Our son is 5 months now, and he coos, he grows and grows. All the time we buy clothes for him.What I feel is the hardest is when people say I must adore this little
gold nugget, or they say:
"I must admire this little masterpiece" or " You must be soo proud" And I have to just play along...I mean..I can't say out loud that I feel disappointed and frustrated that I had a son..
About Khristina
I am a woman of 30 years :) I met my husband through a christian internet match making site, 2005, got engaged 2006 and married june 2007. What is there to tell about me, well I am darkhaired. Darkbrown eyes..
I try to see the treasures I do have in life.. I am still learning. I am so thankful for this site! God Bless the one who started it! *Taking a deep breath* so if it's any you want to know.. Yeah by the way, born and raised in Sweden. Besides that, if anything, ask ;)
I had a son january this year.... And I didn't feel any connection during pregnancy nor after giving birth. The baby is now 4 months and 3 weeks old next week 5 months old.
I soo want a girl.. And I guess I am not alone. What's hardest is my mom demands I must love my son, but with what love? You cant produce love when you have none.. It's not the babys fault..So I pretend to love him, at all times but in my heart I feel none. It's hard... It's the same with my mother-in-law but she has not ever heard me utter a word that I'm disapointed in having a boy... I just told her when I had our son: Well next time there will be a girl and I'm sure you'll be a great grandma! Can you believe this! She is afraid if I give birth to a baby girl that she won't know how to deal with it, well I believe it's time for her to come in contact with one =)
But this is how things are. I will not be complete until I have a babygirl. My husband is obsessed my words I said, before.. I told him I got pregnant for his sake.. So that he can have a child/children.. I didn' t know he would be so sad because of it.. But when you are depressed when you grieve, when all you feel is emptiness then you can say things like this... I pray this will somehow touch someones heart so that she will feel she's not alone in these feelings....
To anyone that can't understand I can't love a boy, well I am sorry you don't have to write in any post I write, nor personally. Let me say this.... I am making my husband happy with him getting his son, and I want my daughter to relate to. If you think I am selfish, well newsflash! So is fathers wishing for a son!