My scheduled c-section is coming up soon, so I thought I'd take some time to reflect on this pregnancy before it's finally over.
First off... wow. Who'd have thought I'd make it this far?? Given the cervical shortening surprise we discovered at 26 weeks, followed by 8 weeks of home bedrest. lol My husband, OB, family and friends are all so happy we will be having term babies in the end. And so am I. Now it seems my body wants to keep those babies in!! I've had no signs at all of natural labor whatsoever.
At our last (!) OB appointment this past week, we found out Twin A is now transverse like her sister. Fun!! So the c-section is still on. My hope had always been to have the girls vaginally, but once A flipped to breech a few weeks ago, I knew it would not be possible, and I am okay with it. DS was born vaginally, so I've had that experience, which I am thankful for. I am not scared of having the surgery. My only concern has been recovery time and juggling everything I'd like to be capable of doing at home. My c/s nurse seems to think recovery will not be a big deal. And I know tons of women have been through it before me - so I'm sure we can handle it too.
This pregnancy is the last one I plan to have EVER, so these last few weeks have been a little different than with DS. The overriding feeling has been to get the girls OUT (due to physical discomfort), but a few times I've tried to focus on just *feeling* the pregnancy... noticing the girls move around in there, and knowing this is the last time my body ever will grow another human being. I only ever wanted two children, so three is more than enough! So I don't feel sad to know this is my last time being pregnant. I think it fits our life well.
Sometimes it's strange to realize that less than one year ago, we had no idea we'd even be on this HT path. And now our lives are about to change so dramatically. Mostly in practical/logistical/financial terms. But I also think my GD days are well and truly over. No more wishing for something I don't have, because I will in fact now have it. I never had concrete expectations on what a daughter (or raising a daughter) would be like, so I'm trying to stay open to accepting whatever these two little new lives bring to our family. Although I do secretly hope they will be like DS - he's been a wonderful child, and I hope we get that lucky again! lol
Speaking of which - DS has been absolutely amazing throughout this journey... he came to CA with us (on "family vacation"), so was a part of the process even though he did not realize it. We told him about the pregnancy when we were... ~11 weeks I think. He was already four by then so could understand pretty well what was happening. We educated him on the concept of twins, and ever since then he's refered to them as "his babies". Cute! He "helped" us pick the names (or, he thinks he did, lol) and has even managed to keep the selected ones a secret from my family as instructed! lol He was wonderful during my bedrest, understanding I couldn't play with him, etc. And just cuddling and reading with me instead. He expresses on a regular basis the ways he plans to help with the girls - and I truly believe he will adjust well.
DH has been excellent too - at first by being supportive of my GD to begin with and ultimately going HT (we each had to pay half, so he was willing to cough up for me, even though this was way more my dream than his). He was great while I was on bedrest too - encouraging me to obey the doctor's orders, and taking care of almost all our daily home life so I could truly stay down and try to keep the girls in. These last few weeks I think their imminent birth has become more real to him too - he's been touching my stomach a lot more, inquiring after their movements, and speaking to them. He's excited to meet them on c/s day!
We've got a stream of visitors planning to come stay with us (I think it's the twin thing, lol), so we'll have no shortage of help in the beginning. In late April, my sister will arrive to stay with us as planned as a (paid) live-in assistant. She will stay up to one year if it's mutually-desireable. Since we don't have other family around, knowing she will be here to help with our daily DS/baby routines is a nice relief. We get along great as well, so I think we'll actually have some fun! (DH is slightly jealous, lol)
So - I think we're about as ready as we can be at this point. I know our lives will probably be sheer chaos for a few weeks after
they're born... but I will write a post once they're here so all you
lovely supportive IG girls can know for sure everything is okay.
Thank you to everyone who has followed my story and offered their support and encouragement (both on my blog and on the boards). My hope is that by documenting our journey, I can help others find their ways towards their own dreams.
A huge thank-you too to Maureen for creating IG in the first place. I am pretty sure I'd never have pursued this HT option if it weren't for this website. So for that, thank you!