Domestic adoptions

eightin08:

After the adoption they can give you money to help you along

From my understanding they can't even do that. Some friends of mine adopted a baby and they were told to be careful what they give the birth mom after the adoption because some could look at it like they were "paying" her (in any way) for the baby.

bbotkins:

From my understanding they can't even do that. Some friends of mine adopted a baby and they were told to be careful what they give the birth mom after the adoption because some could look at it like they were "paying" her (in any way) for the baby.

I do believe if it is through an attorney, you can specify what the payment is for. Cothing, medical, etc are allowed. But each state is different.

 I talked to a lawyer two days ago. What he said is if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty they don't even want the birth parents buying you flowers at the hospital ( most Aparents I have met through support groups always buy them anything from a little locket, a car -which can be done legally because its for *transportation*, paid schooling etc. etc.) Most cases I saw this with were open adoptions, where the families become close and just WANT to help the birth mother. The facts are, most of the time a person decides not to keep the baby because of financial reasons.So the adopting parents can technically just give them whatever they want. They just have to want to do it to help them and the birth mother shouldn't tell them she will sign something then three months down the road start making all kinds of demands. Also again the adoptive parents could promise the birth mother things and when they get the baby THEY DON'T HAVE TO GIVE HER ANYTHING.

 The bottom line is I think it would be much better if say they put all your nine months of bills together then after the adoption was finalized they pay you that amount. I only say this on account of how many people get burned and pay all the birth mothers bills and such, then never see their baby or that money again. The system is in no way perfect. The truth is you have to find someone you can trust if you are doing a private adoption.

eightin08:

bbotkins:

From my understanding they can't even do that. Some friends of mine adopted a baby and they were told to be careful what they give the birth mom after the adoption because some could look at it like they were "paying" her (in any way) for the baby.

I do believe if it is through an attorney, you can specify what the payment is for. Cothing, medical, etc are allowed. But each state is different.

That's true, but they can't just give anything, and especially not in the first 30(?) days. And if they do, it has to be approved by the attorney or the adoptive parents can get in trouble. At least that's how it is here. You're right, every state is different. Which is kind of stupid, they should all the be the same so there's less confusion about what can and cannot be done.

Also what state do you go by? I was told if I was to pick a couple from Europe or of Australia (over seas) (international) I would have to go by NJ or NY laws. Then I was told we would have to combined the laws?! I was told if I do the adoption in the USA its the laws of whatever state the baby is born in, EVEN if you had planned on having the baby in your own state or the state of the adoptive parents. Which makes little sense to me considering what if you follow one set of rules for 9 months because say you plan on going to the adoptive parents state to have the baby then something could happen which stops this. From what I hear in my group NJ laws are much stricter, in fact most of the girls in my group that are currently pregnant have picked out of state couples for this reason. I will have to bring this subject up in group next week, I wish I thought of it before because Tuesday a lawyer was there speaking with us.

Australia has very strict adoption laws. They do not allow private adoption which is hard for people who would love to adopt but they do this so the rights of the child,birth mother & the adoptive parents are all protected.xo

Nervouslove:

I was told if I do the adoption in the USA its the laws of whatever state the baby is born in, EVEN if you had planned on having the baby in your own state or the state of the adoptive parents.

You follow the laws of whatever state the baby was born in. So if you went to another state to have the baby, even if you didn't live there, you would have to follow that states laws. But then you would have to have an attorney in that state as well.

fivecrazymonkeys:

Australia has very strict adoption laws. They do not allow private adoption which is hard for people who would love to adopt but they do this so the rights of the child,birth mother & the adoptive parents are all protected.xo

So if someone wants to adopt in Australia, are their agencies? How does one adopt an infant?

And what if someone wants to adopt an infant from the US? is it an option?

eightin08:

fivecrazymonkeys:

Australia has very strict adoption laws. They do not allow private adoption which is hard for people who would love to adopt but they do this so the rights of the child,birth mother & the adoptive parents are all protected.xo

So if someone wants to adopt in Australia, are their agencies? How does one adopt an infant?

And what if someone wants to adopt an infant from the US? is it an option?

http://www.immi.gov.au/media/fact-sheets/36adopting.htm

http://www.adoptionaustralia.com.au/?G1

Another link of interest.

http://www.adoptionaustralia.com.au/faqs.html

Thank you so much for this information. I really am surprised it is so hard to adopt in Australia.

Does anyone know about the laws in England?

Its odd you brought all this up because a family I was talking to that wanted to adopt my daughter was from Australia. We were planning on doing a private adoption with an attorney of course but does this mean they can not do that? I am from New Jersey. The thing we were most concerned about was the immigration laws. Should I be concerned ?? I know in the USA if a family from Australia wants to adopt they have to go by our laws or I guess both of our laws? Reading all this made me very upset. I am going through the links you sent now. THANKS FOR THE INFO!!! If you dont mind I would like to pm you with some questions, just give me the okay.

XOXOXOXO

I am not sure why your attorney told you that it is possible for Australian families to adopt. Here is why:

Private adoption in Australia is illegal which is why there are no private agencies. All adoptions (local and international) must be done through the government agencies in each state (eg. Department of Human Services in VIC). It would not be possible to arrange an adoption through the U.S. system as this would be considered arranging a private adoption.

While technically it may be legal for you to adopt a child in another country (what you do in another country generally falls under that country's laws, not Australia's) the likely-hood is that the child would never be granted a visa to enter Australia especially if they thought that you had adopted in this way to circumvent Australian Adoption laws.

The only cases that I know of where an Australian family has adopted a child overseas and then been granted a visa to bring the child home is where the family were long term residents of the country they adopted from. Even then, many have had a significant legal battle on their hands that usually took longer and cost more than it would have to adopt through the Australian system.

Although it can be frustrating to wade through the lengthy adoption process in Australia, the laws are there for a reason. If anyone could go to another country, adopt a child and then just bring them back to Australia it would be almost impossible for the necessary checks to be done to ensure that child was LEGALLY and ETHICALLY free for adoption.

One more thing - modern adoption is far more complicated now than it has been in the past. There are many, many medical, legal, financial, and social checks that take place both on the Australian side and in the country where the child is living. No-one just "travel(s) to the country and pick(s) a child from one of the many orphanages" any more

You are welcome to pm me if you would like any more info.

sorry..a little off the subject of adoption.  Can I ask about your MS experience?  How often does this happen?  Your sort seemed so high....I am confused?

Thank you so much for this information!!!!  We are just starting our homestudy and I feel so right about our decision, I just can't get enough information!!! Thank you again:)

I think this is the path we should take and I am so hopeful we will get our DD this route