I need some REALLY bitchy comments

Please help me ladies!! I am pregnant with #4, I already have 3 little boys and my 3rd broke my heart. I ran out of my ultrasound crying, I cried for weeks, I yelled, I screamed, I threw things, I was an absolute mess. I concentrated on having the 'perfect birth' with him as he was my 3rd c/s and it was perfect. My c/s was beyond perfect. My bond with my 3rd son is amazing. He is absolutely my favourite, the love of my life. Ive never spent a day apart from him, hes been breastfed for nearly a year and in the world I am the only person who exists to him. I thought, do you know what, I never have to worry about this again. I never have to worry about the nosy comments or the put downs whilst being pregnant. I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I would never have a girl. I decided no more children. No more, I can not handle the pressure of gender selection methods which are a crock, the hoping, the praying, the heartwrenching dissapointment that no one understands. And now I found out Im pregnant. My husband doesnt believe in termination which was honestly my first gut instinct. So Im stuck in a new town, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with no friends, and no family and no doctors, with a pregnancy I do not really want, trying to pretend to be happy when inside I hate myself for being such an idiot to let myself get pregnant again. Im silently having a breakdown trying to work out how to escape this hell hole of a place when I find out Im having boy#4. And its not so much that its a boy, because I know I will love him as much as everyone else, but its like someone dies when you find out. That dream dies. But anyway, Im distracted here. I want to know if you have any ideas to shut those people down with their hateful comments "Do you know what your having? Hopefully a girl" "It has to be a girl this time you'd hope" "Four boys oh I couldnt imagine, you poor thing"

The worst thing is mostly I feel bad saying something mean. I want to say "What business is it of yours" or really "Shut up you nasty b - rhymes with ditch" I just want a comment to shock those strangers/friends/horrific family members. I cant believe Im here again...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way...I still want to give it a shot to for #4, but am terrified of hearing boy again.  And not looking forward to all those comments as well, I can imagine how you must feel:(

You could tell them that you're hoping for boy #4!  I'm pretty sure that would shut them right up!

Aw hun, you poor thing. You must be feeling very alone at the moment. I'm expecting my second son but in circumstances that some people in my family consider less than ideal (my sons will have different fathers and despite the fact that my DP is the absolute love of my life and has bought a three bedroom flat for us all to be a family, some people are just very judgemental about what isn't your business). Anyway, when I said I was pregnant a few people reacted with 'it better be a girl'. Now that I have found out it is a boy, I'm not telling those people that I know what I'm having as I know people will just fall in love with that baby anyway. Personally, I wouldn't lower yourself to bitchy comments because as you say, it just really isn't their business. I personally was a teeny bit disappointed to hear I was having another boy (for the same reasons you have explained, for feeling like you've lost a daughter) but to the people that do know I'm having a boy, I've simply said I'm delighted that my son will have a little brother and I love being a mum to boys, which is absolutely true. I would suggest that if anyone says anything about are you 'hoping' to have girl, you should just look them straight in the eye, smile sweetly and say, 'A girl would be lovely but so equally would be another gorgeous little boy to join the three I already adore and then they will be their own little club'. Do not feel obliged to tell strangers how you feel,or justify your family to them. It's none of their business. If you want, just say you're leaving this pregnancy a surprise and don't tell them if you discover gender, either way. Congratulations on your pregnancy though. I know the circumstances aren't ideal but you know things have a funny way of always working out.  

Just say they are my little miracles and they make me the happiest mother on this planet, doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. Some people are just....

laptop:

And its not so much that its a boy, because I know I will love him as much as everyone else, but its like someone dies when you find out. That dream dies.

I know hun I totally understand.....its hard but feel good knowing that it may not be this for you again im assuming this baby is an oops and I dont want to give false hope but everyone I know had a one time oopsie and they had girls.....

laptop:

I want to know if you have any ideas to shut those people down with their hateful comments "Do you know what your having? Hopefully a girl" "It has to be a girl this time you'd hope" "Four boys oh I couldnt imagine, you poor thing"

I get this as well all the time oh three boys how busy are you going to be!!I just say even if it was a girl id be just as busy.....I like the one remark a lady on ingender used when to help me out they ask if your going to keep trying for that girl she just said this was my girl....

no matter what people are going to comment I just have learned to say yes we do know what we are having its a little boy and his name is Jaxxon and I say we are very blessed if they start to go into detail about oh next time it will be a girl I cut the convo short and say I dont know what are future holds but for now we are complete then I smile and walk away...I feel so much better then going into it negatively like I want to at times,,,,the worst was when mil said to a stranger well we are not making girls right now and thats why my granddaughter from my other son is so special to us,,,,,,,in my family my hubbys side we have five grandboys and one granddaughter and to this day iam just starting to love my niece as cute as she is I still hate her sometimes.....

I hope that this is your princess but if it is not - that he will be another prince as preciouse as your other three:)

we are in the same boat as far as 4th preggo 3 boys...I am sorry you are down...maybe this is a girl if not then you can love number four like your other 3! 

 

? "do you know what your having,a girl I hope!"

my answer-I know its a baby but if its a kitten my boys will be happy!

?-"it has to be a girl this time you hope!"

my answer-I am hoping for anothe rboy for an even number!

?-"four boys cant imagine you poor thing!

my answer-"Poor thing? I cant imagien my life with out them!

my answer-If all else fails then you can be a snob and just stare at them! 

SaraTo3:

You could tell them that you're hoping for boy #4!  I'm pretty sure that would shut them right up!

