:(
I thought I ought to update my blog with the happenings of the past week. It has been a very tough week and I am left with all sorts of questions.
2dp5dt: I experienced much lower back pain and had cramping on and off.
3dp5dt: The cramping continued as did the dull lower back pain.
4dp5dt: The cramping became much worse and it felt like I was just about to get my period. I was really worried but spoke to a nurse who said that cramping was completely normal after IVF.
5dp5dt: We arrived back to the UK and I tested. BFN
6dp5dt: I didn't test this day but I felt 'pregnant' with many of the early symptoms I had with my last 2 pregnancies (DS & the ectopic).
7dp5dt: I tested again with a FRER and a tiny, tiny, shadow of a line appears around 12 hours after I tested. I only noticed as I held it up to a candle. I assume it is most probably an evaparation line.
8dp5dt: Still feeling crap so tested on a whim before I went to bed. A little pink line appears - only a sliver of a line.
9dp5dt: Tested again and yes, there is a second line. Sadly, I was not jumping for joy as I knew that a faint positive so late in the game rarely ends in a viable pregnancy.
I had my first beta draw later that morning and it came back at 33. Many tears as although it is positive, it is very, very low.
10dp5dt: Blue veins very noticeable all over my wrists, hands and chest. Feelings of nausea.
11dp5dt: I tested again and the second line was a little darker than the previous, but still very faint.
I had my 2nd beta draw today and it came back at 56. That little ray of hope: shattered. Although It did not double, it did increase. Sadly, it is looking more and more like another ectopic. I am feeling so angry and just so, so sad. I had 2 perfect opportunities at IVF, transferred a total of 4 XX embryos and my body, my fallopian tube, has let me down. Those little embryos wanted to stick, they wanted to implant, but my body let them implant in the wrong place. I am so angry. Why is this happening to me?