Does In-Gender ever make your GD worse?

mfp:

There are certain posters who consistently post things that rub me the wrong way.   

This is starting to be the predominant feeling I have when I log on, besides overwhelming feelings of despair when confronted with all the reasons I'm probably never going to have a DD.  Over the years, I-G has been a comfort and a place to go for support and to feel better, but I often wish I'd never found this site, never heard of swaying or HT.  Maybe if I didn't think there was a way to influence the gender of my child, I'd be able to go with the flow and wouldn't have been constantly worrying about it for over three years now, wouldn't be convinced that I'll never have a DD if I don't do a bunch of crazy crap.  I certainly wouldn't have spent thousands of dollars on HT and come up emptyhanded.  Of course, this site isn't the only place for such information.  I remember hearing that BDing a few days before O makes it more likely you'll conceive a girl before I ever got pg.  Don't remember where I heard it from, but I know it was before I conceived DS1 because I remember thinking once I found out I was pg "Oh, well, we had sex three days before I ovulated, so it'll probably be a girl, yay!"  And I am the pessimistic type, so I'm sure I'd still be despairing about ever having a girl at this point with two boys, though I'd probably be pg with or have given birth to DC3 by now!  But yeah, three years ago when I first found this site I was hopeful and just wanted to tilt the odds in my favor.  Now, after learning about all the factors and hearing other peoples' stories and seeing what works for most people and what makes people more likely to have all one gender, I'm basically hopeless.

Not so much the whole site...but this board does.

When I had severe GD with DS, IG and forums like it sometimes "feuled" my GD, but only because spending time there allowed me to so intensely focus on what I was feeling.

My GD never feels worse because of stuff other posters may say about boys, not wanting boys, etc.  My nature just happens to be that others' opinions just don't really carry weight for me.  Plus, I can (well, did) totally empathize with those same sentiments!

I am glad IG is here.  I probably wouldn't be pregnant with my HT DDs right now if it was not.  Knowing that my desired gender is on its way has greatly reduced my anxiety around GD.  I can even foresee a day when it will be gone entirely. 

GZ

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Sometimes I come here and it's therapeutic. Other times it's like seeing a car crash-- I know I should just move it along. But I like to come here and be reminded that I'm not the only one.

I'm actually in a good place with my family composition right now, but when I'm down about my"big" family and how I think about how much easier life would have been with the PP pair (that accordingly to some people on locked boards, apparently isn't the gold standard) then I find myself here.

Anna Banana:

 I get a little upset when people say boy clothes are ugly.  I don't know where they're shopping but I see cute boy clothes all the time.

 

I know, right??  I mean, have these people ever been to OshKosh?  Where the boys clothes are cuter than the girls clothes by a mile!  You have to go to tasteful stores like OshKosh, Gymboree, sometimes Children's Place, and Carters.  Some high end stores have ADORABLE boy clothes, too. (unfortunately I can't afford the high end stores, but I love to look at the baby stuff!).  And I saw a little baby boy leather jacket that I was dying over!  Oh, and Gap has cute boy sweaters a lot.  I go to the outlet malls where they have the really nice stuff at discount prices and never have a problem finding cute boy stuff.

Dylsmom:

Anna Banana:

 I get a little upset when people say boy clothes are ugly.  I don't know where they're shopping but I see cute boy clothes all the time.

 

I know, right??  I mean, have these people ever been to OshKosh?  Where the boys clothes are cuter than the girls clothes by a mile!  You have to go to tasteful stores like OshKosh, Gymboree, sometimes Children's Place, and Carters.  Some high end stores have ADORABLE boy clothes, too. (unfortunately I can't afford the high end stores, but I love to look at the baby stuff!).  And I saw a little baby boy leather jacket that I was dying over!  Oh, and Gap has cute boy sweaters a lot.  I go to the outlet malls where they have the really nice stuff at discount prices and never have a problem finding cute boy stuff.

I also really love boy clothes!  I think they are totally adorable!

SweetPs:

Dylsmom:

Anna Banana:

 I get a little upset when people say boy clothes are ugly.  I don't know where they're shopping but I see cute boy clothes all the time.

 

I know, right??  I mean, have these people ever been to OshKosh?  Where the boys clothes are cuter than the girls clothes by a mile!  You have to go to tasteful stores like OshKosh, Gymboree, sometimes Children's Place, and Carters.  Some high end stores have ADORABLE boy clothes, too. (unfortunately I can't afford the high end stores, but I love to look at the baby stuff!).  And I saw a little baby boy leather jacket that I was dying over!  Oh, and Gap has cute boy sweaters a lot.  I go to the outlet malls where they have the really nice stuff at discount prices and never have a problem finding cute boy stuff.

I also really love boy clothes!  I think they are totally adorable!

I used to think boy clothes sucked, then I started looking at the girl clothes and I'm like "wait, these clothes suck too!"  I just have really really picky, esoteric, unpredictable, strange taste in clothes, for myself and for kids.  I mean, it's not like I like most ADULT clothes, so why would I like all kid clothes?  The only difference between boy clothes and girl clothes is that there's about twice as much to choose from in the girl section.  I still find the same percentage of clothes there acceptable, actually maybe even a smaller percentage since there is more to choose from.  Anyway, now that I've had kid clothes shopping experience, I always find cool boy clothes that make me happy, whether it's online or in stores.  I really like Old Navy, Lucky Kids, and H&M for boys, and also the Knuckleheads website.  I've had people tell me that my kids dress better than they ever will!

Oh, also, back to the main point, you know what I think my main reason is for coming here so often?  I think on some level, I feel like being on this website is kind of like actively doing something towards achieving my goal of having a DD.  Like, if I'm on here reading about it, it's more real, more tangible then if I'm just going over the details of my ttc plans in my head.  Of course that's not true at all, but wtf else could I be doing right now, right?

I have mixed feelings about in-gender, I feel like I'm indulging myself when I come look.  I don't feel GD all the time, and actually sometimes this DOES make it worse.  But in other ways, I have trouble staying away because everyone here is so honest, instead of being so rosy happy about everything when I go on some of the other pregnancy websites.  I really like reading honest posts, instead of perfect mother posts and it seems here that everyone says what they think.  No one is trying to impress anybody.  I actually found this site while on another one (about fertility problems), where someone on there said something like "at least I'm not one of those people" with a link to this site, and some holier-than-thou stuff included there.  I went to the link just to look (I wasn't even pregnant yet), and didn't think anything bad about GD -- and started to realize that I would also prefer one sex over the other.  I knew I'd come back in the event that things didn't work out the way I wanted.  But yeah, hearing your own feelings echoed by someone else sometimes just makes it worse.  I plan to leave this board one day, when I'm ready.