Molly's MicroSort Journey

February 2004 - Posts

• Thinking about trying again

  On new years eve, my dh and I had discussed about going back again to MicroSort for another go. This was after the d&c and the methotraxate shot. We thought that the worst was behind us and I was getting over the initial shock of the whole thing. Then 2 weeks later my tube ruptured and that was far worse then what we were dealing with before. We have since to bring up MicroSort again. I have a while to before I will even be able to go again. I was told not to expect AF to turn up for 6 weeks after the surgery. Then I'm supposed to wait two cycles. So I have some time to see if I can muster up the courage to bring MicroSort up again. If we did go back I would definitely be doing IVF. I only have one tube now and yes I can still have children with just one, but I really believe my chances of conceiving through IUI are not as good. Plus the fact that I have gone 2 rounds of IUI already..I really want better odds. I really don't know what my dh is thinking right now. I'm sure he feels that this wouldn’t have happened if we hadn't done MS. I know I have told him that ectopics are a total fluke and it could have happened naturally or high tech to anyone. He's a guy so you know he has probably put it long behind him and is on to better things like planning a golf weekend. ;) My 30th birthday is next Friday the 13th and then valentines day follows. That might be a good time to start bring it up again....Hmmmm. Posted Feb 05 2004, 10:27 AM by GoodGolly with no comments

• Update

  I thought I would drop a line and come out of lurk ville. After my surgery I told myself I wasn’t going to come here anymore for a while. But luckily those feelings have passed, I went through a huge emotional rollercoaster after the surgery. My ob said once a pregnancy is removed even how early it was to expect post-partum depression. And boy did I ever... I cried so much that week after the surgery, I have never felt so much uncontrollable sorrow in my life. Half the time I didn't even know why I was crying. Well the clouds finally have seemed to be lifted and I am feeling a lot better emotionally. And have been lurking here often. I am so conflicted if I should be even aloud to think about trying again. I haven't said anything about trying MicroSort again for fear that my dh would think I was crazy. Since this dream for a dd went so very, very wrong I really don't know what to do or what I'm supposed to think anymore, leaving me feeling numb. I do have this yearning though to be pregnant with my baby girl so bad. I couldn’t believe I had my dh on board the first time I have no idea if after everything that's happened that he would want to do it again. How could I possibly talk him into this again?! (any suggestions?) Uhg, it really comes down to is this.. The end of my dreams of a dd and can I give that dream up? I still am so uncertain about that. when I was so sure of what I wanted before. On one hand I think I can do this I can be the mom of all boys, I'm doing a great job so far…On the other hand I have in my purse a written prescription for birth control from my ob that I don't want to fill. Thanks for letting me finally get this off my chest. Posted Feb 04 2004, 02:53 PM by GoodGolly with no comments