I Don't Want To Go Down This Road Again....

With my 2nd DS.  I struggled so much with DS 1 with his ADHD and still struggle with it daily.  Now it seems as though DS 2 has a lot of the same symptoms my 14 year old did at that age.  He is suspected to have ADHD as well as Autism.  He is EXTREMELY difficult to focus while we do homework, and he is always in his brother's faces causing even more problems.  He is having social problems in school where he is annoying other students and they are starting to push away from him.  It is heartbreaking to watch that.

Today I had a meeting in school with his teachers, and it was like hearing about my 14 year old all over again.  All I could think was "Not again..I can't do all this again."  I don't know what to do in terms of medication if the doctor suggests it.  I have had my 14 year old on medication since he was 5, and I felt awful about it, but I know I can't let Aidan continue to struggle and get worse.  It was so depressing to read the Conner scale the teachers wrote, and have them tell me he is not absorbing the information in class b/c of his inability to focus.  I almost cried when they told me some of the kids in class have started to ostracize him.  I still remember when Dante was younger, and he wasn't invited to birthday parties very often.  He is doing much better socially, but he still has bad moments when it seems like he is on the outs with all his friends at once. 

How have some of you (who have more than one special needs child), gotten through it again???

Laura...bumping this for you!

My #2 DS and my #4 Ds both have ADHD and #4 also has ODD and I tell you #2 was a breeze except that at first i never wanted to put him on meds, we did and it was the best thing we ever did for him, he is now 13 and trying his first year at school off the meds and is doing well so far!!!!

#4 is a real test, I knew the day he was born that he was "different" and I tried to get help early on with horrible results so once again we tried to get help last year and we now have him on meds and they help with the ADHD but not the ODD so we still deal with his disrespect to authority and his bad behaviors alot, I can tell you thee are days I just want to run crying to my room and lock myself in...

It is very important that you take some time for yourself, you can take a class, or go get a cup of coffee ( or tea) for an hour or so once a week you can take a walk or even a long bath with the door locked and the music on, but you absolutly need down time, so please find something just for you, hire a sitter or get Dh to take them whatever you need to, but you have to recharge otherwise it builds up and then you either explode or fall apart.......

Laura, if Aiden's already getting ostracized due to his behavior, it may be time to put him on medication.  We felt we had to do it while Logan was still young and able to make friends.  If you wait too long, he'll already have that internal view that he's the weird kid no one likes.  It will effect him throughout puberty and on.

I don't have a second one and we've talked about this but I wanted to tell you again, I am sorry you have to worry about another dc. It's not fair.

Thank you guys for the support and suggestions!  Aidan has an appointment with the neurologist in early January, and I am definitely going to pursue medication for him.  I know it will help him focus and be less difficult.  He is getting worse so something definitely has to be done and as soon as possible. 

I'll keep you all posted, and I appreciate your input, thanks again!!

Laura