Is it stupid to sway because of impatience?

I have 3 boys. Did MS IUI 2x BFN.  Now after paying that debt (still some left), economy etc. we cannot do another hi-tech attempt for 2 more years!!!  I really really really want a girl next (last baby).  I KNOW in my mind that swaying is not 100%...not even 80 or 90%...I KNOW that I would be very very unhappy with another boy pregnancy (probably not the baby - i get over that).  I know this but 2 years seems very very FAR AWAY.

I think:  What if hi-tec doesn't work again?  What if we waste all that money for nothing. I could have a baby already for all this waiting.

Every month goes by and I am tempted to ttc again but instead we use Birth Control...another wasted egg gone!  Even 50% chance for girl sounds good to me!

I am being completely irrational right??

I absolutely think you should wait.. you want a girl, not a baby.

i agree w/ pp

if you know you'll be unhappy w/ boy, wait to go hi tech for girl

good luck w/ being patient & getting your girl!

I absolutely think you should wait.  Your Dh is ok with high tech, so you should go for that.  I think you would deeply regret ttc'ing now without going high tech.  I know 2 years seems like a long wait, but it will go by faster then you think.

I am in a similiar situation as you.  I am not going high tech, but do want to wait.  For me I really would be ok with another boy, but would like to increase my chances of having a girl.  Dh is not comfortable with high tech, especially since we will only be ttcing for our second child.  We have lots more opportunities to conceive a girl.  I am waiting until May.  It's hard to wait, but so worth it in the end.

Patience is very very hard, but I really think you should wait :)

I voted wait. I know you would love a baby boy if that's what you got, but since you really really want a girl, you should do the hi-tech in two years. If you have another baby now, it may affect your financial ability to try again for hi-tech because of the new baby's expenses. Also, you never know, your financial situation could improve dramatically in the next two years and maybe you will be able to try again sooner.

Chachamama:

I absolutely think you should wait.. you want a girl, not a baby

I agree.

Chachamama:

I absolutely think you should wait.. you want a girl, not a baby.

 

Totally agree.

 Yes, it is stupid to sway because of impatience 

If you for sure only want a girl...then wait, wait wait.

GL to you! 

 The only reason I am swaying is cos it'll only be our second and if we have a boy we'll go high tech....DONT DO IT!!!!! If you have a boy you'll never forgive yourself...I am very impatient and it's the sort of thing I would consider so I understand those evil pixies in your head trying to convince you.

I keep repeating to myself 'all good things come to those who wait'..cheesy but true!

goodluck hon x

Please please please wait! You yourself have said no one should sway unless you can fully accept an opposite.  I think you really need to go high tech because this is your last.  Please wait

Tamara:

Please please please wait! You yourself have said no one should sway unless you can fully accept an opposite.  I think you really need to go high tech because this is your last.  Please wait

You've been so outspoken against swaying that I think you'd really beat yourself up if you did that and ended up with boy #4.  I thought I remember you saying you swayed for all your boys.  Is there some different method you're going to be trying if you sway for #4?  I don't know about you, but I always keep in mind the old saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results."  Of course you could end up succeeding even if you sway exactly the same way, you know it's all an odds game, but still, I don't feel comfortable doing anything that failed before unless I make significant changes to the method.

High tech not working again is a major possibility, and a cycle of PGD/IVF is at least three times as expensive as MS/IUI.  How many cycles do you think you'd even be able to try?  Everyone else is saying wait, but I think a lot of people on this site have this mentality (especially when comparing it to MS/IUI) that PGD/IVF is the easy definite answer, like going to the baby store and handing over a check for fifteen grand or so and saying "One girl, please."  That's so not the case.  You could just as easily walk away with nothing to show for it but twice (or more) the debt you racked up with MS/IUI. 

I'm not saying you should wait, but I'm not saying you should go ahead and ttc right now.  I think you should think about it long and hard before you make your move, especially if this is your last baby.

MyDreamBabi:

I am being completely irrational right??

Honest answer is yes.  I know your GD is very strong and I know your views on swaying so I say definitely without a doubt wait.  I know 2 years seems like a lifetime away but I am in the exact sames shoes as you are (timeline wise).  What will happen if you have an opposite and 2 years from now you are saying to yourself WTF was I thinking?  I just don't think you should sway.  I know IVF isn't guaranteed but it does give you a great shot at trying.  If that were to fail then I would say yes try and sway.    

Ahimsa_Malozzi:

 Is there some different method you're going to be trying if you sway for #4?  I don't know about you, but I always keep in mind the old saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results." ............I'm not saying you should wait, but I'm not saying you should go ahead and ttc right now. 

I think i would do boy sway stuff since girl sway stuff only give me boys...maybe my body works in reverse??  

So yes I am insane...i just know hi-tech is not a guarantee b/c we failed at it before. We are saving for 2 tries...i hope there is a clinic with a share risk plan for GS. That would help squeeze in 3rd try.

 

tell you want, we can make a deal.  you wait till you get your  2 ht tries, then if that doesnt work I will help you all I can to do the best sway possible.  Will swaying give you a girl?  who knows, but at least you can give high tech a shot first