 

 

I used this a few times... worked like a charm!!!  

I also said "We are hoping for another perfect child, just like the first three!"  

I think I also read this comment on this site before - when people say "What are you having?"  Reply "The boys are hoping it's a puppy, but we are pretty sure it's another baby!!"

We also didn't tell anyone we were pg until we absolutely had to.  - That way it lessens the time of the stupid remarks!  Also, we didn't tell anyone when the U/S was, that way we could take our time telling people.

Good luck to you!!!  I am sure once the shock wears off, you will be excited about #4!!!  

What about just saying the truth?  That yes, you'd love a daughter, but you cannot control your baby's gender.  What can anyone say to that??  lol 

I feel sad for some of the ladies here sometimes, who are worrying about what others will say or think about their family breakdowns.

IMO, there is nothing wrong or shameful with hoping for that lovely son or daughter.  It's a very human feeling, and one a lot of people can probably relate to!

Everyone around me knew how BADLY I wanted DS to be a DD, and how sad I was that he was not.  And if they didn't like me having a preference (some didn't), too bad for them!!  I didn't give their opinions any weight, this was my life, they can go live their own and have their own babies!!  lol

My 

GZ

When people ask you what you're having, or hoping for.. just say "healthy baby"

My friend got to the point (after 4 boys) where she would just call people out on it. When she got the "Oh, four boys.. you poor thing"  She would respond with "Oh yes, poor me.  I have four children that I love and adore, and wouldn't change for the world. What a pity." 

 

I know what you feel. I had some awful things said to me when I was pregnant with boy #2. Really insensitive. One that sticks out in my memory is our neighbour- she kept saying again and again 'I bet you wish you were having a girl'. I can't really be angry with her though, she was suffering from the early stages of dementia, and has gotten a lot worse since, but for many others there was no excuse but rudeness.

momofboys:

I think I also read this comment on this site before - when people say "What are you having?"  Reply "The boys are hoping it's a puppy, but we are pretty sure it's another baby!!"

OMG! I'm so using this!

At SIX WEEKS I had ppl asking me if it's a girl!! How the eff am I supposed to know what it is at SIX WEEKS?? people suck. 

decemberbaby:

When people ask you what you're having, or hoping for.. just say "healthy baby"

My friend got to the point (after 4 boys) where she would just call people out on it. When she got the "Oh, four boys.. you poor thing"  She would respond with "Oh yes, poor me.  I have four children that I love and adore, and wouldn't change for the world. What a pity." 

 

I really like that one. Also, I think something along the lines of "there's nothing quite like a little boy's love for his mommy" (which I wholeheartedly agree with). I got similar comments with this pg (we knew they were girls, but kept the IVF a secret). People say the most ridiculous, insensitive, rude things. I got to making comments like "I have no idea what to do with a girl," "I have nothing for girls," "but I've gotten so good at nothing boys," and the like. Sorry you are going through this. You are right that you absolutely will adore him/her no matter what, so try to keep that in mind when people sat what they inevitably will. ((hugs))

I am pregnant with DS#3 (surprise pregnancy at almost 40).  I so wanted a girl and was convinced this was our dream child.  But, we were afraid we were going to have another boy (which is why we stopped, or thought we had stopped, at 2) that we didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after my ultrasound.  I was so distraught about this baby being a boy that we still waited until I was beginning to have trouble hiding my stomach (around 19-20 weeks).  I am now almost 27 weeks and have got comments like, "You just can't buy a girl" and "DH can't shoot nothing but boys can he".   I am asked if I was hoping for a girl, etc.  I have found that when I tell them that yes we wanted a girl and that I"m crushed over the gender of this baby that it shuts them up.  I also get comments about not trading places with me because I'm starting all over again or "Better you than me" (DS1 is 14 and DS2 is 11).  I have learned to let these comments "slide".  People don't think before they speak and most mean nothing by them.  Yes, they hurt but there is nothing you can do about the comments or being pregnant (I have had four miscarriages and can't imagine the emotional impact of an abortion).  Good luck to you and hopefully you'll get the little girl you want.

My favorite comment to put people in their place and make them realize how stupid they were being, was to say, "Oh, if it's another boy we're going to put it on E-bay." Then wait for the stunned and horrified look, and then say, "Obviously you're more concerned about it being a boy than we are. We're just happy to have a healthy happy baby-- boy or girl, just as long as there are 10 fingers and 10 toes." 

In my experience, confessing that you wished for the opposite gender makes you an evil person in the eyes of so many people. My advice is to not tell anyone (but maybe a trusted friend or two) about your gender preferences or disappointment. 

At the same time, I will be the devil's advocate and accept the genuine well-wishing of, "Hope you get your girl (or boy)" and realize that it is just people wishing for you what they likely would wish for themselves. However I have absolutely no patience for the mean-spirited and oblivious comments like, "Your house will be wrecked" or "they'll fight all the time" or any other rude comments that seem to fly out of people's mouths. I also cut a little slack to people who don't have kids and don't have any clue, but when some pidgeon-pair mom pipes up with the stupid comments, then my blood pressure goes through the roof.

Good luck...

"It has to be a girl this time you'd hope" - With boys like mine, I couldn't be happier if I had another awesome little boy to add to my beautiful blue brood. "Four boys oh I couldnt imagine, you poor thing" - You're right, you couldn't understand. Too bad you don't have five (including DH) men who put you up on a pedestal. So sorry you will never experience the love I do on a daily basis!