Jealous of friends

My friend and I both had strong preference for little girls for our first. I found out last week I am having a DS and having strong GD. She just emailed me that she found out she is having a DD. Of COURSE she is. I am crying I am so jealous.

How to deal??

Nothing was worse than finding out my friend having a girl after 2 boys while I was having ds#3.  It has definitely put a strain on our friendship- I have a million friends with both genders, but being pg at the same time under those circumstances just sucked.  I know you don't know what the future holds but growing up I always always dreamed of having an older brother (I had one younger sister).  Maybe you can focus on that possibility- that your next child could be a girl and you will have this perfect pigeon pair!  I also think the mother-dd relationship is so complex and having a boy first allows you to work out some of the glitches with a son who can probably survive it better than a dd!

 

Hang in and good luck

Hi, I have posted before about something similar to this except for that I was on the other side of the fence. Briefly, my two friends and I were pregnant with our third babies which was lovely - we all three had two sons and were waiting to find out what baby 3 was. I had a little girl, my two friends had boys. When I had my daughter I was informed that they no longer had anything in common with me and so there was no point in us hanging around together anymore. It was really really awful and I'm only just coming to terms with it but all I would say is that your friend had no control over the sex of the baby she has, as long as she isn't trying to be cruel to you or gloat about it then I would do my best to act happy for her. Your little boy is going to be this absolutely fantastic little being that you adore when he arrives and you can bet your life that she'll be wanting a boy next time!! Congrats on your pregnancy anyways, baby boys make my heart melt xxxxxxx

I'm in the same situation, just found I'm expecting my 4th DS. My best friend is pg with her 4th child too she has 2 boys and 1 girl so wanted a girl to even it out, and got her wish.

I cried for hours, and even now a couple of weeks later I'm finding it hard and cant even face seeing her yet. It does get a little easier though, I can think about it now without braking down and crying every time.

Chantelle

I think there is a distinction to be made between being sad/jealous for one's own situtation, and how one then treats the friend in question.

Of course it's normal to be sad/angry//jealous when your gender dreams don't come true.  But like a PP said, if the friend is not being insensitive / gloating on purpose, then I don't feel we can really *blame* them for achieving their gender dreams (or ours, for that matter).  It really is just the luck of the draw!  No one "earned" or "deserved" their gender dreams more than anyone else.

Although, I totally understand if someone would feel the need to withdraw from situations that remind them of what they are missing.  In this case, you could tell your friend that you are struggling, but that it's not personal against her, and that once you feel better, you will love to see her again.

 

i always feel the same! i have 3 boys and 1 girl in the middle. i always wanted a house full of girls. i always pray that people i know around me will have boys just so i dont feel so down when i go visit them or buy baby stuff for them. it's really hard.

My BF was pregnant at the same time as I was, she ended up having a girl and I had a boy - of course she would get a girl. She never stops rubbing it in to me either. I refuse to buy her little girl any clothes or 'girly' gifts just because it pisses me off. I know that one day I will hopefully get a little girl and we have way more money than she does so I can buy my dream little girl everything she cant. Now how petty is that??? BTW, when I found out she had given birth to a little girl it took me over a day to call and a week to visit her and Ive been friends with her for 16 years - now I sound mean.

My SIL announced 4 weeks ago that their first 'oops' child is a girl. I have a 19 month old son and swayed my heart out this last time for a girl. The thing that upsets me most is her attitude towards getting a girl, everytime we meet, there is another reason why she is soooo relieved that she didn't get a boy. The last time it was when I was changing my sons nappy and she said 'that's another reason why I didn't want a boy is because they wee everywhere when you take their nappy off!!!' Like she is the expert! I find it is more to do with her offensive comments which makes me feel like I don't want to be around her! I think you will find as long as your friend is not rubbing it in your face, you will genuinely be please for her as she is a friend. Just ease yourself into the situation until it feels comfortable.

Lol bizarrely I had a dream last night that my best friend was pregnant and had just found out at her sonogram she was having a wee girl. I am 23 weeks pregnant with my second boy and would love a little girl, but I also don't feel jealous about other people feeling girls (someone I know from school just had a girl after a boy and she said that's their family 'complete' now. I actually felt sad for her as I want loads more kids and I know if this baby had been a girl DP would have wanted us to be done too, aha no chance of that NOW mwoahahaha). Especially when I see them and think that my boy is so much cuter (which is a bad, evil thing to think but it does make me feel better). One of my good friends had a wee girl and then a boy and I love her daughter Lily but not in a weird, wanting her way. I'm not sure, I think I might feel more jealous if my sister had a wee girl (she's not even pregnant, I'm just thinking thereotically) although I know she wants boys. It is a very weird one. Either way, I don't think I would ever show I was jealous because my sister and brother love my wee boy so much I'd want to love their children and my nieces and nephews like that too. None of my closest best friends have children yet but I'd really like to think I could be pleased for them. I suppose what I always keep in my mind is that I don't, or wouldn't, want their wee girls, I'd want MY wee girl. To that extent, it's hard to really envy someone else their children. I think anyway.

aww...thats hard to deal w/but you haveason andshe dont...maybe your nextwill bea girl you never know!