Danielle's Experience with Baby Gender Mentor

I was contacted by a reported for the large magazine in Canada- it is likeTime here in the U.S.- he wanted to do a story on the BGM test and wanted to talk with me.  He touched my heart right away when he told me that he sat in front of his computer all evening the night of my fourth ultrasound hitting the refresh button -he was just waiting to see the results. 

I told him all about my story, which when I retell to others seems like more of a saga- with so much heartbreak and confusion and tears.  He was nice and told me I sounded like his wife would sound if she was in this situation- he and his wife have a new baby girl.  I am anxious for the article to be in print. My hope is that women will see it and the word will begin to spread-I want women everywhere to know the risk that they take when they purchase this test. Taking this test could scar your heart. Taking this test could drive you crazy.  Taking this test could ruin a very happy time in your life.  And as I say this, the funny thing is......the final results of the BGM test which we will truly know when my baby comes into this world don't really even matter.  The accuracy of the test is one thing, but all this confusion is due to the fact that the four ultrasounds and the BGM test did not match.  So I guess what I am saying is that even if the BGM test is right and I have a boy in December- I still went threw all this craziness.  So I am begging women everywhere to think about what could happen before you take this test.

 

The post from these confused mothers just keep comming- more sad stories to add to the growing list.  Why is it ok to Accu-gen and the Baby Gender Mentor that we are here just waiting-filled with confusing and stress?  Don't they feel compelled to do something to help us- to ease our minds- to help take some stress away from the babies growing inside of us?  Show us the science- show us the studies- and not the studies that are refrenced on the Baby Gender Mentor Web site (those are not peer-reviewed studies) show us the real studies- the valid ones that show the thousands of women who took this test and it was never ever wrong.  Give us someting to do and something to read while we sit here and wait for the day our babies come into this world.

I am so sad for all these women. It truly makes my heart hurt.

I can't believe that I am not the only one questioning this test- that there are others on this site and other sites quietly waiting while worry and doubt simmer inside them.  Today I just want to send out a prayer to all the mothers going through this and to the sweet miracles growing inside of us.  And is is hard- truly it is, but we are lucky enough to be pregnant and that is a breath of happiness in itself!

I came home today afer a great day with my boys- we had been out shopping and playing and I was so proud of the little pink shoes I bought today for the baby girl inside of me. I felt good and happy and a little content, to be honest. I sat down at the computer and checked my e-mail and there in the in-box was the name Sherry Bonelli.  I have had no contact with her since she sent me the two line e-mail suggesting that I get a karyotype if the baby's chroromosomes-which sent me into a fury of stress and worry. It was a day that was full of tears for my unborn baby that I love with all my heart already. 

And so I opened it hoping that she was going to speak from her heart and see me as a concerned mother and say she was sorry for causing me such stress and worry- because we all know she is reading this site because she posted her own thoughts on it and it is a way for her to see what people are saying about this product that she sells.  So I know she knows how her e-mail impacted me.......anyway, this was not the case. 

 

The e-mail was short, but the first thing she did was make me feel bad for posting an e-mail that she had sent me on the detail and accuracy of the test. She said it mad her "sad" that I would post a private e-mail from me on an internet site.  Sad! I was depressed for weeks about her suggestion, and still worry every day about my baby.  And  to think that I posted it to help others.I thought it would mean more comming directly from her rather than me re-telling the e-mail.  And then she tried to make me feel bad for getting upset over the e-mail saying that the lab only made that suggestion because I was so concerned and that they didn't even have to make that suggestion- suggesting that they were so nice to send me into a panic.  If the lab was and is concerned and have suggestions then they should (in my opinion) share them:

A. with me-they should not be discussing my lab results and suggestions for me and my baby with the president of a pregnancy web site.

B.  with tact- giving me reasons to do such a test with as much information that they can provide while being sensitive to the impact of this news. 

C. Understand that no reasonable OB physician would risk an amnio when there is no clinical reason to do so, not to mention the fact that insurance would never cover it- Reason for  Amnio: Sherry Bonelli, the president of a pregnancy web site sent my patient an e-mail suggesting it. So the chances of this test actually being performed are slim to none- leaving the mother to be again, frustrated and worried.

 

But, she did wish me and my family all the best........

Well, I was so excited for today and nervous as well- I was sure that this little girl inside of me was going to have grown a penis and this time we were going to see it. (I am still in denial, I guess!)  But, No- this baby has no penis and no testes and clearly has the genital appearance of a baby girl.  I was joyful and tearful because a little girl would just be wonderful- actually I can just picture her completing our family. I am so close with my mom and I have longed to share that relationship with a daughter of my own.  I must admit that I was also angry- so angry because as much as I believe that this baby is a girl and as much as my family and friends believe this baby is a girl and as much as my OB practice believes this baby is a girl- Accu Gen and the Baby Gender Mentor results still loom around me. They hover over me like a black cloud. I will buy the bedding and call her by name and enjoy this time that I have left. Accu-Gen and the Baby Gender Mentor Test have already robbed me of so much of my pregnancy- filling it with doubt and confusion and worry over the health of my baby.  They have taken so much more than my money, but I am not sure they realize that.  If you are reading this, Sherry Bonelli, please remember that I am just a concerned mother who loves and wants to protect her heart and her family.  I am not a statistic, but a real person who has shed many tears since ordering the Baby Gender Mentor Test. For me it has not been worth it and I speak for me alone.  If I had conducted this pregnancy as I had the other two ( without the blood test) I would be happy and joyous as I planned for our baby girl, and at the very worst the doctor would have handed me a baby boy and it would have been love at first sight anyway- because when they hand you that baby- your baby- it's the only one you want anyway. I will be writing more and posting my ultrasound pictures too- please let me know what you think after seeing them.

