couldn't knit another blanket for him NOW...he's never going to know the difference...just that he has a blanket

When I was pregnant with my first DD, I was disappointed because I REALLY wanted a boy. But I fell in love with her as soon as she was born. I felt guilty for ever wanting a boy because I love her so much. I figured I would have a boy the second time around. I'm expecting my 2nd DD in Feb. I suffered a crushing blow when I found out. This pregnancy has been VERY rough on me. I cry a lot. I know I'm going to love her, but my heart aches for a son so bad. But I think I'm going to adopt one some day. I don't trust my DH would make a boy. LOL!!!!

JJ89:

feel guilty for having GD w/ the your GD kids and wished you never had GD w/ them?  Did you ever get that feeling and feel so bad that it happened.

Yes! I think that is the biggest reason I still visit IG. GD ruined all three of my pg, and I can't believe I let that happen! Why is it so stupid? Because the me pre-DHs family would have been over the moon at having 3 daughters, and the me post DHs family felt the opposite. I so so so regret all the wasted upset feelings over the past 8 years.

No, I dont feel guilty of my former GD, it was mere a gender desire to have a

DD the second time but once I had my second son, I embraced that so much

and frankly he is such a snuggle child that I cant even think it would be any better

having a daughter instead of him. I loved being pregnant with him too and

the newborn period was much easier than with my first born son - so

no I think having some "gender desire" or even "gender disap" is just normal

and once you have your children whom you love unconcitionally, it doesnt matter

that much anymore.

 Always. I still get really upset with myself and when my little boy lies in my arms asleep, i kiss his little head and say sorry over and over again and tell him how much i love him, i'm super protective of him and feel a lot closer to him at this stage of his life (six months) than I did with my daughter at the same age. I didn't feel totally bonded with her til she was about a year old. I'm always telling DP how much i regret being so hateful towards him when i was preg and i'm constantly afraid something will take him away from me

emma_erin_and_euan:

i'm constantly afraid something will take him away from me

I feel this way too!!! My 2nd DS is SUCH an easy baby, compared to DS1, and soooo sweet and attached to me, and I worry all the time that I'll be "punished" by having something happen to him. :( I think that thought consumes me more than I realize.

EEE- your son is GORGEOUS! Wow, those blue eyes are striking! :)

 to emma_erin_and_euan...

 Your son looks like a little doll! I had to do a double take hehe. He's perfect!

Of course I did/do. It still haunts me to this day and it was 8 years ago. The guilt is horrible.

Yes, I feel guilty. I completed DS's nursery after he was born. I did not know what motherhood is all about. I just felt I did not get what I wanted. I got married to the man I loved, have the perfect job, house, car, etc but was bitter because I did not have this my way. Even if my second is a boy I will make sure I will celebrate the pregnancy. I am not going to 'waste' another pregnancy being disappointed. What is done is done, our new baby is coming irrespective of whether we like 'its' gender or not. We have to take care of them I rather do it happily than brooding.

I have always felt guilty because it was my decision to create them.

I actually feel the worst guilt this time because each pregnancy is harder & I have absolutely no feelings this time. Luckily, from experience, I  know that when he arrives, I will love him.

When I was disapointed with my second son, I felt guilty shortly after he was born.  After my EXTREME GD with my third son (I had all the same thoughts/feelings as that girl) I don't feel guilty.  I love him now and I always did, but I realize you can't control your emotions.  I used to imaging naming him something horrible and embarassing to "punish" him for being a boy. (Horrible yes, but it was what it was)  Even as bad as it sounds, sometimes you need to let yourself feel every horrible feeling and think every horrible thought to work through it.  If you try to deny yourself that anger, you'll never work through it.  I am going through the same emotions now (GD with boy#4), and I wonder if I'll ever get over it this time.  In reality I know I will.  If you can't change the past, the best thing to do is make the future as bright as possible.

hurricanecek:

 to emma_erin_and_euan...

 Your son looks like a little doll! I had to do a double take hehe. He's perfect!

 ITA!!  What an angel!!  TOO cute in that pink highchair too...he puts the gerber baby to shame!