Article on Gender Selection/Gender Disappointment

That is SO irritating...it's just amazing how judgemental people can be.  My thought has always been, if you haven't walked a mile in their shoes, keep your mouth shut!!  it's served me well so far, but i wish that others would do the same !  I'm so over people saying that we are "selfish" for having a dream.  Hope is what keeps people healthy in the long run...it's healing power is amazing!

HMC

I am sooooo profoundly sorry for the pain this article has caused to the people mentioned on there. the article does not portrey the IG I know and love and it definitely does not do IG ladies amy justice. As I said on the other thread, I am completely and utterly horrified 

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/102663.aspx?PageIndex=1 this is the original link where she searched for her victims(here is her personal email) by the way I never wrote to her, I gave her my phone number and we talked which is why it is so upsetting as I have no proof of the things she said she would do (like email me the article before using my name), I am truly sorry that this article may hurt some.

Cynthia you have absolutely NOTHING to apologize for. It is not your fault and I truly hope that this Ruth gets what she deserves and I hope it's not pretty, to put it mildly

MyDreamBabi:

Ugh! Even the author got her pidgeon pair so no wonder she wouldn't get it...

Remember though, not everyone here is happy with their PP.

The thing is she told me she suffered from infertility prior to her second child and learned about GS at the RE's office she even shared the protocal) she was on, she seemed so empathic. It is not that the article insnt true but it is so skewd, she said it would be on those of us with gender desire( funny how the fact that I told her that I never suffered Gender Disappointment didn't make it into the article). So I think that the fact that she has a pp is not the issue, her ethics are very questionable. Oh well, this too shall pass.

Here is the link to the other thread: http://www.ingender.com/cs/forums/t/120293.aspx?PageIndex=1

I researched her before giving her any personal information and figured that because she seemed genuine and had been caught "stretching the truth" before, she would be dilligent regarding her ethics. I guess I was wrong. I was not quoted in the article and that is probably because my GD falls on the mild side, I wish the article would have been more well rounded and not filled with psychobabble.

There are many women on IG who have lost a child of their desired gender, or pehaps they began to desire "that" gender after losing their child. I expected more empathy from her and from Elle toward my IG sisters.

I was also disappointed that she didn't mention more on swaying besides making it look like we were all peddling and buying snake oil (& you all know how I feel about swaying ) I just didn't think "we" or IG were portrayed in a helpful or sympathetic manner.

Girls.....how frustrating. If she is going to write an article, don't you think she ought to look at all sides of GD (meaning there are also people that want a boy, all girls, boys etc.) I am sure deep down within each of us there are things from childhood that may make our desires stronger or different, but does that make them not valid or make us freaks because of it????? I always tell people (people I discuss GD with) that although it comes with heartache it defnitely has taught me to be less judgemental. And really, it is always a good rule of thumb to not judge so much when you have never been in the position (meaning this author). And I try and really do that with all things now.......rather than just assume without experiencing firsthand. All being said, Cynthia, call her if you are up for it--behind you 150%. A counselor I saw said that GD (disppointment ) is very real and comparable to a death........although until you have experienced it, I can see how people would think we are weird....it is a strange feeling to grasp. All said, this site is a tremendous support and I think we all feel at home because the real world is very cruel and we all know that even more, live it every day with the comments about our families, our boys, our lack of a girl etc. etc.

ITA about the article being one-sided. She doesn't explore how society tends to view one gender families, the comments received from strangers and families alike, and pp's suggestion about those who have lost a certain gender. It was a bit surreal to read about people here too. Well, it's just ELLE - not the best magazine (I prefer ELLE Decor). On the one hand, perhaps there will be a few trolls lurking around, but on the other, the article might help some women who are hurting find a place of acceptance. I am sorry for those feeling hurt by the article and don't blame you one bit.

cdj:

Girls.....how frustrating. If she is going to write an article, don't you think she ought to look at all sides of GD (meaning there are also people that want a boy, all girls, boys etc.)

ITA

If this article was about MEN desiring SONS to pass on their family names, go to football games with etc. etc. , nobody would bat an eyelash...and it would probably garner a lot of sympathy too! "Of course he wants a boy...even man should have a son blah blah blah"...The fathers certainly wouldn't be labeled neurotic with narcissistic personality disorder!

But I guess that wouldn't sell as many magazines.

This is horrible!  I have done many interviews on GD and my words are always twisted and they end up making me sound like an ass!  I will never speak to another reporter again!

Coochie-Coo:

Oh - I'd LOVE to have her number!

I think you need to publically post her number on IG so we can all blow up her damn phone!

I just can't believe that the same society that floods us with constant comments of pity can turn around and condemn us for desiring what we don't have (and what "they" so strongly suggest we need).  What an ironic hypocritical world we live in.  Unbelievable.  I always wanted boys...it is people's constant comments about why I don't have a girl that fuel my fire more than anything. 

That has got to be KatesDreamGirl who they interviewed in this article.  Does anyone know for sure?  That is her story exactly.

lisasue2boys:

That has got to be KatesDreamGirl who they interviewed in this article.  Does anyone know for sure?  That is her story exactly.

Yes - I'm very curious to hear what she thinks of the article...

MyDreamBabi:

If this article was about MEN desiring SONS to pass on their family names, go to football games with etc. etc. , nobody would bat an eyelash...and it would probably garner a lot of sympathy too! "Of course he wants a boy...even man should have a son blah blah blah"...The fathers certainly wouldn't be labeled neurotic with narcissistic personality disorder!

But I guess that wouldn't sell as many magazines.

I really don't think so.  Maybe if it was in a Men's magazine but if it were in a women's or genderless magazine (can't think of any right now) there would be cries of sexism.  ANd I think if there were direct quotes from them saying how they had all these set plans for their sons and how they wanted little mini-mes you bet there would be cries of Narcissistic Personality Disorder on TOP of the sexism.  Just like many women here think girls have it so much better these days so do women for the most part too.  This is the first time in history that women have had as much money and power as men and they are no longer the lesser sex -- this ain't the 70s.