The Plan: To Give Our Beautiful Son A Little Sister!!

I went in for my second beta this morning, but I'm not too worried. I just did another test (havent done one for a few days) and the line came up so quickly and dark - much quicker than the one I did on Saturday.. Looking good!

My first beta was 143, and that was 16dpo. Feeling positive about this really being it.. I know its still early (I'm not quite 5 weeks pregnant yet!) but I'm really happy. I know how blessed we are to have gotten this far...

ETA: 2nd beta came back at 1086. Woohoo!! More than doubled twice in 4 days :)

I can't believe I get to write this post. I am 9dp5dt and we've had positives consistently since 5dp5dt.. starting to sink in that I am really pregnant!!

Everyday my BFPs are getting stronger!! I even got a positive on a digital yesterday.

Of course the fear of losing our bubba kicks in now too but I am trying to hold the faith and believe everything will be ok..

My first beta is on Monday (I tried to move it forward but Dr F wants me to wait) so now I am resting.. I have nausea from the progesterone and estrogen anyway and now I am sick with a throat infection.. but who cares?? I am pregnant!!

So i'm on my last day of bedrest today and looking forward to being up and around (and packing to go home) tomorrow.

I realized I hadn't updated this since my day 3 report so here it is..

On the morning of day 5 I had an email from my nurse confirming that we had 3 embryos to transfer and to please come in by 10:30am.

Having been through this before I was not nervous about the actual procedure but the prospect of putting 3 embryos back was not something we had planned on doing. I assumed that if our Dr was recommending to put 3 back in that the embies must have been slow growing or low grade but to my surprise we had 3 blasts all ready (one expanded blast b/c and two blasts graded b).

She gave us less than a 5% chance that all three embryos would take so my DH and I had a quick discussion.. We could have frozen the 3rd embryo but that would meaning coming all the way back to the US on the hope that it would defrost safely.. Or we could transfer it now, with the other two, and give it a shot.. Which is what we decided to do.

(My DH made me promise that if we did wind up with triplets we would be hiring 2 nannies.. and I agreed!)

We both think we did the right thing, and I'm very glad we made that decision.

HRC was watching a 4th embryo for us to see if it would catch up but since we havent heard from them I assume it didnt make it..

I've poas to check the trigger is out and it is, so I feel confident that if we do get a positive in the next few days its the real deal.. but having said that I don't feel at all certain we'll get pregnant.

I've been thinking about why I am so doubtful I will get pregnant.. The power of association is very strong and having been through this before, the only association I have with this wait is disappointment.

Intellectually I know this cycle may have a different outcome but emotionally all I know is what I have experienced in the past and the drive to protect myself from that pain is very strong..

So I continue to plan and prepare for returning home and focusing on anything BUT pregnancy.

I'll check back in when I start to properly poas... expecting the worst, but hoping for the best!!

Today's progress report is in and all six embies are still growing, which is wonderful news.. We currently have;

2 x 8 cell embies
1 x 7 cell emby
3 x 4 cells embies

All are grade b.

So now we wait and see how many get to day 5, and hopefully transfer on Monday.

We find out tomorrow how our 6 little embies are doing. At this stage we are still not doing PGD but our RE wants us to wait if possible and do a 5 day blast transfer.. I guess we'll see how they are in the morning and go from there..

 _______________________

Out of the 24 eggs we havested, only 9 were mature and only 6 were fertlized.

I'm disappointed and even though I know intellectually we're not out of the game, emotionally I need to prepare for this cycle to be another failure...

Egg retrival this morning.. and we got 24 eggs!!

We won't know til tomorrow how many were mature and how many were successfully fertilized but this is a great start, feeling really confident

Well this morning's ultrasound went well - I have approx 20 eggs still.. The measurements she took ranged from 14 to 20mm and its all looking great!

I was wrong, I do have one last stim shot this afternoon, and another Lupron at 4pm and then tonight at exactly 9:30pm I will be triggering!! Yay!!

Dr F recommends we do go forward with PGD and check the sex chromosomes, as we are going to have so many embryos and we'll prob be coming back to do FET so it makes sense to check that we'll actually be freezing/transferring viable embryos. This also means we will know if we are transferring females or males - I certainly wont be discarding any boys, actually excited about DS maybe having a little brother someday.. awww

I also spoke to Dr F about the lump I found in my breast last night. She reassured me that its very common to experience lumps during stims and does not want me to get it xrayed right now as they will want to biopsy any lumps they find which is not necessary given the lumps are caused by the drugs. So I'll follow up on any lumps I can still feel when I get home..

Lastly I have literally a new big box of drugs for this stage of the process. Antibiotics and steriod tablets. Progesterone suppositories, and heprin and estrogen injections. Fun fun fun

I am also continuing with the baby asprin and with the new prenatal vitamins by RE has me on that are formulated specially for ppl undergoing IVF (Naturally Smart vitamins)

We're all set and feeling very confident. By this time next week I'll be PUPO!!

Well this morning's ultrasound went well - I have approx 20 eggs still.. The measurements she took ranged from 14 to 20mm and its all looking great!

I was wrong, I do have one last stim shot this afternoon, and another Lupron at 4pm and then tonight at exactly 9:30pm I will be triggering!! Yay!!

