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Where am I headed?

I have 2 beautiful boys and thought I was "done" having kids. However, I know there is a void, an absence of some sort in my life. I can't help but think it's the absence of a little girl in my life. I'm not sure where that puts me... and these are my feelings on that.

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June 2009 - Posts

And Baby C has a name, too!

Carter Chance came into our family at 10:26 a.m. weighing 7lbs. 14oz and a whopping 21 in long!  (No wonder it felt like his feet were in my lungs and throat... they WERE!!) 

We arrived at the hospital at 6a.m. after NO SLEEP due to severe heartburn and some awesome thunderstorms!  I got hooked up to pitocin at about 7:30.  My doc broke my water about 8:45, and the contractions that I was already having got pretty strong.  At that point, I was at a 2 and about 70-80% effaced.  They kept asking if I wanted stadol (sp) or my epi, and I said no.  (I have heard icky things about stadol, and I have no idea why I wanted to wait for the epi!)  Finally, the contractions did get very strong, and they felt different than with C&C - these were so intense and almost a sharp pain.  So I got the epi about 9:30, I guess.  My mom, bless her heart, was so hungry.  (This was about 10:00.)  I told her to go get something to eat because it wasn't like we were going to have the baby in the next 15-20 mins!  She did.  I was laying on my left side to "numb it up" and was to turn to my right side after about 15 minutes.  I started feeling really strong contractions again, but only on the right side.  So Bill helped me turn over.  When I did, the monitor lost the baby's heartbeat.  We tried to find it ourselves, but couldn't so the nurse came in and fiddled with the monitor.  She couldn't find his heartbeat, and I saw a flash of concern on her face.  She kicked everyone out (besides Bill), slapped on a glove, and checked me.  The look on her face was PRICELESS... She said, "THAT'S why we can't find the heartbeat!  He's coming out NOW!" Surprise  So Bill called my mom while the nurse had me go ahead and give a couple of pushes.  They called my doc over, though I think they didn't expect him to get there in time because a team of nurses came in.  Mom finally showed up just about the time the doc came zooming in.  Up my legs went, 3 pushes, and out he was!  No tearing, no horrible swelling, nothing.  The easiest delivery by far.  I was up walking to the bathroom on my own by 11:00.

Carter is so quiet.  I've heard him cry (kind of) twice when he got his first shots.  Other than that, all he does is coo.  It's adorable.  Connor wasn't sure what to think at first, but now he can't stop kissing him.  Caleb is so smitten that he doesn't like for ANYONE else to hold him.  He wants him all of the tme.  It's cute.  I'm sure it will be cute but rough once we get home.  At any rate, I'll take it because my big boys LOVE their little brother.  And, I think I kinda like him a little bit myself! Happy Wink

Thanks for your support through this journey.  I'm sure there will be some rollercoaster days to come, but I'm doing better than I thought I would at this point. 

IMG_8312.jpg picture by caleb2connor

IMG_8329.jpg picture by caleb2connor