Tomorrow I get to see yet another glimpse of this miracle inside me- I can't help but think that maybe tomorrow is the day we will finally see a pee-pee and all this confusion will be over, but the ather part of me is hoping that we don't see one and I can finally commit to pink. 

My OB says I need to relax and look at everything we know about my baby and my pregnancy clinically. SInce Sherry Bonelli e-mail me that I needed to look at the chromosomes of the baby, he became ever more skeptical of the test. He could not believe that she would drop such a bomb on an expectant mother in a two line e-mail.  So what we know clinically is that:

1. My pregnancy has been perfect so far

2. The baby had a beautiful ultrasound with no reason to  even think the baby has problems and in this ultrasound the baby is clearly a girl (the tech has never been wrong to date)

3.. All my labs and test that have been run have come back normal -including the triple screen

 

So, he feels that I need to focus on the fact the I have two beautiful boys at home and right after Christmas I will have a beautiful baby girl.

Easier said than done with the Baby Gender Mentor test twice saying boy with no live fetal X dna detected at all.  It is all confusing!  Especially because I have two precious little boys who I adore with all that I am, but wouldn't it be a dream to have a little girl too.  I have another ultrasound Monday- until then I pray and wait.

I got a two line e-mail from Sherry Bonelli today suggesting that I do a karyotype of the chromosomes of my baby.  She is suggesting with out saying it that there is something genetically wrong with my baby. Devestated and in tears I spent the morning- now the gender doesn't seem like that big of a deal.  The e-mail was two lines with no follow up or place to go for information or why the lab felt compelled to suggest this to me- she just dumped it on me without considering the emotional impact- who is this unprofessional company?  They have ruined my pregnancy and I can't wait to go see my OB today and talk this out.

Well after  getting the news from Accu-Gen that my baby was a boy, with no chance of it even being a girl, I was devestated.  I had just begun to plan for her and buy pink and had really given into the fact that she was a she and then we got these test results. So I called the 3D ultrasound faciility and headed over there for another look at this baby. The baby was uncooperative this time- legs crossed and legs together most of the time so we never got "the shot" but, in the hour and a half that I was there we never saw a penis, never saw testes, and we did see the three white lines that you see with a girl.  The technician's report was again- girl. So I still remian hopeful that the baby inside of me is a baby girl, but I won't be buying any more pink or preparing a nursery.I find this so sad- this blood test has taken all the fun out of this pregnancy, but it might be saving me alot of heartache as well. I would be so devestated to have planned and bought everything for this little girl only to be handed a boy- although when they hand it to you and it's yours and it's precious and wonderful then I guess it wouldn't really matter- it would still be love at first sight. I wish I had never heard of the Baby Gender Mentor Test

I cried myself to sleep last night. I am pregnant and hormonal and emotional and the devestsation from hurricane Kartina is so heartbreaking. I prayed for the victims first and then I prayed for a sign for me to know what this baby is to make me peaceful again.  I dreamed last night- which is not something I remember usually, my dreams. L:ast night it was so real- so vivid/

I went to an ultrasound, but my entire family was there waiting.  They put a probe on my belly and my belly became transparent and I cound see the baby. We took her out of my tummy and I held the baby up, water dripping from the tiny body. "see, it is a girl!" my family said. I turned the baby over and they said,"it really is a girl" and we looked at the anatomy.  I then opened the legs and looked and reached down and saw that there was a pee-pee, it just hadn't been allowed to decend because of a small flap of skin there. I pulled it back and out it came. 'It's a boy," they cried. I dressed him in a yelloe sweater and held him for a while.  He was too tiny, and not fully formed yet. He coughed and I knew he needed to go back in me. I kissed him, told him I loved him, and told him I would see him when he was ready to come out.  And then I woke up....my 17 month old was crying "Mama" from his crib. Is this the sign I had asked for?

I got my  second Accu-Gen results back today. Not only does it tell me that I should be expecting a boy because Y- fetal Material is very apparent, but it told me that there is not traceable X fetal material at all- that there is no way I could be having a girl- even with a vanishing twin a girl is not a possibility for me.  So I am right back where I stareted- confused!  I was just starting to let my heart prepare for a girl AND WAS HOPING THIS SECOND TEST WOULD ALLOW ME TO DO THAT! But, no.....

Well, I guess Sherry from the pregnancystore.com contacted Accu-Gen because they called to say they are sending me a new kit....it will be interesting to see what this test, with a new sample, says. And if they labs are so intricate that they can determine if my own mother had a vanishing twin or some other odd factor that could have made my results incorrect the first time- then what is up with me?

 

 

The test came and I have sent it back -I'll let you know when the results are in......

The president of the pregnancystore.com finally got back with me again and again told me that the test had never been wrong. Here is her message:

and I did write her back again asking to be retested.....

Until then, think happy thoughts...

 

I'll wait to hear from you in December.

 

Take care.

 

Sherry

 

Sherry Bonelli

Pregnancy Store

We went today for a third opinion- a 2d/3d/4d ultrasound and the two techs said without a doubt that the baby is a girl- no ifs ands or buts she is a she- no question!

But...I am still not convinced totally...how can this test be so exact and never wrong?

Apparently, with the test you fill in three circles with blood, but only two are ran and compared- the third is used for reruns, but I was not initially told this when I contacted the lab with my ultrasound results.  After contacting them again, they agreed to rerun the third circle and the results were the same- it's a boy in their eyes and they want me to wait until the baby comes to see. So frustrating...I can't believe they won't rerun the test!