Dr F recommends we do go forward with PGD and check the sex chromosomes, as we are going to have so many embryos and we'll prob be coming back to do FET so it makes sense to check that we'll actually be freezing/transferring viable embryos. This also means we will know if we are transferring females or males - I certainly wont be discarding any boys, actually excited about DS maybe having a little brother someday.. awww

I also spoke to Dr F about the lump I found in my breast last night. She reassured me that its very common to experience lumps during stims and does not want me to get it xrayed right now as they will want to biopsy any lumps they find which is not necessary given the lumps are caused by the drugs. So I'll follow up on any lumps I can still feel when I get home..

Lastly I have literally a new big box of drugs for this stage of the process. Antibiotics and steriod tablets. Progesterone suppositories, and heprin and estrogen injections. Fun fun fun

I am also continuing with the baby asprin and with the new prenatal vitamins by RE has me on that are formulated specially for ppl undergoing IVF (Naturally Smart vitamins)

We're all set and feeling very confident. By this time next week I'll be PUPO!!

Well I've just done my last shot of stims.. I have another Lupron shot in the morning and then the ultrasound and bloodtest.

Assuming all is good, I'll be triggering tomorrow night!! And then the new protocol kicks in; antibiotics, steriods, progesterone, estrogen injections and heprin injections..

So not exactly finished injections but coming into a different stage of the journey..

Physically feeling the effects of heightened estrogen a bit more.. experiencing mild nausea and really quite tired. Very happy we've settled into our lovely hotel in Laguna so we dont have any packing or moving in the next few weeks..

We'll be here for 2 weeks before flying home - by then I'll be on the 2ww!!

Well I had a bloodtest n Chicago on Thursday morning (after 5 nights of stims) and my oestrogen came back at 790. Dr F tells me that at this stage of my last cycle it was only 83 so that is a huge improvement!!

I had another blood test and ultrasound on Friday morning. The ultrasound showed lots of good sized follies, approx. 20!! And my E2 came back at 1331, so my Dr is very happy with how I am responding to the new protocol.

She assured us that we will have some to freeze this time, which is so exciting.. I am very confident now that we will be creating the rest of our family this week.. Our 2nd & 3rd - maybe even a 4th child..

We've decided definitely not to go with PGD this time, we don't want to risk any harm to the embryos and the reality is that we would not reject an embryo because it was male anyway so there is no point... (the false positives of PGD really scare me too). I am happy to be boosting our odds with the M/S.. I just really want to be pregnant right now!!

Hopefully we get more good news on Monday so we cant trigger Monday night.. bring it on!!

Well I had a bloodtest n Chicago on Thursday morning (after 5 nights of stims) and my oestrogen came back at 790. Dr F tells me that at this stage of my last cycle it was only 83 so that is a huge improvement!!

I had another blood test and ultrasound on Friday morning. The ultrasound showed lots of good sized follies, approx. 20!! And my E2 came back at 1331, so my Dr is very happy with how I am responding to the new protocol.

She assured us that we will have some to freeze this time, which is so exciting.. I am very confident now that we will be creating the rest of our family this week.. Our 2nd & 3rd - maybe even a 4th child..

We've decided definitely not to go with PGD this time, we don't want to risk any harm to the embryos and the reality is that we would not reject an embryo because it was male anyway so there is no point... (the false positives of PGD really scare me too). I am happy to be boosting our odds with the M/S.. I just really want to be pregnant right now!!

Hopefully we get more good news on Monday so we cant trigger Monday night.. bring it on!!

Firstly, after further discussions with my RE we have decided that I will stay on a reduced level of Prozac rather than rushing off it too quickly. I'm fairly happy with this decision, it seems the wisest way to go..

Secondly, we leave for Chicago in less than 12 hours! Its 7:30pm here now and our flight leaves Vegas at 6am so its going to be a very early start tomorrow but hopefully that means we'll get some sleep on the plane..

Thirdly, I start stims in half an hour!! I've beeon the the microdose lupron for 2.5 days and my only real side effect has been some breast achy-ness today.. Tonight I start daily injections of 350mg Follistim..

From now I will be especially careful.. No alcohol, no painkillers, no caffeine, no artificial sweetners, no exercise, no drastic changes to my body temperature.. Operation play it safe!!

First shot done this morning!! So less nerve wracking than last time, my alarm went off and I just did the shot and went back to bed..

So glad I am calmer this round - especially given I am coming off prozac at the same.. I gave it a lot of thought last night.. I imagine my consultant psychiatrist would not be thrilled that I am coming off prozac at a stressful time, especially so quickly, but its the choice I feel most comfortable with because I don't want to risk any harm to our baby..

Vegas is beautiful and sunny today - but I think I'll stay in our hotel room and look at the view for a few more hours.. I plan to nap when DS does and hit the town later on today..

First shot done this morning!! So less nerve wracking than last time, my alarm went off and I just did the shot and went back to bed..

So glad I am calmer this round - especially given I am coming off prozac at the same.. I gave it a lot of thought last night.. I imagine my consultant psychiatrist would not be thrilled that I am coming off prozac at a stressful time, especially so quickly, but its the choice I feel most comfortable with because I don't want to risk any harm to our baby..

Vegas is beautiful and sunny today - but I think I'll stay in our hotel room and look at the view for a few more hours.. I plan to nap when DS does and hit the town later on today..